iight dats wassup waitin 2 see wats goin on
 

I WILL BE WATCHING THE NEW SEASON.



I HAVE DRIVE AND DESIRE TO CHANGE THE SOUND OF URBAN AND POP MUSIC.


MUSIC FROM: THE DREAM, LIL WAYNE, JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, JAY-Z, RYAN LESLIE, LLYOD, TIMBALAND, BUSTA RHYMES, T.I., RICH BOY ETC..

Prod. by Fyu-chur (future)


CONTACT ME.
 

* * * * WORK WITH ME MR. COMBS!!! * * * *

MUST LOVE AND RESPECT!

COATS4KIDS™ PROJECT 2008

~SoNIa~
 

i cant wait for the new season!!!
 

THIZ IZ WHAT I'VE BEEN WAITING 4, TV WORTH WATCHING!!! MY REMINDER IZ ALREADY SET N MY PHONE 4 THE SEASON SO THAT I DON'T MISS AN EPISODE!!!!!! C YA 2NITE!!!!!!

DIDDY ROCK'N ALL NYTE LONG!!!!
~1~*LUV 2*

DIDDY, DAY26(I'm 9-26),DANITY CANE, & THE CAST & CREW

WE READY!!!!!!!!!! WE READY!!!!!!!!!! WE READY!!!!!!!!!! WE READY!!!!!!!!!! WE READY!!!!!!!!!!

AND
EVERYBODY
WORLDWIDE,
LET'S
REMEMBER

"NO"
"BITCHASSNESS"
"ALLOWED"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
****BITCHES*****
 

AM I IN THIS ONE?
 

that my favorite show on mtv
 

is the season gonna show when Danity Kane went on tour in San Jose, California on June 12th
 

Cool.

Thanks for holding our hands and guiding us with each step of this "production" Diddy.

In the past, I couldn't really "get to" watching "Making the Band" all the time, but with all these "reminders," it will be easier for me, and now, I feel dedicated to watching all your "shows" even if they don't "really" interest me. I know I really loved the Making the Band first year or whatever, but then, when it had gotten to "Danity Kane," I had lost interest, just wasn't into it...I don't even know if I will be into it with this season, but, since I love you so much and since we are doing OUR Lord's work, I will break my neck to see this show tomorrow night.

Keep reminding us, though, please, like even give us a five minute notification, just say, hey, Making the Band 4 is coming on in five minutes...hurry, CATCH IT! :)

Also, THANK YOU so much for bringing DONNIE into my LIFE!

Ha ha.

I have grown to love him SO MUCH! Ha ha ha!

The more I watch your "Take You There," vid, the more I grow to love both him and you, and seriously, the first time I ever watched that vid, I thought fo sure! that I would NEVER watch that vid again in my ENTIRE lifetime, but, now, it seems like that vid will be bringing me great joy and happiness even 20 years from now, when I will be 63-years-old, hope it's always going to be accessible to me...OH, that vid is SO FUNNY.

At the grocery store yesterday, I purchased some more of the "Cool Whip" in the bottle, I hadn't purchased the Cool Whip in the bottle before, becuase it's new, I had purchased this other brand that really GOOD, but I couldn't find that brand again at the store, so, I had to settle on "Cool Whip," but that's cool, as I had ALWAYS LOVED Cool Whip as a child, it was my FIRST LOVe whenm it came to cool whip, so, I'm glad that "Cool Whip" is back in my life. I will never it go AGAIN! :) Well, last night, my son wanted to make himself a chocolate ice cream sundae, so, he puts the chocolate ice cream in a bowl, then, pours chocolate syrup over it, and as he was putt the cool whip on top, he shook it first, but, not really hard, and I yelled at him something like, "Not like that, you got to SHAKE IT HARD! Like Diddy does!" Ha ha ha! So, he starts shaking the bottle harder, and I was yelling at him, "Harder, Harder, as hard as you can!" He was shaking it so hard! !!! I was dying!

