What with all of the shenanigans involved with the recent presidential campaign, it’s time we got down to brass tacks for a bit.

Let’s face it, the name of the game is that you, The American Voter, get to have some which of the available moron sock-puppet candidates will be your Emperor for the next four to eight years.

On the Republican side, Manchurian Senator John McCain is saying that your kids and grandkids will be patrolling the streets and back alleys of Baghdad and Fallujah for the next hundred years. What has this piece of shit promised you in compensation? Well, he won’t torture you if you’re charged with a crime -- he’ll probably throw you straight into prison. Tax cuts, so you can spend some of your money on stuff that matters to you? At first, McClown was opposed to making the (miniscule) Bush-43 tax cuts permanent. But -- whoops -- Election Season comes around, and NOW he wants to make them permanent. And he’s no improvement over Comrade President George XLIII over Drug Prohibition -- McClown will throw your kid in prison for smoking a joint. Hell, his own party is lacking in enthusiasm for him -- why would anyone else vote for him?

There’s no improvement on the Democrat side. ReichSenators Clinton and Obama are planning on keeping your kids in Iraq -- maybe not the hundred years that McClown is talking about (maybe so?), but what exactly is their timetable to bring the troops home and turn Iraq over to the Iraqis? And Obama said in Democratic Party debate last year that he’d support (nuclear?) air strikes against Pakistan if things there aren’t to his liking. Both Hitlery and Obomba are promising you all sorts of handouts -- "universal health care," for example.

So where’s that leave someone whom isn’t a Kool-Aid drinker for either branch of the Boot On Your Neck Party?

You could vote for a "third party" that has a mathematical chance of winning (I usually vote Libertarian[1]), but what good is that, beyond a protest vote? Your choice doesn’t win, and so your views aren’t represented in the end results.

When there’s no viable candidate that I can stomach voting for, I "cast a blank" -- that is, I refuse to pick a candidate for the race in question. Some people whine and snivel that "You have to pick one of them . . ."

And just why is that? Why the fuck do I have to pick a candidate that I would rather cover with hot tar and feathers? Is there some statutory requirement that I do so, as there was in the former Soviet Union?

No, there isn’t, much to the chagrin of the BOYN whiners, such as Eric "the Shake" Dondero.

And while the much-needed None Of The Above option isn’t on the ballot (don’t hold your breath for it to get there!), casting a blank isn’t enough, emotionally speaking.

What I’m looking for is the ultimate "FUCK YOU" candidate. And that candidate is none other than Cthulhu. I won’t bother with the specifics of what makes him so appealing here -- you can see for yourself at the article I linked to here. Suffice it to say that in the McClown vs. Hitlery/Obomba "contest," you don’t have to suffer the lesser of two evils.

If you’re into voting, why not go all-out?

Cthulhu for President!
[1] Disclaimer -- I’m a sitting officer of the Libertarian Party of New Mexico