You know how it goes, they always a way around something, good or bad!
 

prom is deffinately a fun night, but its a night where everything can happen and everything can go wrong. There have been countless occasions where Ive seen people from my school get into a horrible accident because they were intoxicated. The parties alone can kill you. I think that parents have a right to feel the need to protect their child, but sometimes they can be too over bearing and it just makes their kid want to go out and get drunk just to defy them. Its hard to do what you want and also make youre parents proud. Parents need to set limits, tell their kid to call them when they get to the dance, where theyre going after..maybe take their keys and say that youll drive them to that party theyre dieing to go to. It makes us mad, but its worth it. At least you know you wont have to drive home drunk. or Drive with a drunk driver. Make sure they have extra money in case they need to make phone calls for a ride, or to get someone home. Dont tell them they can stay out all night. Parents need to know that the sex, and the drinking do happen, and they cant be naive to it. But they also need to realize what prom means to people. Its their goodbye to friends, and their town. Its everything.
 

HMM WELL AS FOR THE WHOLE BEING SNEAKY THING NO I DONT HAVE ANY ADVICE HOWEVER I CAN SAY THAT IF YOU RAISED YOUR KID RIGHT THEN YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT!!! KIDS ARE KIDS AND WE ARE GOING TO DO WHAT WE WANT AND THE MORE OUR PARENTS TRY TO PUT A STOP TO IT THE HARDER WE ARE GOING TO TRY TO GO BEHIND THEIR BACK. SO JUST LET YOUR KIDS HAVE FUN THIS IS THEIR NIGHT, THEIR LAST TRUE HIGHSCHOOL EVENT LET THEM LIVE IT UP AND HAVE FUN AND JUST TRUST THEM A LITTLE....
 

I think the best advice I can give is to have parents locally draw up a contract about not having sex on prom night. Even if the kid isn't believing in abstinence, they can go without sex for this one night. So if they're parents right the pledge and their kids sign it, they can let they're children go in peace without the worryment, because everytime someone would go onto commit the act their conciense would have them thinking....what did i promise my parents and my community.

p.s.
please please...do a list of fun things you can do on prom night if you not going to prom.
all my friends are and i am not. so i would love some tips.
 

Go get doughnuts with loads of friends! That's what I did! It was soooo much fun. We sat in the parking lot, looking in at all the girls in their prom dresses and spoke of how we didn't have to slurge for a $500 dress to have a good time. But don't forget to wear tiaras. They have nice cheap ones at Claire's or Icing. It was incredible
 

yea i've had friends that their parents were worried about the after parties because they don't want their kids having sex,doing drugs,or drinking and driving. If the parents trusted their kids then i don't think they should worry at all. I don't think there is anything sneaky a parent could do to make them feel more at ease about it i mean they had a prom night didn't they?shouldn't they know?

[<3]
Rochelle
 

The only thing that I can say is to check with the school about how they are monitoring the prom. Whether or not they are allowing kids who are already drunk or on drugs in could play a factor in the prom, especially if it is a friend of the child. And if you know your child and raised them right, they may not always be fine. They can be influenced, despite the parents best intentions in raising them. Friends have something that parents don't, an influence, and that can change what a child does or how they act. That is all I have to say. Best of luck with this, Atoosa!
 

p.s.s. i really don't always spell that awfully. i just was rushing.
 