Oh well, so, I will try to catch this new "makin' the band," and I will definitely try to catch Donnie afterwards, I don't have a clue as to what God will have me ask Donnie, but, it should really be something else!

Oh well, my son wants to go to Target store right now, with his one friend, I guess I will have to drive him there...but he keeps bugging me about it, and I keep telling him that I have "to put panties" on first! :)! I will have to stick up for my lil sis, Britney and admit that when I wear "long" flimsy dresses sometimes, that I don't always put my panties back .. sex with my hubby either, and yes, I even run out to the conveniece store pantiless sometimes, I am trying not to do that though and I am trying at this point to definitely make sure I put some panties .. I take my son to the Target store, if I ever do decide to take him, but, really, us girls don't wear panties sometimes because we don't feel like "wasting" panties all the time, we never want to put DIRTY panties on, so, when the lingerie drawer is getting low on panties, it's like we try to "conserve" and wait till after our "shower" to put fresh panties on, it's a hard knock life sometimes, Lord have Mercy, Christ have Mercy, on us!

I will have to do laundry and fill my panty drawer back up soon, or else, see if they have any "silky" panties at Target for me to purchase when I go, I'll figure something out. I think I have about 2 pairs of panties left in my lingerie right now, but I know I have to stop looking at life as "lack" and instead, look at it as abundant, and NEVER go outside the house again without panties on unless I'm wearing a bikini! Ha ha ha!

God love us, sometimes it can seem like nobody else does.

I will teach Donnie how to be the best "boyfriend" in the world, giving his girls "gifts" of panties. :) My first piece of advice would be to make sure you know your girls panty size though, probably, don't know how you'd do that in a "classy" way, just try to "estimate" maybe?

I don't want to let my son to have entrance to a "disco" unless he is wearing a "uniform," has his "diary/journal" with him, "his prayer book," and I don't know what all else. :)

Oh well, I'd better shut up now.

Catch you guys later,

Carolina
 

I can't wait see new season Making The Band 4 tomorrow night at 9:00 p.m.
 

BadBoy 4 Life ! ! ! ! !
 

CAN'T WAIT 2 C IT!!!
 

When's it on the the UK?! I hate waiting for it and then when it's on it goes too quickly. It should be on all year, every day, thanks!! lol

Take care x
 

I Can't Wait
 

how can i get on your show,from stockton 209
 

I WILL BE THERE WATCHING
 

That's great can't wait to watch! TRACI
 

Hi Diddy,

I have to write the continuation of my latest comment to you in here, they won't let me flood your page anymore, here it is:

There is SO much that I have to do now, maybe I couldn't work for you as your secretary at the White House after all? I have too many HOMEmaking responsibilities to see to, it seems? That would have been cute though, you should give away "one day" jobs. Work a day for Diddy! :) I would love to work as your secretary for at least just one day :)! I would be efficient as HELL! :)!

I would love to drive by myself to WDC and back home too, being the career woman, driving to my job and then back home, ha ha, just a part time job, lol, I don't really like full time jobs, I don't think?

I think I'm cutting my son off, not giving him money anymore. He doesn't save or invest his money and yesterday, he really disappointed me as he bought a game at the Game Stop and then when he got outside, he threw the change down the sewer! Just like he was throwing change into a wishing well!

I have been not the best of mothers, he may be getting a paper route next year, and I will give him a generous allowance, but that's it, probably, I'm getting tired of fulfilling all this child's desires, I need to teach him to start fulfilling his own desires, I guess?

God bless you Diddy boy, I love you, now and forevermore!

Carolina waitin' 4 ya!

;)

Cheers!
 

I SURE WILL WATCH START N NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
 

Dear Diddy,

Well, I went to Donnie's sight, don't know if it's tonight he's talking with peeps or tomorrow night, but, I thought it was tonight, however, I could not connect to his Meebo. I always a problem connecting to those rooms.

Oh well, I tried.

