(To quote Casey Kasem): This is ponderous, man, this is fuckin' ponderous... (Yes, Mr. Top 40 really said that.)

The internet is a constantly changing world. As a hip old fucker who's pushing 40 I think I'm much more in tune with this evolving technology than most others of my age.

Since my site's inception (January of '06) I've had to re-teach myself a lot of shit to try and keep up with the latest trends and "cool" stuff, and it's no easy feat. I learned, from trial and error, how to edit java, embed pics and music, and upload vids to viral sites. I'm by far no "noob" but hardly "l33t" but I think I have a grasp, albeit a tenuous one, but a grasp nonetheless.

In my own delusional mind, because I follow current music and intrests of the next gen, I had thought I was somewhat "in touch" with these new 20-somethings of this age of www(dot)everything(dot)com. (I'm not sure if clicking on that will take you anywhere...)

Face it, I challenge any of you to find anyone over the age of 30 who knows about 2girls1cup, The Shins, and know what what a MMORPG is. See... I'm "down with it".

The other day I was messaging a few of my hotties to see how they were doing. (I do that on occasion. If they were cool enough to add me, I feel responsible for their happiness and well being.) After getting a few responses it dawned on me... I have no goddamn clue as to what a lot of them were saying! Don't get me wrong, I was able to see they had things to say, but the way it was said  it took me a while to decypher it.

I think that I can hold my own in a conversation. A little give and take. A tete-a-tete if you will. But if I were to "chat" with any of these little minkies I know I would be in waaay over my head. Here's how I think it would play out:

Me: Hi!

Shniz21: sup

Me: Um... nothing? How ya doin'?

Shniz21: jst chilln 2 my jamz

(Ah... She's listening to music!)

Me: Cool. I just uploaded my newest vid. Seen it yet?

Shniz21: nah. ben 2 bzy cuz im messging my bf for the weeknd. saw ur othr 1. ur fuckn funny!

(Ok... This might take a minute... She's been too busy? Messaging her boy friend or best friend for....)

Shniz21: u there?

Me: Oh! Yeah, I was reading your message. What is "bf"?

Shniz21: rly? wtf. ur jokng rt?

(I got "really" and who doesn't know "What The Fuck" . Scrolling up to read it again when)

Shniz21: why u chatn wit nutin 2 say?

Me: Sorry. I'm trying to get the gist of what you said.

Shniz21: wtf isa gist? wht u wanna say? u IMed me!

(Now I realize I can't pause to decrypt anything so I have to wing it.)

Me: Just chillin' out. Wanted to see how you were doi

Shniz21: h'lo? u there? this shts stupd

Me: No no! I was typing when you interu

Shniz21: fuk off! LAME

Shniz21 is no longer available for chat.

Yep, I can see that happening. It all makes sense now. When my boys are IMing all I hear is rapid fire clickety-clacking behind me on their keyboard. I had just thought they were adept typists. Nope, they were conversing with their friends in this new "young speak" dialog that apparently comes naturally to anyone under the age of 25.

Fuck. Now here's yet another thing I have to learn from scratch. Like my man Casy Kasem said... Fuckin' ponderous!

To my young hotties I'll try to close using your native tongue:

hey!  ur kewl. um... ahsd2 wddh qw';lk wjer882 {q00p} koo +ipi yes? Blumpkin!

Marc(o)