I love movies, but there is nothing worse then a bad movie. All that anticipation of getting to see a flick, then all you get is some Hollywood POS. These are, in my opinion, the worst movies I have ever seen. These are the movies I hate with a passion. These are the movies I wouldn't watch even if they paid ME to go see the movie.

And, if you don't agree with me, too damn bad. It's my opinion, and if you don't like it, go to someone elses blog. :P

Let's start at the top of the list...
MARS ATTACKS!

My least favorite film of ALL TIME! I mean, how the hell is it that this movie is bad? An all star cast including Jack Nicholson, Gleene Close, Danny DeVito, Pierce Brosnan, Sarah Jessica Parker, Natalie Portman, Jack Black, Pam Grier, and even Tom Freakin' Jones! Directed by Tim Burton! Yet somehow, together, it was a steaming bowl of monkey piss. I love  dark comedy as much as the next guy, but this movie jsut wasn't funny. I mean, I get the fact that all the lead cast members die in the movie, but the deaths weren't even funny. They were just...BLAH! I mean, I get that it is a parody of a true Sci-Fi movie movie, but they jsut tried so hard to make it seem serious that it basically BECAME serious. And the thought that so many people in the White House have to die for Portman to become President...what the hell? *Sigh* I just hate this movie on so many levels. On to the next one before my blood pressure gets too high...

BATMAN AND ROBIN

I'll be blunt. If you liked this movie, YOU ARE NOT A REAL COMIC BOOK FAN! This was the Worst batman movie ever made, and was definitly the Worst Comic-Book movie ever made. *Sigh* Where to start? Mr. Freeze in bunny slippers? Cher from Clueless as Batgirl? Homoerotic undertones up the wa-zoo? The Bat-Charge Card? "Keep Cool, Batman!"? Despite a par performace by Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy, this film should have never been made, it should never be seen, and all copies of it should be loaded into a rocket and fired into the sun.

SON OF THE MASK

It's funny. For a time, Sequels were really starting to kick ass. Spider-Man 2. X2: X-Men united. It actually seemed as if the Sequel curse was finally broken. WRONG! Along comes Son of the Mask; the follow up to the Mask that seemed to lack Jim Carrey, Cameron Diaz, and everything else that made the first film...you know...good. Jamie Kennedy (who I like to call "Backround; no foreground; background.") stars as the latest incarnation of the Mask, a man who did the dirty love with his wife while wearing the Mask of Loki, causing his son to become a weird as hell sideshow freak. After the kid is born, the family dog puts on the Mask and tries to whack the kid, leading to some of the sickest (the bad kind) CGI you will ever see. There is also stuff about loki and Odin, but honestly, it really stops mattering at one point.

JOHNNY ENGLISH

Oh good! A secret agent parody movie! Thank god! It's not as if we haven't gotten any of those yet. *Sigh* I saw this movie (barely) only once, so I can't quite remember the plot, but it's something about the guy who plays Mr. Bean trying to save the Crown Jewels, or save the Queen, or protect London, or some crap like that, then he mucks it up because he's an idot and blah blah blah blah, aw go and rent Austin Powers and pretend this movie was never even created...

DEAD AND BREAKFAST

Dubbed "The US Answer to Shaun of the Dead". Now, if you have read any of my previous blogs, you know how much I love Shaun of the Dead. This movie WASN'T Shaun of the Dead. Now, on my list, this is one of the only movies that I won't really call a "bad" movie. it just wasn't my style. I like my horror-comedys to be an actual true horror flick in which funny things happen, but this movie just didn't seem to know what to be. Some parts were overly gory fun. Some parts were...just stupid (the friend turned zombie who sings about wanting to kill his friends. Um...what?). So this movie is only on my list because I really expected more from the US answer to Shaun of the Dead in so many ways.

WES CRAVEN'S NEW NIGHTMARE

Freddy Freddy Freddy. *Shakes head in shame.* With the exception of Freddy vs. Jason, this flick can be labeled under "quit while you are ahead". In this movie that takes place in the "real world" where Freddy Krueger is nothing more then the character in the Nightmare movies, we follow Heather Langenkamp in the real  world portraying herself as Freddy (the real Freddy) begins stalking her and her young son in their Nightmares because he is out for revenge against the character she plays...in the fictional reality of the film...because Freddy is real...and wants to kill the actress who plays his---okay, this film honestly does make a damn lick of sense to me, so just be glad that Freddy vs. Jason at least made sense.