I guess my first question to Donnie boy would have been...

"What is your middle name?"

?

Take care, God bless, and love always,

Caralina from Pennsylvania, I have to go now, son is pulling me to take him to the convenience store to get some milk? :)

Ciao!
 

I NEVER thought God would EVER have me purchase your alcoholic beverage! NEVER. But the time has come, I guess, where he wants me to purchase your drink? Guess I'll go to the spirits store in the outdoor shopping mall near my house, hope they sell it there? I think hubby gets paid tomorrow :) so i should be able to get it tomorrow? oh well, thanks for the recipe with the lemonade and the drink, i like recipes, guess I'll show my son how to make that, but, i pray he never sips the drink, i will warn him good, i just pray he doesn't sneak a sip, but if he does, i know everything will work out okay anyway. god bless caroline
 

Keep doing yall thang!<p>Kita Kat
 

Dear Diddy, Well, I've been looking for that one page I had for you, the MySpace page where you shared your pics and comments, but, I couldn't find it, even though I even checked slowly through all my friends on MySpace. I began to think then, that "you don't want to be found?" So, I will try not to run to you anymore, HOWEVER, I just had to write just right. Had to tell SOMEBODY! what I want to say! My son keeps making me laugh! We are here in my living room, my son, his one white boy friend who is a little older than him, and two of my son's cousins from my hubby's side of the family. They "were" playing guitar hero, basically, but, son keeps singing, every now and then...."I wanna make luv in this pub!" ! I just make me laugh so much! If I would tell my husband this, my hubby would probably yell at me and get super irritated and hate me and everything else in the book! But, you are the only I know who would understand what makes me laugh all the time! :) I tried to leave this as a comment on your main page, but they said I was still flooding, so, I had to come here. I will keep trying not to bother you though, however, they did just turn guitar hero off, turned the tv off, and son put FM97 my local radio station on, and they played that song "CALIFONIA Knows HoW To Party," ha ha, whatever, lol, and my son starts dancing and singing it, Ha ha! So, now, they aren't playing Guitar hero anymore, and the tv is finally "dark screen" for the first time in a long time, that's great! The music is sort of loud, and they are playing the song "Shake, shake, shake...if she does it like this, will you do it like that!" It's a party atmosphere in here now, I am having a blast. Hope you are too. God love u, and I always will too, even if you sometimes don't want people bothering to love u. :)! Okay, I will try my BEST to leave you alone now, BUT, I just had to TELL SOMEONE! how my son is making me die with laughter by singing "I want to make love in this pub," every now and then throughout the day! :) God bless you and your mother and all the loves of your mad life :)! Just kdding, you aren't mad, I'm not mad, nobody is mad. God bless, Carolina
 

