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Humeur actuelle :constipated
Dear diary, Oh em gee...what a day! I had my last session of lipo-desolve in Vegas. Cracked out on adderall and perks; I just needed to head back home. I was about to jump on my helicopter that I rightfully won in my latest divorce, when the Maloof brothers gave me their lear jet. Yes, honeys. Gave me. Suck it. Anyway, I call up my best star fucking whore of a best friend Chrissie Carnell (who's done surprisingly well in this town without a publicist...she must be a Scientologist) and go to Carmen and Rob's party in the Bu. Worried that I might not get that crotch shot I put in my "the secret" dream book (damnit, when is it MY TURN???)...I paid the photogs extra to hide in the trees. Then all of the sudden there is a commotion outside. The photogs I paid for just got into a slapping fight with Kim K's bought paparazzi. Kim wanted to make sure that she got that double wide shot, but I had to upstage that double wide girl. So here it is America.......Never in my wildest dreams would I ever feel sorry for, um, Ms. Hilton but I do, because she was taken advantage of by a simple closet organizer who has no modeling skill, hosting ability, acting talent....but there was that poorly distributed sex tape....damn, could never get Travis drunk enough...ahem...neither could Kim....Anyway, my mama always said, "where there's a will there is a way..."
OH MY GAWD......I gotta go. Perez just called me. He just found my kids at the Vegas airport. I, like, totally forgot I had them....There were no paparazzi around to remind me. Sheesh.....Life is so hard.
Sparkles and Balls, Shannaxoxoxox
10:47
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