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I write emotional algebra--Anais Nin Private, Intimate, Complex...

D.™



Last Updated: 11/24/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Married
Sign: Pisces

State: Georgia
Signup Date: 1/4/2004

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10 Sep 08 Wednesday 

Current mood:  frisky
Category: Life
Even though I blog in the "real" world... I thought I would give you guys an update ( on the off chance you don't frequent My Inner Muse)...  Um, and if you don't SHAME ON YOU!!!  ( he he...)

Let's see how far back do I go? 

Let' see...  Met Jason 05 ( most of you got that...)
Broke up 05 ( most of you got that and if you didn't...  HOLY COW did you miss out on some drama...)
Got back together in 06...
REALLY got back together in Aug of 06
Got REALLY preggo in Sept of 06 
Got REALLY married in Nov of 06
OK that is the short version... 

April 19Th of 07 had the twins...
May of 07 almost lost one of the twins... 
From that point on... I honestly have no idea what in the hell happened... accept I got really really really depressed...  got on Prozac, got REALLY FAT...  uh-huh
Aug of 07 started TopHat Affairs 
Aug 07- Feb 08 Drama!!
Feb 08-Aug of 08 More drama, and then some...I guess I will start my blog from this point on... 

The muse has a confession to make... ( Hangs head in Shame )  Honey and I lived with my parents up until a couple of months ago...  Why you ask?   We fell on some really hard financial times.  It really sucked.  Living with my parents was horriable!!  Not to mention it made me feel like a complete loser!!(It was really bad for the inner self)  Looking back I think it was a cause of  my depression. Not having my own space was consuming and not in a good way, it was a constant reminder  "we" could not make it on our own... Did I mention how BAD it sucked. 
Looking back I was in a bad place(mentally).  I can only think of one other time I have been in the "black place"... 
 I gave off negative energy no matter how much I would tell people "I'm fabulous..." I wasn't...  I think people knew that... 

Now?  
We have moved ( did I mention that I am ALMOST in deliverance country I can ALMOST hear the banjos but, that is futher down..no I am NOT kidding... psst click on the link)
All in all, (mentally)  I am in a much better place( even with the banjos and people with six fingers...  Think I am JOKING...?)! 

I love my life and I really mean that.  Which just brings me back to my original point. 
I was happy in love, I was happy with my children but, the "self fulfillment" that happy place in my mind.  I didn't have...  Honey couldn't make me happy...  Getting a new kitten didn't make me happy...  losing X amount of pounds didn't make me happy ( it's 28 by the way I gained two...  Damn FUDGE BARS!!) Trying to plan a wedding didn't make me happy... 
Moving away from my parents home made me happy being here makes me feel in control of my life it gives me a sense of self-gratification,something I have always been looking for!  And slowly the black place is no longer an issue! 
In order to find perfect love...  You have to find it in yourself FIRST!!! 

The children are awesome!  :-D  The twins are 18 months! 
And B-A-D...

As for me and my business-  I was on the committee to plan the Bubbles for the Cure eventit was a grant release party...  Even after all the snags and bumps, I was very pleased with the way it came out!  I could not have asked for a better crew to work with.  As a result of that event, the Susan G Komen For The Cure asked me to be on the board and then asked me to be Fund Raising Chair.  Now, when I took this on... I didn't realize how it was going to take my time and devotion!   

I am busy beyond words! It has forced me to balance my home life AND my working life...  I think I have the mechanics down...  And as for our business we are having to turn people away...  So, yes that is good as well...  :-D 
How about them apples...????

The weight loss.  Always has been a struggle for me.  I went to the FAT Dr.  and got some skinny pills and I have lost 28 ( should be 30 ) pounds.  I will now add the exercises... 
Honey and I have decided that I will get my plastic surgery next year in around the Feb time frame... so, I am going to get stuffed, tucked and sucked out!  Please reserve your judgment on this as well! 

As for everything else.  It seems to be falling in place!  Or so I hope!  I have been down and out for a long time and I think I am due for some true happiness! 

Now if I could only teach my dogs how to pick up after themselves...  Then life would be damn near perfect

D.™

 
Jason was shocked as hell when I was blogging... I have missed bloggin... keep in touch!
 
Posted by D.™ on 10 Sep 08 Wednesday - 12:39 AM
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jessica

 
So glad to her that things are working out for you guys. You are truly a special person and deserve the very best................
 
Posted by jessica on 10 Sep 08 Wednesday - 12:25 AM
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D.™

 
Thanks! Things seem to be going in the right direction! I hope it continues! HUGS
 
Posted by D.™ on 10 Sep 08 Wednesday - 12:40 AM
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ஜ♥ღ♥ஜSOUTHERN PRINCESSஜ♥ღ♥ஜ

 
I always forget about the inner muse. You so deserve to be happy because you have been through so much. Love you!
 
Posted by ஜ♥ღ♥ஜSOUTHERN PRINCESSஜ♥ღ♥ஜ on 10 Sep 08 Wednesday - 12:46 AM
[Reply to this
D.™

 
I have been through so much! And I thank you for your unconditional support you are nect! your amazing and one day some man will treasure that... I love you more the words can say... Forever best friends...
 
Posted by D.™ on 10 Sep 08 Wednesday - 01:35 AM
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Tawney

 
Been there every step... I am so happy you are FREE and have space I miss you a lot but you are still here..Just now down the road but you are very close.. Thanks for all -we have had some rough moments, with life issues.. but as far as me it is a work in progress with things.. But, I do see it getting better..
just look at your scratchy and few days later look what martin won..
next time MEGA millions
love ya
 
Posted by Tawney on 10 Sep 08 Wednesday - 01:21 AM
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D.™

 
You my friend are a gem! Your an amazing women... Your stead fast personality amazes me... Your truly somebody to admire. I am right down the road or so to speak but, forever in your heart. You have won a place that nobody will ever be able to replace, just remember this too shall pass... You will see... I promise one way or another things will work out... A very wise "fate: told me that... I belive the same for you ... HUGS from here...
 
Posted by D.™ on 10 Sep 08 Wednesday - 01:43 AM
[Reply to this
I am your Fate

 
Ive missed you... and my dogs pick up after themselves just fine its the kids that I cant teach anything...
Them apples seem to have turned from bruised and almost thrown out to a very nice apple pie ... transformed...
 
Posted by I am your Fate on 11 Sep 08 Thursday - 02:01 PM
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