Dear Diddy, Well, it looks like I will have to keep bugging you whether you like it or not! Lol. I think it's God's will? I have SO much to tell you, don't know where to begin, seems easy to just forget about it all and not tell. Lol. But, I know I have to tell. Lol. ! I think from now on, I will just come here to write to you and leave you comments, instead of using the main, it's easier that way for me, and besides, there will be recording of what I write, ALL that I write, on the internet, if I use your blog instead of the front comment page. Well, it's 8:22 p.m. EST, I guess? Who the HELL really knows, though, lol! My husband apparently just left for "Karate" a gym, Planet Fitness, up the street from my house. His Karate classes/whatever, are supposed to only last an hour, but, I don't know when he will return to me? Apparently, hubby worked his butt off all day today, a 12 hour stint at his job at the world's largest Aluminum plant, and then he came home and did some outdoor work, like mowing and what not. He was really miserable with me it seems and angry with me, I don't know what all is going on in his mind. I am watching my son, and two cousins from my husband's side of the family who are about my son's age, there is another boy here at my house, a white boy, who is older than my son and he has been a GREAT help to me all day, looking after the younger kids for me, he is like a big bro to Tyler now and I communicate A LOT to this boy, this boy is very Christian, and I'm so glad today that I got his MySpace account, he is like a second son to me for sure, he will help me raise my son! In turn, too, I can also help this boy. I'm glad "he's a part of the family," Lol. Now. Very smart kid. I am really having a blast being a matriarch of my family, I must admit, it's fun? The only problem is dealing with my husband, but? I'll just have to pray harder that me and my husband can connect and that he can start to learn to appreciate me, and maybe even me appreciate him more, and try to understand. Who the HELL knows? I think my hubby is "done" with me though, and that he has been for many years now. He thinks I'm loco? He's always getting angry and yelling "I'm Done!" I told him the other day in the car, "let's face it, you've been "done" with a long time ago, let's be honest." :) Oh well, I will keep trying to do what the Lord wants me to do as a wife, work my butt off to try to please him, take care of our family, both immediate, me, son and hubby, and extended. And even God's entire world family. I will keep serving my husband, slaving for my husband, trying to make him happy, and "maybe" even wear some "makeup" on my face for him? It's so difficult for me to even attempt to wear "makeup" however, lol, when I was in my youth, I remember I would stand before the bathroom mirror and spend like ten minutes or MORE? brushing "black mascara" onto my eyelashes? It was so "normal" for me to do? Didn't think anything of it. At my age of 43, now, however, I can't even begin to imagine taking the time out of my precious life to do such a silly thing! :)! I will probably have to try though, as I do want to be "pleasing to my husband's eye," no matter what it takes, I guess? Oh well, I fed the kids pretty good today, they had all sorts of chicken, lol, hot wings, roast chicken, leg quarters, fried chicken (wasn't too good of fried chicken though, from the grocery store, guess I will HAVE to learn how to make real homemade fried chicken, lol, I just can't believe all the stuff I have to do and learn!) They had good frozen buttered corn, garlic bread, french bread, applesauce, and there were a million and one other kinds of food here for them to choose from. I told them if they want something to drink, to just go into the fridge and get something. I was telling my son in previous weeks, when he asked me to get a drink for him sometimes, GYOD! Get your own drink! Lol. I absolutely LOVE serving my son, but whem the crowd grows to more five people, I think it's time for a matriarch to yell GYOD! Oh well, the kids are here with me now, 4 in total, son and his two cousins and the older white kid :) I tell them that I love them every so often, they are playing Xbox right now, and one is still at the dining room table grubbing. They are happy and content, it seems? I'm okay too, just worried about my husband and confused. Apparently, I "feel" he committed adultery on me, because