Temperature Conversion Chart


@ +70 degrees Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.
People in Oswego go swimming in Lake Ontario. 

@ +60 degrees North Carolinians try to turn on the heat. People in Oswego plant gardens.


@ +50 degrees Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Oswego sunbathe.


@ +40 degrees Italian & English cars won't start. People in Oswego drive with the windows down.


@ +32 degrees Distilled water freezes. Lake Ontario's water gets a little thicker.


@ +20 degrees Floridians put on coats, thermal underwear, gloves and woolly hats. People in Oswego throw on a flannel shirt.


@ +15 degrees Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Oswego have the last cookout before it gets cold.


@ +10 degrees People in Miami all die. Oswegonian's lick the flagpole.


@ 0 degrees Californian s fly away to Mexico. People in Oswego get out their winter coats.


@ -10 degrees Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Scouts in Oswego are selling cookies door to door.


@ -25 degrees Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Oswego Boy
Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.


@ -30 degrees Mount St. Helen's freezes. People in Oswego rent some videos.


@ -40 degrees Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Oswegonian's get
frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.


@ -45 degrees Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products. Cows in 
Oswego County complain about farmers with cold hands.


@ -60 degrees ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).
People in Oswego start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"


@ -100 degrees Hell freezes over. The Syracuse Orange win the National Championship in Football!