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shanna moakler



Last Updated: 10/16/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 34
Sign: Aries

City: LA
State: California
Country: US
Signup Date: 11/5/2005
Monday, July 21, 2008 

Current mood:constipated
Category: Parties and Nightlife
Dear diary,
Oh em gee...what a day! I had my last session of lipo-desolve in Vegas. Cracked out on adderall and perks; I just needed to head back home. I was about to jump on my helicopter that I rightfully won in my latest divorce, when the Maloof brothers gave me their lear jet. Yes, honeys. Gave me. Suck it. Anyway, I call up my best star fucking whore of a best friend Chrissie Carnell (who's done surprisingly well in this town without a publicist...she must be a Scientologist) and go to Carmen and Rob's party in the Bu. Worried that I might not get that crotch shot I put in my "the secret" dream book (damnit, when is it MY TURN???)...I paid the photogs extra to hide in the trees. Then all of the sudden there is a commotion outside. The photogs I paid for just got into a slapping fight with Kim K's bought paparazzi. Kim wanted to make sure that she got that double wide shot, but I had to upstage that double wide girl. So here it is America.......Never in my wildest dreams would I ever feel sorry for, um, Ms. Hilton but I do, because she was taken advantage of by a simple closet organizer who has no modeling skill, hosting ability, acting talent....but there was that poorly distributed sex tape....damn, could never get Travis drunk enough...ahem...neither could Kim....Anyway, my mama always said, "where there's a will there is a way..."

OH MY GAWD......I gotta go. Perez just called me. He just found my kids at the Vegas airport. I, like, totally forgot I had them....There were no paparazzi around to remind me. Sheesh.....Life is so hard.

Sparkles and Balls,
Shannaxoxoxox
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Travis Barkers Biggest Fan
Familia Reyes

 
Perks musta been pretty amazing..
 
Posted by Travis Barkers Biggest Fan on Monday, July 21, 2008 - 6:19 PM
[Reply to this
*Julie*
Julie Cockrum

 
....and the best part....sparkles and balls! Omfg! Lol!
 
Posted by *Julie* on Monday, July 21, 2008 - 6:19 PM
[Reply to this
Jen
Jennifer Murphy

 
Ahhhh....I want your life.... hehehehehe.

 
Posted by Jen on Monday, July 21, 2008 - 6:22 PM
[Reply to this
mizz dani [loves her mini ssss driver]

 
LOL nice!
 
Posted by mizz dani [loves her mini ssss driver] on Monday, July 21, 2008 - 6:22 PM
[Reply to this
Shanna Love

 
you need to write a book and title it, "My Life According to You". seriously...lol... you would sell millions.
You are a very funny, well-spoken girl :)
 
Posted by Shanna Love on Monday, July 21, 2008 - 6:22 PM
[Reply to this
Aaarrrgggg ☠
Lauren Vento

 
haha... I love that you have a sense of humor.. thanks for the laugh.

 
Posted by Aaarrrgggg ☠ on Monday, July 21, 2008 - 9:43 PM
[Reply to this
+MariSol +
Marisol No Last

 
i'm serioulsy LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good shit Ms.
S


xoxo
Mari
 
Posted by +MariSol + on Monday, July 21, 2008 - 9:54 PM
[Reply to this
~Niki~

 
F*cking hilarious!! Love it!! :)
 
Posted by ~Niki~ on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 1:05 AM
[Reply to this
♫ Mrs. Carter!! ♫
Lucinda Carter

 
love!
 
Posted by ♫ Mrs. Carter!! ♫ on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 1:05 AM
[Reply to this
♥☠♥ JESSICA ♥☠♥

 
lol you crack me up. I read what Perez wrote and...PLEASE.... how bias was that story! Anyways, it sounds like you had a fun weekend...I'm jealous!

xoxoxo Jessica xoxoxo
 
Posted by ♥☠♥ JESSICA ♥☠♥ on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 2:29 AM
[Reply to this
~*Nickie*~

 
heh..thats pretty funny.
LOL sparkles n balls! your the best babe!
<3 nik
 
Posted by ~*Nickie*~ on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 2:29 AM
[Reply to this
...cheryl & pedro...
Pedro Kol

 
HAHA!! Rock on girl
 
Posted by ...cheryl & pedro... on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 2:30 AM
[Reply to this
The Spanish Princess
Kimberly Murray

 
Girl you Fucking Rock. you ar 200% both of them!! Keep doing what your doing girl.

 
Posted by The Spanish Princess on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 2:31 AM
[Reply to this
♡Perfectly Flawed♡
Tiffany Dawson

 
<3 it girly

TEAM SHANNA
 
Posted by ♡Perfectly Flawed♡ on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 2:31 AM
[Reply to this
Lindsey Lou Who ♥

 
I don't know how you guys can deal with papparazzi. I really feel for celebrities.
I know I couldn't do it! More power to you!
 