someone told me that, but, hubby denies it, yet it's still so hard for me because when someone tells you a thing such as that, it's very easy to believe. So, I don't know? I can see just why "though shalt not commit adultery," is a ten commandment though! Geesh! Oh well, what I think I came here to write to about really, is about your "Vodka?" Lol! I have a BIG story to tell about that. Like I said, I don't even really feel like writing about it, but, I know I should, probably, I think it is God's will... I will just look at this life of mine, sort of like going to school, you had to write those long term papers, even though you didn't really want to, and you got by, and got it all done, eventually, and I'll probably be able to get all this darn writing I have been called by God, I feel, to do, done, it will just take a while, but the music keeps me going and God keeps me going and everything and everyone else in the Universe keeps me going, so, I'd better not complain. With that said, I think I'm going to take it easy on myself, and not write about the "Vodka" story right now. It is such a great, and funny/hilarious story to tell, that I think I'll wait till later so I can really tell the story good, with the many details included that made it so funny! OH, horrid and funny and embarrassing things happened to me today, that I didn't EVEN know about! LOL! If my husband knew! He'd probably divorce me in an instant! NOW, I can see as to why he gets SO embarrassed! Ha ha! OH! I wish I could drive you around in my car in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, to show you everything, It is SO funny! Then, we'd have to go into Philadelphia area, and eventually, I know we will have to go into WDC and NYC area too, then maybe even drive cross country, passing through Ohio and Michigan and into Califonia, lol. OH! I am a mystic and I can "see" things that many peeps can't see, but thankfully, now, other people are beginning to see the things I'm able to see too, so, I'm not so alone anymore, but now, because of this episode I allowed myself to go in today, just to "prove a point,"...well, I can SEE now as to why my husband is embarrassed of me! I would write about the most embarrassing thing that happened to me today, but, I don't wanna! My son is the one that caught it and told me about it, it was about the way I was dressed and "what was showing" :)! Me and son died laughing, and it was funny for me, but it's horribly embarrassing! My son got a little embarrassed by me today, from the dumbest thing, taking EVERYTHING in perspective, he was embarrassed because I was busy feeding everyone and used the mayonaise and somehow got a little bit of mayo on my nose, lol, and was totally oblivious to it, lol, and I'm looking at son and son saying, "Mom..." "mom..." like in a whisper, and he's pointing to his nose, and I'm like "what?" So then, I looked into the looking glass (mirror) and there was a little bit of mayo on my nose. LOL! That's what son was embarrassed about, but he wasn't embarrassed about the REALLY embarrassing thing that happened to me today...I just can't pull myself to tell about the REALLY embarrassing thing, even though I'm still laughing like crazy about it. I pray that this too shall past...as fast as HELL! It is like the "great depression" over here, it is SO funny! So, anyway, I began to finally feel my body beging to get "old" running around in the hot son and working my body out to get all the grocery shopping done, I was a maniac, maniac, on the flo! It was some episode! But, I got a lot accomplished. So, I came home and jumped in the shower and shaved and washed my face and body good, got an outfit ready before I showered, and chose a long white "sweater" and beige jean type pants, after the embarrassment I went through earlier today, there was NO WAY IN HELL that I wanted to wear any kind of skirt or dress! I wanted to be TOTALLY covered up! LOL! So, of course, when hubby gets home work, my outfit once again didn't please him, he said I'm dressed like it's wintertime in the summer? LOL. The song right now on son's XBOX, is, "Here I am, Rock you like a Hurricane!" These white boys and their muzak just make me laugh so hard! You black boys and your muzak make me laugh too. My son is having fun playing his guitar, guitar hero three, I ABSOLU TELY LOVE the powers that be! Talk to ya later, alligator. Carolina from Pennsylvania.
 

