(This had just been a bulletin, but then i realized it was SO INCREDIBLE that I must save it forever as a blog post. ENJOY!)


I was sitting here thinking of questions to ask myself. But then I realized that'd require a lot of creative effort for which I wouldn't get paid. So I wandered over to the Google wondering if there was a Random Question Generator out there. Turns out, there is.*

What a wonderful time we live in where you don't even have to think of questions to ask yourself!


1. Are you prepared to die?

Well, no. Ideally I'd like my apartment to be cleaned up and all my stuff sorted out before I died. But that doesn't keep me awake at night.


2. Are you being watched?

I doubt it but I've always liked to pretend I am being watched. So I will occasionally turn and wave or talk to the spot where I think a camera would be hid. Why not? It's not like anyone can see me doing it.
Or can they?


3. Are you cool?

I really don't care...Which in my book is more or less how I define cool.


The actual definition of "cool" in my book is "Someone who doesn't care if others think he or she is cool. And they wear cool sunglasses."

Huh. I had no idea I was so friggin' cool.
Thanks Random Question Generator!



4. Can you explain to me why we need mufflers on spaceships?

I could but you wouldn't be able to hear me over the noise of this Space Shuttle passing overhead.


Actually some have cited the existence of mufflers on the Space Shuttle as our most definite proof that the Government is in contact with aliens because who else would be complaining about the noise? Angels? Angels can't fly in space you idiot!



5. Did aliens build the pyramids?

This idea is an insult to humankind. But it also implies an alien race that really isn't so advanced. The pyramids are really just piles of rocks...Well constructed and neat looking, but it's still just piles of rocks. You'd think aliens would have made something super bizarrely cool...Like a giant rotating disco ball or a 1000 lane bowling alley.




7. Are commercials effective?

I don't know. There's a new book which cites research sponsored by the Broadcast & Print Media Coalition that proves advertising is effective. But all I know is unless you're a band I like or a bar with a happy hour most advertising means nothing to me. I know that a new car, cologne, or shampoo will not change my life.


But an iPod® could make packing for a trip a lot easier.
CDs are such a hassle!

And with zero calories and no caffeine Fresca™ gives me refreshment I can believe in!

Oh, hold on, I'm getting a call on my Nokia™ phone...Wow! This New AT&T connection is so clear!

Huh. My friend Dave just called and said archaeologists in Egypt have found the ancient remains of what appears to be a giant mirrored ball of some sort.




8. Is it a girl?

It's a boy. It'll be my second nephew and they're gonna name him Rowen. I think they picked "Rowen" because they believe playground bullying builds character.




9. Can I grow up to be just like you?

It's unadvised. In fact I am currently the guy they use in a Washington State Board of Education "STAY IN COLLEGE!" poster campaign.
The line under my image says "Can you believe this guy thinks he's cool? Look at his stupid sun glasses! Stay in school!"



10. Has anyone ever actually used a collectible?

If it's a "collectibles" and someone collects it then it is being used for the very reason it was designed. And also it fills the hole in the collector's souls which would otherwise be a gaping pit of loneliness and cat hair.




11. Does God really play with dice?

I think you're referring the Einstein quote "I, at any rate, am convinced that He does not throw dice." That line is commonly paraphrased as "God does not play dice with the universe."

Oddly in this case Einstein was wrong and the masses are right as God does indeed throw dice, He just doesn't play dice with the Universe. Because the Universe cheats.

When God points out to the Universe that He, God, knows the Universe is cheating the Universe then lies about cheating. The Universe is not so smart.





*Ask me a question and I'll give you an answer you should question!

Or have the Random Question Generator ask you questions here: http://www. ctuniverse. net/Questiongame. html.