All I can say is, Let your teens be teens, you have to trust them because if they feel they aren't trusted they might go out and do the things your trying to prevent! If you feel like your child will go out and do it then talk to them and tell them what you expect! If you try to sneak around and spy, then that could cause more problems, and then your child might not trust you anymore, because we will find out, we always find out! It will be less pressure on them if you just tell them what you expect and also that way they will know you trust them and wouldn't want to lose your trust!!!!!
 

for parents not to stay up worrying, have them check in like every couple of hours u know to make sure their breathing!!! if the teen plans on spending the night at a "girlfriends" house be sure to make sure she will be at that house after prom. i called my mom when i got to the dance and every trip i made to the bathroom!
 

for parents not to stay up worrying, have them check in like every couple of hours u know to make sure their breathing!!! if the teen plans on spending the night at a "girlfriends" house be sure to make sure she will be at that house after prom. i called my mom when i got to the dance and every trip i made to the bathroom!
 

i think that teens who have over protective parents need to know that we, as teenagers, see
what drugs and drinking can do to us everyday. Either on TV or at school, we know whats going on, and i think alot of parents don't relize that we are much more careful and smarter then they think we are.

I think parents think about WHO we hang out with and the type of people they are rather then WHO we are and what we will do. Parents have to trust that we trust our friends. Parents get this stereotype that every teen hangs out with bad people, because they've heard stories and they've seen it on TV, but if I could tell anything to parents out there, it would be to TRUST the ones you love. You have to be able to trust us. You can't think that
whatever you watch on TV, that thats how EVERY teen is. I've seen alot of people and some of them friends, who have had sex and gotten drunk and caught by the police, and i just tell them that you've made a mistake, everyone does, but you have to relize what these things can do to you.

There is really nothing any parent can do to be sneaky. NO teen wants their parent as a chaperone at a dance, let alone prom. My friends date to prom, rented a limo and drove them where ever they wanted to go, but he knew that they got to prom safely and was picked up from prom, and he knew exactly where they were going all night.

Parents just need us to learn from our own mistakes, and to let us learn from what WE CHOSE to do wrong.

katie♥
 

***
i mean't that her dates DAD rented a limo. sorry!!!
 

I think that if parents think their child will drink on prom night- they shouldn't make it a big deal for them to have to be home that night. Drinking and spending the night at the party is safer than drinking and trying to drive or get a ride home, drunk. At my school's prom last year, many parents insisted that their children be home sometime after prom- allowing them to stop by and visit with some friends or catch a bite to eat, but many of those people went to a party for a few hours and since they had to be home that night, they had to drive home semi-drunk and such, which of course is not safe at all. Although parents want to keep their children safe on prom night- they best way to do that is to give them more freedom. Let them stay out, but insist that they call you to let you know their plans or where they are.


-xo
 

I think it's a good idea for parents to help their kids pay for a limo. Not so they can go to prom in style, but more for their safety. That way, if the group ends up smashed for the night, parents don't have to worry about their kids getting in a car with a driver who's too intoxicated to know the difference between a red light and a green light. With the limo, they're taken everywhere they need to go, the parent knows who's driving at all times and it's a lot safer.

Hopefully parents already know the typical prom routine: dinner, dance, afterparty. And the afterparty is where things tend to go wrong. I never attended one myself, but heard too many horrible stories that could have been prevented. I don't have any advice on this, but parents should be aware of what their kid will be doing after the actual dance.
 

Parents should try having a little trust.
And the kids should earn it.
Have there cell on them constantly and call their parents when they can.
Everyone knows there's gonna be a prom after party.
so make sure you get a DD.
or even rent a limo so you'll have the driver.
but don't make you kid embarassed by calling every fve minutes.
or asking there friends where they're gonna be.
 

Prom was one of the best nights of my entire life! However, the parental units are a little more than petrified when the time comes.

1.) Work out some sort of plan with your parents so you don't blow your budget. If you go to your parent or they come to you with a plan things run a whole lot smoother.
* I did this and instead of getting a 500 dress like every other girl in town, I got a cute vintage dress my Senior year that ended up being the one and only there!

That's my tip... the parental advice, ok here goes.

