"This isn't some drunk fucked up shit.. Well actually, it IS some drunk fucked up shit.  But really, I love this bar"  (while gesturing with a drink in each hand).

"Your not the vampire casanova anymore... your the Billy Martin of sex..."

"'Yen Ha' means 'One more'".  - Car Don

"Boy! I'm sittin' in a den of inequitty here!"- Phil the blind guy

"I don't do things I don't remember anymore.... I don't think..."

"Put on your bad girl panties!!"

"Don't dry and lie!"

"I was holding you up like a hero." - Phil the blind guy

"I lost all my intelligence" - Car Don

"What does it mean when ya piss blood?  Do I have cancer?"

(after falling off barstool and cigarette went out)..."I'm FINE!!  But come on baby, like my fire!"

"I'm outta here, darlin'. I'm not yer puppet anymore." -Spanish Coffee Kelly

"If she does meth, why's she still fat?"

"Wow.. they have a section for obituaries now?"

"I don't trust anyone that doesn't enjoy sneering."

"Why must you speak so fast?"

"I will never ask an aries to sing karaoke with me again!"