Dear Diddy, Well! Once again, God has showed me how amazing He really is. Not that I needed any proof or anything, but it always makes me smile when there's a happy ending and things work out great, even though life with my hubby for me is sometimes like those horror movies where the ending seems so great and happy, but then in only 2 more minutes, there's another horrible and big scare and the movie ends in tragedy after all? Oh well... What I'm talking about is what has transpired in the past hour or so...it all seemed to work out good? God is showing me a "Way?" I think? Well, it's 2:58 A.M. EST right now, or at least it's supposed to be, who really knows what time it is, LOL! Anyway, I was a little bothered that son had gone upstairs with the Ciroc bottle, causing trouble, to me, thought that hubby would see that bottle and go into a heavy fit and yell at me crazy and threaten to leave me and tell me he's done, and to call my sisters because I'm going to need them. Lol. Etc. Oh well, so, anyway, I went upstairs to our bedroom to "face the muzak," and hubby was laying in the dark in our bedroom. I wanted to see where that bottle was, as I was beginning to have these fears that son not only told his father about the bottle, but that he then snuck into our basement and opened the bottle and was sipping on it while I was laying on the living room sofa web surfing, lol. I was REALLY worried mostly about my son, had these visions that he and his cousins were somewhere in the house in the dark maybe sipping on that Vodka, lol. Had to ease my mind, lol. But, anyway, I went into our bedroom, and I asked hubby where that Vodka bottle was. I was prepared to have my ass kicked verbally, but, I was surprised? Shocked? Hubby did not verbally assault me? I asked him where the Vodka bottle was, and he said he had it, and I thought and said something like, "Oh yeah, that's a great idea, we can keep the Vodka in our bedroom, that way the kids can't sneak it. I didn't then bother to find the Vodka bottle, I just left the bedroom and closed the door, but later, when I came back downstairs to lay on our living room sofa and surf the web, I thought something like, "how precious that would be, if hubby was now laying in our bed, drifting off into a heavy sleep, with that Vodka bottle close to him, as if it were a stuffed teddy bear!" Lol. I thought that was so sleep. I don't know what hubby did with the bottle, whether he put it in one of the drawers of the bureaus in our bedroom, or under the bed, or in our/his closet, or if he never even bothered to get out of bed to put it away. I would choose, that he fell asleep with the bottle, just as if he were a whino, lol, that makes for a cute store, and would look cute in a motion picture, ESPECIALLY, because my claims he never once took a drink of alcohol in his long lifespan so far of 43 years! That's one of the great that turns me on so much about my hubby, always has! He was a SQUARE when I met him, as they say, he didn't smoke or drink. WHAT a turn on for me back then, and still is, though I'm not prejudiced and I love everybody, whether they smoke or drink or whatever they do. The main reason my husband never drank a drop of alcohol is probably due to his apparently biological father's alcohol problem that he had had when my son was growing up, my father-in-law is supposed to be a recovered alocholic now though, however, the haunting memories that he gave to my hubby during my hubby's childhood years, caused my hubby to never desire a drop of alochol, which is a good thing, so, even good things can come from bad things, they say that everything works together for the good of those who love the Lord, and in my family, it seems that even the bad things can cause good things, so? Well, who knows...maybe we've finally hit a/the bingo point! Maybe, finally, hubby is beginning to "understand" you, Diddy? Maybe he will no longer yell at me for embarrassing him because I'm so into Diddy for President '08! ? Lol. He didn't yell at me for the Vodka, and I thought for sure that I was going to get my ass kicked, though hubby never struck me physically during the past 26 years that I've known, but, I will admit it is the scariest thing in Hell to have to stand face to face to my big strong hubby and allow him to yell at me and go ballistic without flinching, knowing that in one second he could just punch me dead hard in my face, some scary shit! :) Okay... I just HAD to take a break from my writing just now, to get a sip of "iced tea" (my "alochol" I guess) and smoke a cigarette, or two or three or four, don't know how many I smoked just now, when I was 17 and got shocked I would only need one cigarette to calm me, ease, but now, at age 43-years-old, seems like I could "smoke forever..." Lol. I have to try to stop that. Lol. Well, it's funny, the things that are transpiring between me and my son and his two cousins. So much, but, I won't get it to now, let's just say, I'm in "matriarch training class" at the moment! Anyway, I tried to clean up the kitchen somewhat, while I smoked, and talked to my little nephew (or really cousin, I guess, but, I call him my nephew because he's so close to me, me and his mother were always tight, his mother is my hubby's tight cousin, they were like bro and sis growing up and still are I guess, and sometimes, it can be hard on me, because I always fear that they're talking bad about me behind my back, lol, but, I'm getting bolder, yelled at my husband the other week, something like, "If you have something to say about me, say it to my FACE!" Lol. JK. LOL. But anyway, me and my niecy, my nephews? mommy are very tight, we are like sissies too...I called her today to let her know how good her son was doing at my house, and what they did today and what not and I told my nephew to tell his mommy that he loves her before hanging up the phone with her. I would LOVE when my son's around other family members and away from me that they would think of me and have my son call me! What a blessing! I feel. Actually, her son isn't doing ALL that great here. My son, Tyler, wants to do what he wants to do, and my little nephew gets his feelings hurt and comes to me saying that Tyler won't change the channel to something else that they want to watch, or won't let him play the certain XBox game he wants, so, I try to get Tyler to cater to his cousins and give them what "they" want instead of what Tyler himself wants, but, I'm finding it better just to occupy the other children with something else, and let Tyler be, lest Tyler get so bored of this queer existence that he commit suicide or something, lol. So, today, I had my little nephew go upstairs to my hubby's and my bedroom and play a game on the big computer up there, and he had a good time with that, screw Tyler. Lol. :) We're making our way, my little nephew is becoming very close to me now, he is like a second child for me. I'm always gaining second children and I absolutely LOVE it! I have fun feeding them, too... Well...where was I, I forget, I've transgressed so much... I don't know where I was, I guess if I ever find myself not knowing where the HELL I am, I'd better, just quite what I'm doing and pray, there's always the future to think and dream and write and move and run and walk and even, swim? Lol. Ciao, baby or babies or whatever! CJ
 