1.) "If you can trust me, I can trust you."
* I'm not saying a parent shouldn't care and I realize some parents are more strict than others but prom night isn't just about the party... it's all about the experience. So parents should share their own experiences, when I found out my Dad had a bad date his first year at prom I realized it might not be so bad going solo. Learning from your parents and OPEN communication is key!
2.) "Just saying NO!"
*It can be difficult since the pressures of prom night far exceed the pressures of just another house party, so in the event your parents bring this up... they should have a few guidelines.
a.) DON'T assume- The minute you start guessing what's going on in my life, is the minute I start tuning you out.
b.) DON'T overanalyze the details- Ok obviously if I were going out on prom night I would not tell you if I were going to get trashed, but if a parent comes up to the kid and says, " I know you could make mistakes tonight, but just know I'll love you no matter what," then it is more likely the kid will have that track playing in their heads before any big decisions are made.
c.) DO call at least twice- One, when prom ends, and then one before the afterparty... just to be safe.
3.) "Trust me..."
*Trust is usually a huge issue with parents and teenagers. If you keep this subject at arms length, or more importantly treat it as a "hands-off" situation then you are really doing your kid no favors. Instead, discuss all the options because what-if can always turn into, "Mom and Dad, I have some news for you. "

Having this experience and information should put you and your child at ease. In the mean time, enjoy the season whether they freshman or seniors. Prom is a milestone, and one that should be cherished as well as photographically documented (have that Kodak ready!).

Much love Atoosa.
Caroline
 

My senior year in high school, my parents actually chaperoned my after prom. At first, I was completely against the idea. I thought I was going to have a horrible time because my parents were going to be there. But, in the end, everything ended up being so spread out that I barely saw either of my parents. It put my parents minds at ease because they knew where I was, they knew I was safe. Also, it gave them the chance to be a part of such a special night, without being completely intrusive.
 

Like most people will probably say, communication is key. Trust is key also. The more a prent trusts the teen, the more the teen won't want to rebel. There's nothing really at prom that is all that bad as it's hyped up to be. Kids just want to have a good time and the majority of those kids that are in my school go to prom, dance with people and then go out to eat. There are the select few that go out and get drunk that I've noticed and those select few don't even really have parents to talk to, which is sad.

I guess that mainly the best advice a parent can get is to remain on a solid ground with the fact that it IS prom and maybe they won't like everyhting that goes on, but it's a part of life. And a teen that goes through life without at least one good learning experience isn't going to know how it feels to make mistakes and therefore is more prone to making those bad choices out of ignorance and vulnerability.

Thanks Atoosa for readinggg***
 

im in 8th grade, and even though the 8th grade dance is WAY different then prom, a lot of pplZ parents are worried. i just hope that when i get to go to prom, my mom is supportive of me going.

<3333
 

I think the parents must trust their child and have an open relationship with him/her. My parents are divorced and they both called me a couple times on prom night just to check in. I also called both of them when I got to prom and when I left prom. Maybe, parents could try a no questions policy for prom night. What I mean by this is if the child is in a bad situation they could call home and just tell the parent where they are and that they need a ride home. The parents should let them know that there would be no questions asked and that way they would have a safe way out of the situation and a safe way home.
 

Prom night was the BEST night ever! My dad and i talked about prom and what was going on afterwards a little, i think it made him a little uncofmortable to think about alllllllllll the possibilities of what could happen; so he invited our entire prom party (30+ teens!) over to the house after the dance, just so we'd all be safe and not out on the road or anywhere that would put us in danger. He didn't allow us to drink (obviously) but said everyone could stay til whenever. The great thing about it was not one person that was over took advantage of it (by sneeking in drugs or booze) we all had a blast - i was glad to wake up the next morning and actually remeber what happened the night before. It was an awesome party!
 

