American Apparel can suck my left tit.
I know I'm not supposed to say that, they're right up there with Burt's Bees and Bono as far as socially progressive darlings, but I don't give a rat's A. I'd rather buy 8 pairs of mink-covered Nikes than spend one dime in that piece of shit store.
Let's start with the obvious – the advertisements. There's always some 15 year old girl splayed out on a bed or bent up against a brick wall, looking like she's just been gang fucked in the ass or is in the midst of a heroin nod.
And that's if you can even see her face, which is almost always not. The head and shoulders are cropped out and the naughty bits are the focus, meaning all of Manhattan is covered by huge 100 by 100 foot billboards of ASS! and VAGINA! and TITS!
The models are always female, with a male thrown in once or twice a year to keep those bitchy gays and feminists at bay. Whatever. Come talk to me when the boys are in briefs with raging hard-ons instead of the demure semi-shirtless pics that look like they were shot by Mormons.
But the models are store employeeeeeees! Oh just shut the fuck up right now. They're always the young employees, the skinny employees, the pleasantly ethnic but still light-complected employees and never someone with a job title anything less than front of the house – i.e. retail clerk, designer, apparel manager, etc. When's the last time you saw Juanita from the sewing room or Darryl the janitor? Or maybe they were home sick when they took employee photos?
The absolute worst thing about the ads, other than the kiddie porn look and feel, is how widely run and prevalent they are in otherwise cool, liberal publications. Nothing's more awesome than turning through the pages of The Village Voice to be reminded once again that I'm. Just. Not. Pretty. Enough. Can't there be ONE FUCKING MAGAZINE that I can flip through on the train without having to deal with that Cosmo magazine body image bullshit?
Maybe the reason American Apparel focuses so much on their ads is because they know their clothes are sub-par. T-shirts, t-shirts, t-shirts! T-shirts with nothing on them! T-shirts that cost more than other t-shirts because they're special t-shirts! From a special company that's cooler than those other companies! Never mind the fact that they shrink up to mid-tit if you wash them in anything but cold water that's been blessed by Buddhist monks while you hope and pray they don't lose their shape or fall apart. (P.S. They always do.)
American Apparel is nothing more the same shit they sell at The Gap with better marketing. It does nothing creative or inspiring for clothing, other than provide a canvas for hipsters to put their ironic iron-ons advertising their own irony.
Then there's the whole politics thing. If the ads didn't give you the clue that the company is run by sexist shits, just take a look at the CEO, Dov Charney.
He's a greaseball who admits to fucking multiple female employees and once told a reporter that taking steps to minimize sexual harassment contributes to a "victim culture among women" and that, "women initiate most domestic violence." (Jane Magazine July 2004). Nice. In addition to being a perv you think them broads are asking for it too.
There's also a bunch of folks who say American Apparel is anti-union. I'm gonna stay neutral on this one, since it's something I haven't read much about, but do a Google search for American Apparel + the term "union" or even "sweatshop" and you'll see a whole mess of people they've pissed off, including the National Labor Relations Board.
By now you're probably wondering if my own wardrobe is socially responsible. Hell fuck no. I wish it were, but it's hard when you live in a society where 99.9% of shit is sweatshop-produced and the other .1% percent is either gorgeous but incredibly expensive or natural fiber hippie crap that makes you look like an asexual arts-and-crafts instructor.
I guess if I really, really tried, I could get closer to achieving a more cruelty-free wardrobe. But it sure as shit won't be with a company that hides the same tired tits-and-ass marketing under a leftist disguise and thinks I'm too blinded by the visual propaganda to notice.