I believe that one of the biggest reasons that we, as Christian girls, struggle with the issue of longing for marriage more than God is because we don't know how to fall in love with God. We have been taught how to obey and please God, but we do not know how to grow in our love for Him and fall deeper in love with the character of our Creator.

Consider this analogy:

My husband Jimmy and I are walking along the beach at sunset holding hands. From the outside, this appears to be a romantic relationship. But let's say that during this whole walk along the beach, I am not thinking of Jimmy, but of a guy in one of my classes. I think about what he said to me today, how he looked, the way he treats people, and how much I am looking forward to seeing him the next day. Anyone would say that that is wrong, it is emotional infidelity, emotional lust. Although it looks as though I am in love with Jimmy to everyone else, I am doing all the right things to look like I'm in love with Jimmy, my heart is set on someone else. This is exactly what we have done in our relationship with God! We know what to do to look like we are passionate about God, about our Lord Jesus: we talk about Him, we memorize scripture, and we attend Bible studies and things that are about Him. But our hearts are set on something else: usually marriage, a relationship with a man here on earth.


Our hearts long to be in a passionate, consuming, loving relationship; we were created for this. So when we do not find this fulfilling relationship in God, we naturally look for it in other things: mainly guys. This is a terrible situation here, because what is our GREATEST commandment? To "love the Lord you God with all your heart, all your mind, all your soul, and all your strength" (Mark 12:29-30)!! Not simply love God more than everything else, not just put God first in your daily activities, but LOVE HIM PASSIONATELY!! What does it mean to love someone with all your heart? To love someone with all your mental capacity? To love someone with your whole being? With all the strength that you have within you? That is a passionate love!

But all we know to do is to please God, how to do the things that He would want us to do, how to look like we are passionate about Him. But our hearts are set on something we perceive to be more passionate. Let me ask you this? As Jimmy and I are walking along the beach, do you think that he is more interested in me simply doing what pleases him, or in me getting to know him and falling in love with him and then in turn doing things that make him happy because I love him dearly? The latter choice of course! No one wants to be in a relationship where their spouse is only there to serve them.

In the same way, it is a good thing to do and learn what pleases God, but what is our GREATEST COMMANDMENT? "To love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your soul, and with all your strength." Do this and love your neighbor as yourself and Jesus said that "all the law and the prophets hang on these commands." (Matt 22:40). Every other thing, every other command in the Bible falls under this one! We have been taught backwards. We have been taught how to do so many things that look like we are passionate about God and somehow fall in love with Him in the process. Instead, let us seek God with all our hearts, and learn about Him, get to know Him, and fall in love with Him, and NATURALLY we will desire to serve Him, because we love Him.

But this concept of falling in love with God seems so unattainable, doesn't it? How do you fall in love with God anyway? Here are a few practical things that have helped me to fall in love with the person of God. They honestly look a lot like what you would do with a guy if you were dating him. I pray that they would help you to fall deeper in love with who God is as well.

~Journaling: I write out my thoughts to God alot. That's what you would do with a guy if you were dating him and getting to know him: you would tell him what's on your heart. So do the same with God. I really like writing because it helps me to not daydream while I'm praying and to stay on one train of thought... kind of like if I were talking. Some of my best times with Jesus have been sitting outside with my journal and writing my thoughts about life, love, friends, God, guys, my struggles, my joys, to God himself. And I would pause in between to simply enjoy the beautiful scenery around me and think about how God made everything I see with his own hands.

~Think about God: This is one thing we do with guys so easily but not with God. We think about guys, we dwell on thoughts about them. Spend some time thinking about God, how He is the Maker of who you are, the Creator of the World, the one who saved you from eternal damnation. The reason that I am scared of conflict is because of Him, the reason that I love to play violin is because of Him, the reason that I hate cantaloupe (haha) is because of Him.... He created all my ins and outs and its so fun to think about why He did and why He thought I would be most beautiful to Him if He made me this way. Think about the way He cares so much for you that He sent Jesus to die to make a way for you to be with Him. If you can even set aside 15 minutes each day to just "day dream" about God, that is a start.

~Meditate on and memorize scripture: One of the best ways to really think on the things of God and on him is by memorizing scripture because it is so powerful! If you can find a couple verses that remind you of how much God cares for you and loves you, then try to memorize them, or write them on note cards to carry in your purse. Then you can read them each time you feel lonely or unloved or like you need a guy and ask God to make himself real to you that day. Some of my favorite verses are Psalm 139:17-18 (well all of Psalm 139 really).

~ASK! and you shall receive:
God says to ask and you will receive (matt 7:7) but so often we don't ask! So when you think about it, just say a quick prayer, a specific prayer, to ask God to reveal himself to you in a new way that day, or to speak to you through the Bible, or to help you fall in love with him, etc. You will be surprised how much asking does... =)

These are just a few ways I have found that truly help me to connect with the Lord in a deep way and provide avenues to fall in love with Him. But these are definitely not the only ways! I have friends who paint or write poetry to connect to God, and girls who sit outside in silence to study God's creation. If you know of other things that have helped you to truly experience God in a fresh way, that cause you to fall more in love with Him, and that help you to get to know Him better, please post it as a comment for this blog so that other's who read this can benefit from it!

Lord God, I pray that you would reveal yourself in a new and fresh way to all who read this so that they might fall more in love with who you are and be able to count all things a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing YOU! Amen.