Dear Diddy, Well, I think I have right now decided to just make this blog of yours my diary home, at least for now, who knows when I'll go somewhere else? It's confusing trying to figure out what I should do and what is the next best step to take and how to best follow my God? Can drive you nuts, so, I know I'm definitely doing A LOT of things wrong, as life should be so easy and beautiful, not this! Hubby got up for work at about 5:00 EST, it's supposed to be 6:11 AM EST now, he came downstairs after he dressed and he told me to go to bed, but, I didn't feel as if I could go to bed, it's like I'm a "watchman," or something, or rather "watchwoman," I can't go to bed, there are guys over there in Iraq in WAR physically, and when you are in war physically, you can't just say, "okay, it's 10 p.m. I have to go to bed now and get my 8 hours sleep, I'll get back at you guys tommorrow at 9:00 and we can continue this war?" Duh. I'll never forget when the guys went into Iraq and went to war with those other guys, all the gun fighting and blood shed, how am I supposed to "sleep" when they are or at least were, fighting their asses off to stop this madness and evil that is in the world. My President, George W. Bush, kept those evil guys out of MY country, and contained that war to IRAQ and he saved me and Paris Hilton's life, and all the other young gals in this best country in the WORLD, the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, that SHIT that goes on in IRAQ, isn't going to start going on over here in America, NEVER! Because American's will die for OUR COUNTRY! And Christians, great Christian, will lay down their very lives for their friends! I'll never forget the men who served died, that's for DAMN sure! No matter what it takes. Well, when hubby had told me earlier to go to bed, I couldn't, but, I knew that I should "obey" my husband, as I ususally strive to do, so, after he told me a couple of times, I placed my notebook computer on the ottoman beside me, still lit up, in your blog, and I went up and laid in our bed. I guess I was sort of hoping that hubby would come over to my notebook computer and get "nosy," so, I went upstairs and laid in our bed, and I thought numerous things, I have numerous options, can't say that nobody gives us any options, lol, I thought that I would stay permanently off the computer, and just serve my husband and son and my household, do all I know I "should" be doing, lol, like scrubbing the refrigerator out, organizing the food in the cabinets, lol, scrubbing the kitchen floor, organizing our entire basement, getting my son's bedroom in order!!!!!!!!!!! LOL! Getting the carpets steam cleaned, maybe, lol, cooking great meals everyday, even three times a day, taking care of myself to the utmost, getting all "dolled up" everyday and looking like a top fashion model for my hubby everyday :)! I dreamt about that scenario for a while, just leave the world behind, leave you's all to your business and I'll go about my business, lol. Sure, it's a weird life, but, it would be peaceful and very happy probably, lol. Oh yeah, I'd then be able to invest good in the stock market and become a zillionair asap. LOL. Too. LOL! Read millions of good books, lol, read my bible and other good Christian resources, lol....just do whatever the HELL I wanted to do and know I "should" do...lol...so, I dreamed about that for a while, lol...but then, I got out of bed and came downstairs, and hubby WAS reading my notebook screen...it was scary for me, I was glad that he was reading what I was writing to you, I always felt he should, but the parts where I talked about his family and his father and the alochol business, scared me, I was scared he would punch me dead in my face for telling the world that (and oh, yeah, you think i have some not so nice to hear things to say about his side of the family, just WAIT till I tell you about MY side of the family! someday! Lol!) Well, I didn't get punched in the face, yet, thank God, but it's always hanging over me, I'm always