I wish I could say that hopefully the teens will be responsible, but who am I kidding? My sister is a junior in high school and I see how the kids she hangs around with act. They aren't responsible any other day, so what makes prom any different? I think all the parents can really do is try to communicate with their child the importance of safety, etc. Talk to them (I know, the dreaded sex talk, but hopefully they've already had it with their kids), make sure there are always ways to be in contact in case anything happens (such as a situation the teen is not comfortable with and needs an alternative way home). Our prom was an hour away from our town (it was held in San Francisco), so many people ended up staying in hotels that night, which is another big worry of the parents -- sex, drinking, drugs galore (or so most assume). Just lay down the law with your kids, but don't be a tyrant. Chances are, if you come off as overely abrasive, your kids are just going to roll their eyes and do it just to spite you. You need to make sure your kids understand their actions and consequences, talk to them about safety, especially if they are going to do it anyways. You can't always preach abstinence, staying sober, etc. You can let them know that it wouldn't be a good idea to have sex, get drunk, do drugs, etc. and it wouldn't be safe, but you also need to reassure them that you are there for them should things god badly, and please please please talk about safe sex! When I graduated high school, there were already about 6 girls from my class that either had kids already or were pregnant. If you're going to have sex, please be safe about it!
 

Well, prom is something that's been going on for years. There have been bad incidents that have happened at prom, but nobody's perfect. Prom is just an end of the year party that can be enjoyed without sex, drugs, or drinking. The actual high school prom is checked by tons of chaperones, and no drinking or anything bad will be going on there. As long as the kids don't get drunk or high before they go (which the parents will be able to look out for) everything should go smoothly. What parents DO need to look out for are the after parties. However, they also have to trust their kids. As long as they know whose house their son or daughter is going to and what they'll be doing there, the parents should feel more at ease. Prom is also a time when students are moving off to college and becoming adults, and their parents are going to have to learn to trust them, because they won't be making decisions for them for much longer. Basically, parents should be worrying about spring break, not prom.
 

Well, this year I'm going to Prom with a guy my parents don't approve of, whatsoever. so we made a deal: I would check in every hour, and after Prom was over, we would go to a post-prom party... at my house, with both of my parents supervising. It seems perfect, because if anyone shows up that could make it destructive for the rest of my friends, then my parents can politely turn them away.
I actually like this idea better than going to someone's house who I barely know.
 

That sounds just like my friend's situation, and i talked to her mother and she is now able to go to her prom.

First of all, any parent has to know there child and if you don't this doesnt apply: is your child the type to do those things? if they are, prom will be just another night to do it once again.

Next if you're not letting them go just because you're worried about them going crazy, high, pregnant, drunk, what ever-- its usually not the prom where this happens. Proms are supervised my school staff or some sort of security and the prom itself is actually pretty well looked after.

Where it all starts, though is after prom. After prom is where everyone parties, hangs out, takes trips and does all that stuff because no ones watching. Most times its where the drinking goes well in to the night. THough that may not always be the case at after prom, it most of the time is. People get caught up in the moment of how its their only prom. Its the night that only happens once for them. So what it all comes down to is if you really trust you child.

Even if you, as a parent still don't want to send your child to the prom this is what i've told my friends mother:

It's prom. It the one night in Kadines (my friend), life where she'd be able to get all dressed up and celebrate her last year of high school. You don't get another night in your life, to go to prom and its just a tradition that she shouldn't miss.
then i added about how yes there are the drugs, sex, drinking but its all after prom. She could just go to the prom itself and then go home and she'd be fine.

well thats all for now, hope i helped

<3 natalie
 

That sounds just like my friend's situation, and i talked to her mother and she is now able to go to her prom.

First of all, any parent has to know there child and if you don't this doesnt apply: is your child the type to do those things? if they are, prom will be just another night to do it once again.

Next if you're not letting them go just because you're worried about them going crazy, high, pregnant, drunk, what ever-- its usually not the prom where this happens. Proms are supervised my school staff or some sort of security and the prom itself is actually pretty well looked after.

Where it all starts, though is after prom. After prom is where everyone parties, hangs out, takes trips and does all that stuff because no ones watching. Most times its where the drinking goes well in to the night. THough that may not always be the case at after prom, it most of the time is. People get caught up in the moment of how its their only prom. Its the night that only happens once for them. So what it all comes down to is if you really trust you child.

