((Reposting this for the new kids.--BKV))

A ton of new traffic here after this joint got plugged in WIZARD, and I've gotten over 1,000 new messages, many of them asking for advice about writing and breaking in. I wish I had time to respond to each, but unfortunately, I'm working on four to five books a month (on top of two screenplays for New Line), so I decided to post this one mega-response in the hopes of reaching as many of you as possible.

First, the disclaimers that will make me seem like a dick: I know it sounds like lawyerly bullshit, but for legal reasons, I ABSOLUTELY CAN'T READ YOUR SCRIPTS, PITCHES, IDEAS, ETC. Please don't send them to me. Even if I could read them (which I can't), I wouldn't be able to help you get work. Only editors can hire you, and I'm just a lowly freelancer. If I could magically get people on the payroll at Marvel or DC, I would have done it for my freeloading playwright wife ages ago. (Kidding, Ruthless).

Still, I love free stuff, so if you have a PUBLISHED minicomic, zine, or whatever, please feel free to send it to me. That said, I'm afraid I no longer write review quotes, cover blurbs or introductions. I felt too bad turning some creators down, so I stopped cold turkey a few months ago. Apologies, but seriously, that stuff won't help sell your books. All that matters is quality.

Anyway, let's begin with some general advice about writing:

WRITE MORE, DO OTHER STUFF LESS.

That's it. Everything else is meaningless. You can take all the classes in the world and read every book on the craft out there, but at the end of the day, writing is sorta like dieting. There are plenty of stupid fads out there and charlatans promising quick fixes, but if you want to lose weight, you have to exercise more and eat less. Period. Every writer has 10,000 pages of shit in them, and the only way your writing is going to be any good at all is to work hard and hit 10,001.

(And this isn't just some tired cliche, I believe that's a provable mathematical equation. I started writing five pages a day, every single day, when I began my senior year of high school. That means I hit 10,001 roughly a year after I graduated NYU, which was exactly when I pitched Y: THE LAST MAN to Vertigo. It took a lot of lousy writing to get there, but I'm glad I stuck with it. And don't worry, if you were busy actually having a life in high school and college, it's never too late to begin your march towards 10,001. Most writers don't do their best work until they're in their thirties and forties, anyway. Still, the clock is ticking, so maybe you old-timers should consider writing seven pages a day?)

Anyway, when people ask me for suggestions about writing, they're usually asking how to make it more fun. Well, writing might be fun for some people, but for most of us, it's an unholy nightmare. Writing is hard, lonely, frustrating work. I hate it more than just about anything in the world. Unfortunately, the thing I LOVE more than just about anything is HAVING WRITTEN, so I have to power through the misery to get to that sensation. For me, writing is like starting with six hours' worth of hangover to enjoy a few minutes of feeling drunk. It's a bizarre, unnatural way of life, and not everyone's cut out for it, but if you're born with this wonderful, terrible addiction, you'll recognize it soon enough.

(Oh, and "writer's block" is just another word for video games. If you want to be a writer, get writing, you lazy bastards.)

For those of you who've already figured out that you're writers, you're probably wondering if you can do it professionally. I used to be exactly like you. I desperately wanted to write comics, but I had no idea how to go about it. When I was a freshman at NYU (where I went to study film, since no universities offered courses on comics), I attended a Neil Gaiman signing, and asked Neil if he any advice for young writers. Now, I've talked to lots of other creators who've received pearls of wisdom from Mr. Gaiman over the years, and amazingly, they each got completely different--but equally life-changing--pieces of advice. It's like Neil has a mystical ability to look into a writer's eyes and tell him or her exactly what he or she needs to hear. (In other words, go bother him if my bullshit doesn't work for you.)

Anyway, Neil told me, "Go get published, because nothing will make you become a better writer faster than knowing that complete strangers are reading your horrible, horrible writing."

Now, on the surface, this is pretty crappy advice. How the hell is someone supposed to "go get published?" But as luck would have it, I happened to be in the exact right place at the exact right time.

When I was a sophomore at New York University in the film and dramatic writing program, I enrolled in a new elective called the Stanhattan Project (named after Stan Lee). A former Marvel editor named James "the Professor" Felder decided that he needed to look outside of comics for new talent, so he started this informal writing workshop at NYU to teach the ins and outs of the medium and the industry to young writers. James liked my work and threw me a little job or two to help get my foot in the door.

And yes, when I finally saw my first published work on the stands at Cosmic Comics in midtown Manhattan, I proudly started to reread my own writing, only to immediately experience the sense of horror and disgust Gaiman had warned me about a year earlier. That's when my career as a writer began.

I wish I could tell all of you to sign up for the Stanhattan Project, but sadly, it only lasted one short year. And that's the maddening thing about comics. It's not like becoming a dentist, where everyone attends the same amount of courses and takes the same kinds of tests to get where they want to be. No two people ever break into our medium in the same way.

Look at other "mainstream" writers. New WOLVERINE scribe Daniel Way got the attention of Dark Horse Comics editor Diana Schutz when he gave her a copy of a comic that he self-published with the help of a Xeric Grant (if you don't know what that is, get Googling). BIRDS OF PREY writer Gail Simone wowed major companies with the hilarious online humor column she did at Comic Book Resources. And ULTIMATE HULK VS. WOLVERINE writer Damon Lindeloff hooked up with Marvel after he co-created LOST, one of the hottest television shows of the last ten years. Three drastically different paths to breaking into "the majors," but all three writers have one thing in common: they were working their asses off while other wannabe creators were sitting at home, waiting for the phone to ring.

I think it was my pal Devin Grayson who first compared the industry to a medieval castle. As soon as one invader finds a way inside, that hole is immediately plugged. You'll need creativity and imagination to find your hole (heh), but if you didn't have those attributes, you wouldn't be trying to break in, now would you?

And trust me, breaking in is not half as hard as STAYING in. For every comic that came out with my name on it, there were a dozen pitches that never saw the light of day. When work slowed down, I tried to keep my skills sharp by writing other stuff, like short plays ( http://bkv.tv/pages/news.html ). When editors stopped returning my calls entirely, I started making my own comics. And when I couldn't even find artists willing to collaborate with me, I started creating graphic novels with photography ( http://bkv.tv/pages/news.html ).

In short, stop making excuses and start making art.

Finally, if and when you're ready to pitch your brilliant idea to someone, I suggest checking out this excellent site that someone from my message board (at www.bkv.tv ) recently posted, which lists every small to midlevel publisher out there that accepts unsolicited submissions, even if there's no artist attached to the project: http://comiccreatorservices.blogspot.com/

And if you're not sick of me yet, you can read more about my weird personal writing habits and rambling thoughts on the craft in the book WRITERS ON COMICS SCRIPTWRITING VOL. 2, which can be ordered from your local comics retailer, or online at: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1840238089/sr=8-4/qid=1141431390/ref=sr_1_4/103-0088650-9726248?_encoding=UTF8

Best of luck,
BKV