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Current mood:  frisky Category: Life
Even though I blog in the "real" world... I thought I would give you guys an update ( on the off chance you don't frequent My Inner Muse)... Um, and if you don't SHAME ON YOU!!! ( he he...)
Let's see how far back do I go?
Let' see... Met Jason 05 ( most of you got that...)
Broke up 05 ( most of you got that and if you didn't... HOLY COW did you miss out on some drama...)
Got back together in 06...
REALLY got back together in Aug of 06
Got REALLY preggo in Sept of 06
Got REALLY married in Nov of 06
OK that is the short version...
April 19Th of 07 had the twins...
May of 07 almost lost one of the twins...
From that point on... I honestly have no idea what in the hell happened... accept I got really really really depressed... got on Prozac, got REALLY FAT... uh-huh
Aug of 07 started TopHat Affairs
Aug 07- Feb 08 Drama!!
Feb 08-Aug of 08 More drama, and then some...I guess I will start my blog from this point on...
The muse has a confession to make... ( Hangs head in Shame ) Honey and I lived with my parents up until a couple of months ago... Why you ask? We fell on some really hard financial times. It really sucked. Living with my parents was horriable!! Not to mention it made me feel like a complete loser!!(It was really bad for the inner self) Looking back I think it was a cause of my depression. Not having my own space was consuming and not in a good way, it was a constant reminder "we" could not make it on our own... Did I mention how BAD it sucked.
Looking back I was in a bad place(mentally). I can only think of one other time I have been in the "black place"...
I gave off negative energy no matter how much I would tell people "I'm fabulous..." I wasn't... I think people knew that...
Now?
We have moved ( did I mention that I am ALMOST in deliverance country I can ALMOST hear the banjos but, that is futher down..no I am NOT kidding... psst click on the link)
All in all, (mentally) I am in a much better place( even with the banjos and people with six fingers... Think I am JOKING...?)!
I love my life and I really mean that. Which just brings me back to my original point.
I was happy in love, I was happy with my children but, the "self fulfillment" that happy place in my mind. I didn't have... Honey couldn't make me happy... Getting a new kitten didn't make me happy... losing X amount of pounds didn't make me happy ( it's 28 by the way I gained two... Damn FUDGE BARS!!) Trying to plan a wedding didn't make me happy...
Moving away from my parents home made me happy being here makes me feel in control of my life it gives me a sense of self-gratification,something I have always been looking for! And slowly the black place is no longer an issue!
In order to find perfect love... You have to find it in yourself FIRST!!!
The children are awesome! :-D The twins are 18 months!
And B-A-D...
As for me and my business- I was on the committee to plan the Bubbles for the Cure eventit was a grant release party... Even after all the snags and bumps, I was very pleased with the way it came out! I could not have asked for a better crew to work with. As a result of that event, the Susan G Komen For The Cure asked me to be on the board and then asked me to be Fund Raising Chair. Now, when I took this on... I didn't realize how it was going to take my time and devotion!
I am busy beyond words! It has forced me to balance my home life AND my working life... I think I have the mechanics down... And as for our business we are having to turn people away... So, yes that is good as well... :-D
How about them apples...????
The weight loss. Always has been a struggle for me. I went to the FAT Dr. and got some skinny pills and I have lost 28 ( should be 30 ) pounds. I will now add the exercises...
Honey and I have decided that I will get my plastic surgery next year in around the Feb time frame... so, I am going to get stuffed, tucked and sucked out! Please reserve your judgment on this as well!
As for everything else. It seems to be falling in place! Or so I hope! I have been down and out for a long time and I think I am due for some true happiness!
Now if I could only teach my dogs how to pick up after themselves... Then life would be damn near perfect
05:32 AM
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