Even if you, as a parent still don't want to send your child to the prom this is what i've told my friends mother:

It's prom. It the one night in Kadines (my friend), life where she'd be able to get all dressed up and celebrate her last year of high school. You don't get another night in your life, to go to prom and its just a tradition that she shouldn't miss.
then i added about how yes there are the drugs, sex, drinking but its all after prom. She could just go to the prom itself and then go home and she'd be fine.

well thats all for now, hope i helped

<3 natalie
 

Contact is key. But let the kids do it on their own terms. Calling them every five minutes won't allow them to have any fun, and they're more susceptible to screen your calls that way. Tell them to call you as they're leaving venues--if you ask them to call when they arrive (as a lot of parents have a nasty habit of doing) they'll most likely either forget, or complain to their friends in the limo on the ride there about how you're 'ruining their prom experience'.
Prom for most kids is all about independence. Let them have their night of formal freedom.

Something that I've seen happening more recently is seniors inviting underclassmen to prom. If you're the parent of a freshman or sophomore or junior who gets asked to prom, don't immediately rule it out.
Ask to meet the potential date, and keep in good contact with the date's parents so you can get a feel for what exactly your child is going to experience socially that night.

Your kids will love you if you extend curfew, but keep in mind legalities in your state for curfew laws, and make sure they have a guaranteed mode of transportation coming and going. The last thing any parent wants is their child getting pulled over at 2am on the drive home with 6 dressed-up kids scrunched up in the backseat. The limo is worth the money, and will make them feel more adult. I don't know anyone who has ever said, "I would really love my parents to drive me to prom," so don't suggest it.

Prom is really just another night. As long as you know where your kids are there really is nothing to worry about. They probably have wilder nights on regular weekends vs. this formal one.

If parents are REALLY REEEEAAALLY concerned to the extreme about their child, contact your school and ask for a chaperon to keep an eye on your child's group, and perhaps even ask them to notify you when they leave.
If your kids found out about this, though, you'll have unbridled teen angst on your hands for days.
 

my best advice for a worried parent. Is to make sure they know where their child is staying the night. They will fill more at ease if they know that there child is sleeping at the house of the party. Therefore no driving needed. After that they need to have trust in their child to do what they feel is right.
 

Hello
Just wanted to stop by and say hEy!
Sorry I can't help you on this one...am a senior too but I decided not to go to prom since I think is a completelly waste of money.
I don't know about anybody elses prom...but I think that buyin a really really really expensive dress to go to prom for 2 hours is totally crazy.
Plus...I'm not into the get-drunk-rent-a-house-in-the-beach-do-drugs-and-have-sex kind of thing...so its gonna be boring for me.
As for parents....I don't think there's anything they can do to prevent that to happen but to not let their kids go..but hey! Who's gonna do that? Right? Haaha
Hope you and thurston are doing great
Love

rossina
 

When I went to Prom, my parents offered to throw a casual after-party for me, some of my close friends, and our dates. When we came back from Prom, we had a big bonfire and ate tons of food. We all must have stayed outside talking until 4 a.m., and my parents weren't overbearing. They were the ones who brought us more food when we needed it, but they didn't hover around us. They gave us our space, but I think they just felt better knowing where we all were. The next day, my friends and I went into Pittsburgh for a day on the town at the suggestion of my parents.
As it all turns out, Prom was great, but our after-Prom ended up being even better. My friends ranted and raved for weeks about how cool my parents were. And our after-party ended up being a great time for us to spend some time together before graduation. And we were safe. My parents knew where we were, but they weren't overbearing.
 

Honestly, no matter how much a parent will communicate with their teenagers about regarding drugs, drinking, sex, etc.... it's going to happen. It depends on their child's self-restraint, personal values, and motivations. These, however, are all established as they grow up. As much as a parent can warn against participating in these actions, the teenager will most likely already have his/her mind made up ever since they decided on their prom date and plans.

