Happy New Year! The fog is lifting. Last week's birth of the Sun (or, as some interpret it, birth of the son) and the passing of the Long Night's Moon have rekindled my spirit. December was a month of a raging unconscious and the reflection that naturally accompanies the earthward turning of the darkness - and the holidays. Now that the New Year is nearly official, I feel the momentum of the wheel surge beneath my seat. The city has felt quiet today, but now the buzz is growing, stirring - kind of like a hospital corridor as we await delivery of a newborn. I feel anxious and hopeful... and excited because I am seeing Patti Smith in an hour.

Therefore I'm going to get right to my resolutions. I make (and break) resolutions every day of my life, but here are a few very doable ones that I'll post up here for integrity. (I'll probably add and amend post-Patti.) Part of me feels like New Years' is just any other day, and part of me recognizes the importance of celebrating this time-marker. Kind of like the mix that was in the stereo of my car when I went home to my mom's house last week - I had made this mix in December 2002 and sure, some things in my life are similar to that girl's life - I had just moved to NYC and Phish had just reunited - but otherwise it was like listening to the mix of a stranger. I didn't even recognize most of the songs until the vocals entered. That girl's country wasn't six years into war, that girl hadn't moved cross-country (twice), that girl hadn't changed schools (thrice), that girl's planet had six years less pollution, that girl hadn't toured or even performed.... As time spirals on, it's important to pause in those coils and take note of growth and changes of direction. So here's my resolution-mixtape for 2009:

1. REST. This includes but is not limited to SLEEP.
2. Read less (see 1).
3. No more swearing. For real. It is so unattractive and it creates nothing beautiful or useful, though it can be fun sometimes.
4. Improve my French. Return to France.
5. Finally organize the 5000+ tour pictures clogging my hard drive and share them with you.
6-10. Tend to my works-in-progress - the 24 GB of music and 519 pages also clogging my hard drive - and share them with you. After I whittle them down of course.

1. I've made a lot of progress on the first - making room for quiet - in 2008. This fall I started to count my hours of sleep a week, with a goal of 56 (or an 8 hour/night average). It took me a couple months to hit 50 (at first I wasn't even clearing 40) and now I'm pretty even. Also, during the day, when I find myself beginning to spiral too quickly I lie down for 20 minutes or so. It helps my focus. And if I'm out in the city, rather than lie down on the sidewalk, I pop into a church, library, or other quiet space. Today I was walking by Grace Church (so beautiful and it always reminds me of Jeff Buckley) during the horizontal snow storm and the sign prescribed just the thing I was looking for:



You don't have to be Christian to visit churches, just quiet and respectful. I do not follow religions, but I follow my spirit and it is often attracted to sacred spaces - there's something remarkable about entering a place where so many people have cast their prayers/wishes/hopes/spells/thanks. I find the echoes of those spirits very inspiring. But I guess that's why those words share the same root - spirare (oh yes, I must remember to breathe, too). Three Jewels Dharma Center near Astor Place welcomes visitors to use their rooms for meditation practice when classes aren't in session. They also have some great books... which I am not reading.



2. My vow to read less also has to do with nurturing the silence and creating space in my life. In 2008 I cut out all television, which was no great feat because the truth is that I've never liked TV. However, books are a different story (yuk yuk). My goal for 2009 is, once I'm all caught up on the 20+ I'm currently reading, I will only read two books (three tops) at one time. Right now I feel like books are draining me, rather than inspiring. I think it's because my energy is too scattered - I'm reading about Kabbalah one minute, pesticides the next, the autobiography of a yogi, Neil Young, Canyon de Chelly, human energy systems, Nietzsche, short stories, Greek mythology, deep-sea exploration - it's all related somehow, but enough is enough. I've cut down on my movie-viewing, too, but I am most definitely seeing Wendy and Lucy, Waltz With Bashir, and Slumdog Millionaire in the next couple weeks.

3 & 4 are self-explanatory. Swearing is ugly. French is beautiful.

5. I recently changed my screen saver to a random slideshow of my picture files. In a 60-second collage I saw flashes of places I had forgotten - an unexpected sunset at a canyon in Southern Utah, a particularly funky motel outside Houston, a park in California where I apparently took a hike. I want to sort through these before I lose them, like I recently lost 4GB of music files, one of the flash drives I carry around with me.



6-10. Which leads me to my final resolutions - to clear out all of these works-in-progress and make room for the new! I love writing songs more than anything. However when it comes to practicing and learning the new songs I tend to procrastinate... a lot. Maybe this is residue from years of classical violin training. I do not like to practice. But I really like some of these new songs and I want you to hear them before I lose another flash drive. (Wow, I said I love, I like, and I do not like a lot in this paragraph - maybe I should resolve to be less judgmental and just shut up and play). I'll be posting new songs over at Golden Delicious in the very near future.

However in the even nearer future I am going to see Patti! Be safe and best wishes for 2009!