Posted by Lindsey Lou Who ♥ on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 2:32 AM
[Reply to this
Kirin

 
Good for you Shanna! Too funny!

Warmly,

Kirin :)
 
Posted by Kirin on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 2:42 AM
[Reply to this
Salley O'Malley

 
Hahahahahahahha, made me spit out my Yoo-Hoo.....Seriously, you need your own sitcom or something. Actually, I see you in a American verson of Absolutely Fabulous, quick call Roseanne she owns the rights.....

Sparkles, but no balls...well except on Fridays
Salley
 
Posted by Salley O'Malley on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 2:42 AM
[Reply to this
★☠SuZaNnE☠★

 
lol!! =] that was funny!!
 
Posted by ★☠SuZaNnE☠★ on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 2:49 AM
[Reply to this
Danielle☆
Danielle Wingo

 
u rock ass shanna...i love that u arent afraid to poke fun at the gossip surrounding you...fuck perez, he's such a douche!
 
Posted by Danielle☆ on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 2:53 AM
[Reply to this
Ashley
Ashley McDonald

 
aha, simply amazin!! go shay nay!!!
 
Posted by Ashley on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 3:01 AM
[Reply to this
Meghan

 
Love it!! Wicked pissa.
=_
 
Posted by Meghan on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 3:09 AM
[Reply to this
Jamie
jamie lynn daniel

 
When I grow up I want to be just like you!.....No seriously..I do.
You rock hard girl!
 
Posted by Jamie on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 3:10 AM
[Reply to this
Lisa Marie
Lisa Lamb

 
LOL love it!

xoxo
 
Posted by Lisa Marie on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 3:10 AM
[Reply to this
☆♥@JAZANTI♥☆

 
HA,HA,HA LOVE IT!
 
Posted by ☆♥@JAZANTI♥☆ on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 3:18 AM
[Reply to this


 
You ROCK, Shanna!

Like someone else said, you NEED to have your own reality show! I miss seeing you on TV~ especially just being yourself. I have always admired, adored, and loved you so much, girl~ and I can also relate to you in so many ways (I was in beauty pageants, too- won the state title of Miss American Coed- placed in the top 5 of the Teen USA pageant for my state, have aspired to be a playmate but would now settle for Hot Housewives or something....and now I have 7 kids~ yes, *7*!!!).


Anyway, sorry for rambling about all that "stuff"~ you totally crack me up! I KNOW you are a great person...and a SUPER Mom, too! I, just like the others, have no idea how you deal with all of the media attention- especially when it's false.
However, you handle it all with such grace, poise, and humor that I know we (as your fans!) don't have to worry about you! ;)

Keep writing your hysterical blogs...and keep being YOU!

Sparkles and Balls and hugs & kisses!!!! XOXOXO
 
Posted by on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 3:20 AM
[Reply to this
Kara

 
You're the best darling!! xoxo
 
Posted by Kara on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 3:20 AM
[Reply to this
♥ Mr & Mrs Trujillo ♥

 
LMAO, you are too funny! Rock what you got mama!! I need to write a story like this.

 
Posted by ♥ Mr & Mrs Trujillo ♥ on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 4:18 AM
[Reply to this
@_aly

 
LOVES IT! LOVE YOU! STAY BEAUTIFUL! XO
 
Posted by @_aly on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 4:19 AM
[Reply to this
MaTriX

 
miss M,

Cant wait for the Crotch Shot,!! have you ever tried Vodka with Melon Slices?.. my new all time favorite.


Things here in Dallas are FAR more laid back, but we Do have Jessica Simpson YEE HAW..

sTAY cLAsSY Miss Thang

Mr Radtastic
 
Posted by MaTriX on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 4:20 AM
[Reply to this
april

 
Jesus that is some seriously funny sh*t.... Aww the life of a wannabee.. soo sad..
 
Posted by april on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 8:04 AM
[Reply to this
Muerta's Las Trepas
Muerta xXx Enforcer

 
Those GIRLS can't hold a candle to you! What TALENT do either of them really have besides spending their fathers' money? PLEASE!!! You can do it all and you don't have to resort to cheap attention seeking behavior to get noticed!

As for sex tapes, did anyone really WANT to see Paris naked, let alone having sex? NOT ME! Gross! I'd lay odds you and Travis could make some big bucks if you went that route, though. Be most watched even compared to Pam and Tommy! Not that you would, but still...

You have my great respect!
 