I went to my senior prom last year and I didn't drink, do drugs, nor party hard. That was entirely my choice--my parents had no influence. They never spoke to me about what to do and what not to do at prom.

The real solution is for parents to develop a strong relationship with their child WHILE growing up. Build strong values and know how your teenagers feels about certain issues. Establish a trust between the two and although it might still happen, the parent will be more aware of it and can help their teenager be safe.
 

I say if you want to be a be an annoying parent and ruin one of the most fun nights your kid will have, and be able to look back on and be like "woah i was a crazy motherfucker" then just look in their purses for flasks, drop them off at the prom, watch them go in, and then pick them up right after. As for me, my parents were awesome and let me go to prom with a college guy and then go camping in a bunch of cabins with all of our friends. We drank, we ran over things with golf carts, made out, set things on fire... it was amazing. And i look at pics i have, and tell friends now my stories and people are jealous, like WOAH my prom sucked, looked like you had an awesome time. I guess it just depends on if you think your kid is a dumbass and can't handle going out to a party afterwards. I think by the time prom rolls around you are old enough to go party with your friends on this special night. We all have to lose our V-card at one point or another! heh heh. xojennypenny
 

dont forbid us to do anything well most likley rebell n do it anywayz
just talk to us about the consicuences if we do get really drunk, hav sex etc.
if you dont trust us to make the right desicion then we dont trust u with your advice n wont listen
comunication
n trust
really not that complicated.
 

I would let the parents know that taking pictures isnt a crime! of course us teens seem like we dont want that many pictures taken, but later on, we will wish that we had more pictures of how great everyone looked that night, so, that's my advice, TAKE AS MANY PICTURES AS YOU CAN!

For the parents that are terrified of after-prom parties, They should get together and plan one for all the kids to come to that is drug and alcohol free. My school has a group of parents that plan an after-prom party every year, for that reason, so that kids will not go out and get drunk and pregnant and it is usually a blast!

Last but not least, just have trust... as teenagers, we know how to make good decisions, and hopefully we usually always do, of course there are times when we mess up, but those times are inevitable because that is the only way we learn, from our mistakes.
 

I honestly think the key thing is communication. If parents and kids have the ability to talk about thier lives truthfully, it makes it much easier to trust kids. Honesty on the kid's part is as important as trusting on the adults part.

I suppose if the parent is that worried about what their child will be doing, they could offer to host the afterparty.
 

If the parents trust the kid then there isn't much to worry about. If the parent also knows that they raised their kid right, then the parents shouldn't worry that much. I haven't been to prom but parties can bring out the worst in people. The parent should make sure they know where their child is going after the prom.

As for the worried parent, they could tell their kid they are going to call every hour or so to make sure they are safe. Also have a rule that if they don't pick up their phone or call at a specific time, then the parent should go pick them up.

Mostly, it is all up to the choice of the child. The parent can't be there at every moment to make sure their kid isn't doing something bad, but they can trust their kid that they will make the right decision in any situation. Before prom the parent and child should have a talk about what could happen, and the way they could handle the situation. Even if you have that talk; have the kid have responsability in a situation. If something bad does happen the child calls the parent to pick them up. If they take that responsabilty there should be a no questions asked rule, only if the child seems truely upset or in need.

And of course, a curfew. :)

I think the idea of doing this will help a lot of parents [and kids] realize what goes on after prom. The good and the bad
 

mu school doesn't have a prom. =(
 

I didn't go to my prom either but If I was the parent I would want to knowev everything about who they are going with and to call about every so often to tell them what is up. Before prom I would tell them the basics of saying NO to peer pressure and about drugs, sex and alchohol and that it is wrong and just say NO to it.
 

