Dear Diary
It's 7pm and I just woke up. I kicked all the 18 yr old boys out of my bed and I immediatley called my bff perez and gave him all the juice...I was in an extra man eating mood so i started off fucking the UCLA football team... sadly none of them had girlfriends, or fiances or wives, so I knew they wouldn't fill my void... before i could go anywhere i had to get my drink on.. so after 10 shots of patron, a bottle of everclear, i was getting warmed up.. how will I ever be taken seriously if I don't get a DUI and my crotch shot, fuck I've been trying for months now! I called the paps and let them know the kids were gone for the weekend and I was ready to get my cougar on! meet me at the bar and have the cameras ready...I have to say it was a slow night...the only dude worth talking to was 25 but fuck it...he had a bag full of blow and we laid it out on the table... who needs to go in and out of the bathroom when your as hot as me! bathrooms are for rookies! after numbing all my guilt and insecurities away i sure and hell didn't feel like i was getting the attention i deserved..I mean have you gone to
www.whosdatedwho.com I will never catch up to my idols this way! I had to hook up with at LEAST 6 more dudes to meet my quota! who knew whoring, gold digging, and breaking into porn....I mean making a "stolen" sex tape! would be so hard! fuck it! it was my night to party! I fell on my face a couple times but i made it to the top of the bar where after a couple irish car bombs i danced to the beat in my own head....I knew i was one step closer to my dream. I blacked out a couple times driving home and I think I may have hit a deer but still no DUI. the night was a bust...I guess ill go back to bed. love and kisses
shannaxoxo