scared of the day that that will happen, either by me, or by someone in my husband family, or my family, or even a stranger, lol. I think I'm the one in the Fight of My Life, like Kirk Franklin's vid shows, it's not the MEN, it's the WOMEN! LOL! Oh well, that's my perspective anyway :) Oh well, so, hubby didn't yet say anything to me about what he just read here in you blog...it's 6:23 A.M. supposedly, and I thought hubby was supposed to be at work by 6 a.m., he's down in our basement now, I think, he just went down there after reading this blog, I have NO CLUE as to what he's doing down there now. I think I should go down there to him, but, I wonder, should I keep writing instead, I don't know the exact proper thing to do, but, I think I should keep writing and allow him to come to me, if he wants to, whenever. Well, earlier this morning, I wanted to see what hubby did with the "Vodka?" :) So, when he woke up this morning and I saw the light on in our bedroom, I opened the door and I asked him what he did with the "Vodka?" Remember I had had visions and dreams that he'd kept it in our bedroom and even fell asleep with it, lol. Well, he was like "what Vodka," and I was saying "that Vodka that Tyler brought to you," I had to wrangle out of him what he did with the DAMN VODKA! Lol. So, finally, he said he threw it out, I was a little pissed, I wanted to know where he'd thrown it out at as I wanted to "retrieve" it, but he said he threw it out in the trash can outside, so, I forgot about retrieving then? I didn't know what to say to him, he's the boos, I am following him, even if it doesn't seem like it sometimes, so, I just said "okay," I guess, and left the room. At least I knew then how that "scene" really ended, lol. So, after that, I was sittting out back on my porch, sipping some "Turkey Hill" Lol, iced tea and smoking Capri Menthol Ultra Light cigarettes, and smiling and giggling again, out loud, some neighbor in the row home on our street must have been going outside to go for work, and here I am giggling in the dark on my back porch, lol. Wonder what they though, whoever it was. Lol. So, after a while, I walked down to the trash can in my bare feet, my hubby HATES dirty feet, and I just love to run around barefeet, I really wish I could be "barefoot and pregnant!" forever, lol, but, anyway, I went to the garbage receptacle and opened it up and tried to retrieve the Vodka, lol, but, I couldn't easily find it, and I decided AGAINST opening up the garbage bag to find it, but, I must be so DAMN "CHEAP" that I didn't want to have to go back to the spirits store for another bottle of that Vodka so soon! Lol. I wanted that DAMN VODKA I had broken my neck to purchase today! Anyway, I had had "other" great ideas and visions, I had sort of decided that since hubby didn't want it, that I would give it as a "gift" to my father-in-law, he has stage 4 lung cancer, and is really bad off right now, and he has nurses attending to him, but, I was going to give him one of my cigarettes and some of the Vodka and sip the Vodka with him and smoke a cigarette with him, lol, ? he's already on many drugs, what the hell is a drug cigarette and alcohol gonna be so bad? I think it actually "could" bring him back to "life?" He was a drinker and a smoker in his youth, and now, he doesn't drink or smoke, and my hubby says he quit smoking for my son's sake, and I KNOW how difficult it is to quit smoking, really, it's like almost "impossible?" I told him one time, I think, that he was SO STRONG, because he conquered not only one, but two strong addictions, cigarettes and alochol, I told him that that is so difficult to do, and that I read once that that is what we're here for, conquering addictions, I was sort of like high-fiving him, and praising him, lol! But, really, at this point, he's like 74 or so years old, I think it's time to lighten up? I think it's time for him to smoke and drink again? Maybe 5 years from now, he could quit again? Lol. Write more soon. Going to go see what my hubby is doing. Ciao