Posted by Muerta's Las Trepas on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 8:04 AM
[Reply to this
Jessica/tmje
Jessica Stowers

 
lol ha ha that's was cool and funny
 
Posted by Jessica/tmje on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 8:04 PM
[Reply to this
Jessica
Jessica Miller

 
Mama, i just read what Perez Hilton wrote on his Website. That website is such shit. I could not believe what nasty comments people were saying about you. It makes me SO MAD when people start cutting you up and insulting you, especially about your mothering skills. OMG who ever said moms can't go out and have a good time and party a little bit. It's like they want you to be licked in your house and never come out. Don't worry about what ANYONE is saying about you, you are beautiful and talented and unlike a lot of these bitches you have a sense of humor.
Kepp living your life the way you see fit and pay no attention to haters
 
Posted by Jessica on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 8:04 PM
[Reply to this
Krissy

 
omg no you didnt...I am laughing so hard.. you are brilliant!!! you seriously crack me up. Love ya mama!! your the best.
xoxo
((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))
you are so much better then those tarts.

p.s perez is gross, he looks like a jelly donut thats about to explode. and he prob smells too, ew.
heeheehe

TEAM SHANNA!!!!! (wink-wink)
 
Posted by Krissy on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 8:07 PM
[Reply to this
♥ CrAzY/BeAuTiFuL♥
Rachel Alcina

 
THAT is some funny shit:)
 
Posted by ♥ CrAzY/BeAuTiFuL♥ on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 8:07 PM
[Reply to this
Cassandra

 
You are so funny, I too, like lots of others wish you would have your own reality show -- probably in the works and you are just holding back the little surprise to all of your fans!! Rock on pretty lady!
 
Posted by Cassandra on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 8:07 PM
[Reply to this
Kylie

 
I sense a little sarcasm here haha. FUCK Perez! He wants to rag on you but what is he famous for? Ohhhh that's right drawing penises on celebrities' faces and starting misguided rumors.

Just keep doing what you do Shanna!!
 
Posted by Kylie on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 8:07 PM
[Reply to this
victor&melissa
Melissa Day Smith

 
she needs a double wide shot! I am so deleting her ass!LOL Why do nearly all of the beautiful people need to be so phony! Maybe b/c 60% of them are.

 
Posted by victor&melissa on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 8:08 PM
[Reply to this
Buzz Drive

 
Pissing my pants laughing...you rock mama!!!
 
Posted by Buzz Drive on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 8:09 PM
[Reply to this
Mina

 
GREAT... :))
 
Posted by Mina on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 8:10 PM
[Reply to this
♥~Barajas~♥

 
You are the BEST ever, Like I've said many times you are real! You are as real as any woman who deals with men, has kids and still works.......Life would be so boring if wealth was instant, which is the reason for their attention deprivation
 
Posted by ♥~Barajas~♥ on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 10:56 PM
[Reply to this
Vanessa

 
LOL amen to that!
 
Posted by Vanessa on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 11:59 PM
[Reply to this
♥ANGEL BABYY♥
Angel Fletcher

 
this cant be real she seems better that that
 
Posted by ♥ANGEL BABYY♥ on Wednesday, July 23, 2008 - 1:54 AM
[Reply to this
Katie and J.B. <3 {12.4.2010} <3

 
haha! Very creative! :)
 
Posted by Katie and J.B. <3 {12.4.2010} <3 on Thursday, July 24, 2008 - 1:12 AM
[Reply to this
The Fan Girl Next Door

 
God, you are such a funny smart ass. I LOVE it! That is the only way to get through shit, if you ask me.


Janet :)
 
Posted by The Fan Girl Next Door on Thursday, July 24, 2008 - 1:12 AM
[Reply to this
~Patricia Nikole~

 
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! BALLZ....
 
Posted by ~Patricia Nikole~ on Thursday, July 24, 2008 - 1:13 AM
[Reply to this
Sara
Sara Beaulieu

 
I love it!!!! I want some perks, betta yet an OC 80 will do!
 
Posted by Sara on Thursday, July 24, 2008 - 1:14 AM
[Reply to this
Michael,writer for EntertainmentVine.com

 
not bad,Shanna....


now if you could have given the Maloof brothers a basketball team for the jet.....
 
Posted by Michael,writer for EntertainmentVine.com on Thursday, July 24, 2008 - 1:17 AM
[Reply to this
Sweetie Kai Designs

 
BBBWAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
 
Posted by Sweetie Kai Designs on Thursday, July 24, 2008 - 1:35 AM
[Reply to this
FoxyBox™ a.k.a Boots

 
I dunno how the fuck I landed on this page - but this is the funniest shit!!!!!!!!!

*Foxsaay*
 
Posted by FoxyBox™ a.k.a Boots on Thursday, July 24, 2008 - 1:40 AM
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