Eric Update: Day # 134 in prison

4.4.07

A letter from Eric

It has been some time since I have been able to get word out to tell everyone
supporting me how I am doing and what is happening from my perspective.

I'm in a maximum-security prison about 20 minutes outside of the capital city
of Managua called "La Modelo." My mother has established a good relationship
with the warden and he has been very kind, allowing me to visit with her and
my step-father on a regular basis. As you can imagine, these visits have been
invaluable in terms of being brought up to speed on all that is taking place
as a result of my conviction. I have received a complete update on what is
happening around the globe on my behalf. The amount of support and energy
going into freeing me from this injustice is simply incredible. From a grass
roots MySpace campaign, letters to senators, international media, people
praying and fasting, YouTube video, and all the awesome letters of
encouragement and support, my sprits are greatly lifted and my strength has
been miraculously restored. Your all are breathing for me! THANK YOU ALL FOR
GETTING MY BACK ON THIS ONE!!! I'm eternally grateful and feel like the
richest man on earth!

I have worn a small thread necklace with 2 small square ornaments for the last
5 years without every taking it off. In a very mystical experience, a priest
in Jalisco, Mexico, gave it to me. He told me as long as I took care of the
necklace it would protect me. I grew superstitious of the piece and felt like
it provided me with some sort of divine protection. I know it might sound
silly to some, but I figured it was a harmless fantasy. It has survived 5
years of doing what guys do and the thing is still there as strong as ever.
Needless to say, it really freaked me out when on my third day in prison after
my arrest I noticed that one of the ornaments had fallen off. It was a sure
sign that what lay ahead was not going to be pretty. After over 130 days in
prison my necklace has taken a beating like never before. The water we have to
bathe in seems to have somehow discolored the thread.

Last week after I was told about all that was being done on my behalf, I came
back to my cell glowing, and decided I would restore the necklace. I utilized
a combination of candle wax, the tag from my Nike gym shorts, some yellow
thread and needle. It is not as 'stylee' as before, but it has taken on a new
life, as have I, and symbolizes my life force in the face of this new chapter.

The best analogy I have come across for being locked up here is that it's like
being buried alive. It is like having a cave collapse around you leaving just
enough room to breathe and touch your toes. At first you are shocked and
terrified. Time and space come to mean something totally different than before.
You sleep a lot in the beginning. It is almost like a body function similar
to hibernation that activates to deal with the extreme trauma. When you are
asleep, you're not imprisoned.

The physical and mental claustrophobia sets in hard and never lets up. I
reached a point where I had no choice but to turn and face it, let it cut
deeply, let if ferment, and then I was able to transcend the new references of
time and space. At this point it becomes a state of mind called "doing time."

I have buried myself in books, I meditate and pray, I live in my head and feel
very centered. My spirits rise and fall. I refuse to join a gang. I maintain
my independence and only socialize when I exercise and play soccer in the
gallery. Despite the hardship and loss of freedom, I am developing. I'm
developing in ways that would not be possible unless I was walking this path.
I see this as a test; a rite of passage. I will not be defeated and I will see
each and every one of you on the free side.

A friend asked in a letter, "Where are you pulling your strength from?" The
answer is - all of you are my strength. The prayers, the campaigns, the
letters, the movement - without you I would be lost.

I send my deepest and purest love to every person that had read these lines.

Eric V.
Tipitapa, Nicaragua