I didn't go to my prom either but If I was the parent I would want to knowev everything about who they are going with and to call about every so often to tell them what is up. Before prom I would tell them the basics of saying NO to peer pressure and about drugs, sex and alchohol and that it is wrong and just say NO to it.
 

my school doesn't have a prom. =(
 

Prom is huge because its the last party (dance included) before everyone leaves. For some people, you've been with the same group of kids since Kindergarten! Now, everyone is growing up and moving away and getting ready to start their own lives.
The point is that parents need to know their kids. Communicate with them and even let them know your own faults. (It helps us feel like we arent the only ones, and that you relate more). However, DO NOT act like you know what it is like to grow up in this time period. 10, 20 years makes a difference with high school. Even 5 years makes a difference. Things are different, some aspects harder, some easier. Parents need to take that into accound. Parents need to know who their kids are going with, know their friends. If you are nervous about the group of friends, invite them over. Have dinner with them, let them hang out in the back yard or in the living room watching movies. That way, you get an idea of who their friends are. Also, if you are worried about the afterparty and have the available means, offer to have the party at your house. Then just stay upstairs and let the kids have music and good food and fancy (but non-alcoholic) drinks. Let them watch movies and have a sleep over so you dont have to worry about people driving home tired. Talk to the other parents too if you are really nervous (I know it sounds crazy to some teenagers, but I think it just depends on the kid and parent relationships). Also, have your kids call you once in a while and check in.
Always give your kids enough money for a cab (In case they do get drunk) and make sure they have a few different phone numbers for cabs in the area. Also, if they have a trusted older sibling, make sure that sibling is on call. Chances are, having that sibling pick you up from a party would be alot less embarrassing than your parents.
 

Parents shouldn't worry too much about what goes on during prom since there are chaperones there. If they worry about where they're child(ren) will go after prom and what they will be doing, they should talk to them in advance about that. Also they should find out what time the prom will be over so that they can give their children a reasonable curfew. If they want to, they could also ask if it is possible for them to chaperone or assist at the prom. Of course, they should speak to their child(ren) about that first to see if they would be comfortable about their parents being at their prom.

My mom kept tellng me to be safe. She gave me the usual advice that a parent gives his/her child. She told me not to drink out of a cup if I left it unattended (you never know what other people may do to it). She told me not to go anywhere with anyone I didn't know well. If I wanted to go anywhere after prom I had to let her know exactly where I was going to be and with whom I would be. My prom was over at 11:00 pm and she set my curfew at 2:00 am. She was nervous about letting me go, but she trusted me enough to know that I would not put myself in dangerous situations.
 

Parents shouldn't worry too much about what goes on during prom since there are chaperones there. If they worry about where they're child(ren) will go after prom and what they will be doing, they should talk to them in advance about that. Also they should find out what time the prom will be over so that they can give their children a reasonable curfew. If they want to, they could also ask if it is possible for them to chaperone or assist at the prom. Of course, they should speak to their child(ren) about that first to see if they would be comfortable about their parents being at their prom.

My mom kept tellng me to be safe. She gave me the usual advice that a parent gives his/her child. She told me not to drink out of a cup if I left it unattended (you never know what other people may do to it). She told me not to go anywhere with anyone I didn't know well. If I wanted to go anywhere after prom I had to let her know exactly where I was going to be and with whom I would be. My prom was over at 11:00 pm and she set my curfew at 2:00 am. She was nervous about letting me go, but she trusted me enough to know that I would not put myself in dangerous situations.
 

At this point parents have had 16-18 years to teach their children right and wrong. They shouldn't feel the need to do anything sneaky, because they definitely had enough time to prepare themselves and their beloved teenagers for situtations that may arise.

The best thing for parents to do is encourage good thinking and planning. Tell your teens that you want them to have fun, so they should be smart enough to pick a good and safe place to be for the after party, as well as good and safe people to be around. Let your teens use their own judgement as to what is good enough and safe enough... It's their night, they're not going to use it to hurt you.
 

I can't stress communication enough.
I have a very open relationship with my Mom.She knows what I will and won't do, so I think that kept her worries to a minimum.
 

My school helped alleviate parents worries by sending them a letter about the guidelines that would be followed during prom like they would have a police officer present and if anyone seemed intoxicated they would have a breathalyzer there. They also sent home the times of prom and other information about security and other things. This helped alleviate my parents worries and also my parents knew who I was riding with and they talked with me beforehand to tell me what to watch out for and how to protect myself in a dangerous situation and how to avoid dangerous situations. They also gave me a curfew of 3am!!
 

I'm probably the worst person to give advice because I went to my Senior Prom, but my dad drove me and picked me back up. I didn't have a date and I didn't go to any after parties. I came straight home after Prom and watched a movie with my mom and took some pictures. I'll give the questions my best try...

My advice for parents? Trust your instinct. If you think your kid is going to drink or have sex because that's what their friends will do and you have a feeling they will do, make sure it doesn't happen. A parent knows best. Some kids to drink, do drugs, and have sex. I was not one of them. My parents wouldn't and didn't allow it to happen. They kept tight reigns on me and my sister which in the end worked out for our benefit. We ended up leaving high school with zero regrets because we didn't do what other people our age were doing. We were doing what our parents taught us to do, BEHAVE.

As for being sneaky...If you have to be sneaky that's probably not a good thing. Be HONEST. Honesty is the best policy. Don't try to sneak around to make sure they don't do anything stupid..BUT, if you have to sneak try calling the hotels in town to make sure there's no rooms under any of their friend's names, boyfriend's names, etc. etc. Just make sure that you check registrations to see if they have planned anything like that. Parents could probably help each other sneak. Sometimes kids are more comfortable talking to other parents rather than their own so you could try that. At the end of the day, don't sneak. Be upfront and honest with your kids. Talk to them about your concerns and thoughts.

Some parents seem to think most kids' parents won't serve alcohol at after parties even if you ask. So not true. Some parents are too concerned about being "cool" so they might/will serve alcohol even if they say there's no alcohol. Show up at the party and check in on the chaperones if you have to. That way you can see for yourself what the parents/chaperones have planned at that party.

If your child is a geek or someone who has always followed your rules...Good news. You have nothing to worry about. Geeks/unpopular kids are generally not told about after parties much less invited (...I should know...). They are also less likely to find themselves in trouble. Someone who has followed your rules every step of the way (for 17 or 18 years) when it comes to going places without you, will probably follow your rules on Prom Night. They're not going to just throw away your rules for a night because it's Prom. If they haven't done that before, they probably won't do it now. (...They'll wait until college to break rules when you're not always around and when you have less of a say.)

Sometimes a parent has to be a parent. Don't try to be cool. Parents are NOT cool. They never will be. They never can be. Something cool parents can do...don't serve alcohol to minors and create trouble where it isn't needed. Not every kid needs to drink in order to have fun...only the boring ones. Plan a fun, alcohol-free after party and allow all types of people to come geeks included. Create a safe and fun environment so later on no one has regrets from Prom Night...that includes you the parent. If you're going to allow alcohol, do everything in your power to make sure no one drives home or walks home. Prom Night is not supposed to be a "last hoorah". It's supposed to be one of many "hoorahs".


-Olivia-
 

If you don't know your teenager's date, if it's at all possible, have them over for dinner or just have them over for the sake of meeting them. If parents have an idea of who their son/daughter is going with, they can be a bit more at ease.
 

My biggest advice to parents is to just try to have a good relationship with their kids in which both the parents and kids trust each other. Living in Europe, it is different because here the Italians can drink at any age, which makes it extremely easy for American kids my age to go out and party. My parents raised me so that if I go out then I tell them, and they know where I am at all times and I always have my phone incase I get into trouble. If you raise your kids to be responsible then I don't think you have to worry about them making the wrong decisions.