I love hearing your words of wisdom. I can DEFINITELY relate to what you are saying. There is so much pressure to be great. And people DO want to put you in a box. I greatly appreciated this blog posting. I will take your words and apply them to my own life as I embark on my journey to get over my fears and leap towards my goal of one day becoming the editor-in-chief at a magazine.
 

how about the pressure to pay for a $60,000 dollar college when you cant even afford rent.. money is overrated. i think college should be free after highschool i mean jobs now want you to go to college but if you cant afford them how can you go..
 

Right there!
You go into debt for it, but it's still a job you may have not will have!
i really think it should be free, and if it was the people we might work for, have more potential employees to pick from!
 

I'm so sad you left Seventeen! You were so great at what you did. But I'm sure you'll be great at whatever you do next. =]

Love,
Hannah
 

hey atoosa! i love always reading your blogs! they are wonderful!! ♥
 

Because of the way I was raised, there were always very high expectations, specifically academically. Most of the time I felt overwhelmed and stressed out, because I never felt good enough in anything. Over the past year or so, I've realized that I really don't have to be perfect. I'm proud of my accomplishments, proud of who I am as a person, and proud to be proactive in life. Let's not confuse being proud with conceited, but everyone should be proud of what they do.
 

hey atoosa, thanks! i needed that! :) i feel better now! yay!
woo-hoo! first comment, too, eh?
i love ya!
loveyou♥
 

i completely agree. lifes so short and instead of making ourselves happy and living it to the most, we spend 90 percent of the time trying to please everyone else. but in the end your the one that has to live with yourself and its much better to make yourself happy and then share that with others who appreciate it. xoo<3
 

Inspiring yet again, Atoosa.

I dislike that people try to put us in those metaphorical boxes so they can understand us. (I loved that by the way). Whenever I see my grandparents the first thing they ask if "So where are you going to college?" It's really irritating. Or people ask about school in general right off the bat and when you tell them the truth that your grades are less than perfect they kind of close off too you.

I understand the pressures you feel - I feel like my parents want me to be a certain kind of person, my boyfriend's mom wants me to be a certain kind of girlfriend and act a certain way around her and her other children, my boyfriend wants a girlfriend this way, etc. It's crazy. And thus creates anxiety (which I already have problems with) because you worry if you are doing a good enough job to satisfy everyone all at once.

To answer your question, I am the last person who can take a compliment and appreciate it. I fish for them from time to time, but when I receive them I doubt them. I break myself down all the time verbally at Lacrosse practice because I feel that even on the field people size you up and make you try to fit into their box. Lately i have been noticing it and trying to get better at it, but it's hard.

With inspiration from your blog which I continually read over and over again, I feel like I can overcome people's expectations and hopefully they go back into their box that they are too afraid to come out of.
 

you are very ambitious so go where your heart leads you..

and i deff. won't miss your appearance on the Today show=]
 

i absolutly agree...with everything. lol. i honestly do not think it's right when some live their life and do certain things just to please others. like u sed, noone is perfect. everyone has their own unique umph inside them that makes them special. its not about how much money one makes, or how perfect they may look, who their dating or where they got their clothes. it's what's on the inside that counts. =] very glad u posted this blog! =]
 

i am so happy you posted this. this is pretty much how i feel when i'm around my mom. she's always pressuring me to be something i'm not and it really gets to me. the quote was excellent too =]
 

thank you for posting this. i used to spend most of my time trying to please my familt and be the girl my mom wanted me to be. it eventually became too stressful and i started taking chances. i'm happy with who i am now, and i dont ever want to go back to the person <i>they</i> want me to be.
 

I can completely relate.. People always tell me "you're going to be big one day! I don't know with what.. but I know you're going to make it." That makes me really uncomfortable because now I feel like everyone already has high expectations of me and mistakes are not an option. If I wanted to work at Dunkin' Donuts for the rest of my life people wouldn't accept that. I don't want to work there forever, it's just a part time job to get me through college with spending money. In any case, I want to be big, definitely, but it's hard earing other people say that. Especially now because I feel like everyone is EXPECTING something from me. I just want to live and be happy. Apparently, That's too much to ask in this day and age. People always want something from you, not very many people are genuine anymore because corporate world is so competitive and people put such an emphasis on success that people don't stop to appreciate what they have, to realize they don't need to be rich or a CEO to be successful.


I have no idea if that's what you wanted to hear but I feel better having vented it out. Thanks. :)
 

Amazing. It's like the thoughts you write were extracted straight from my own brain. Thank you, Atoosa. <3
 

wow...very touching...I have insecurities---as many women do---but I've learned how to accept many of my "flaws" but there is always at least one time that I can't stop doubting myself...it's like I've set a mind frame to never be TOO optimistic because when something you really want to happen....doesnt happen...you'll be totally crushed bc you were sooo sure it was going to happen for you =[

but I'm working on it...I'm getting really good at it...its funny though because my friends usually see me as the most optimistic one lol =]
 

Sometimes in life God answers questions and doubts in unexpected and almost unseen ways...
Lately i have been incredibly stressed out about school, scholarships, everything... and to top it all off my boyfriend broke up with me... great. I have been praying to God that he will show me and lead me in a positive direction that for once benefits ME. I am tired of living my life for my parents, i am tired of being just another student in class and I am tired of always being so nice and such a push over. I am done being the girl that i am expected to be, and i am ready to be the girl that i want to be... i just never knew how to put it into words. Thank you Atoosa, thank you for being a positive role model with wonderful advice, thank you for allowing girls to realize that all they need to be in this world is their selves, thank you for being real. I will truly miss reading the letter from the editor in my Seventeen magazines, but i know that a woman as smart as you would only make such a huge decision if that's what was right for you. I hope that God blesses your new journey in life, and that you finally live it according to your own personal wants and needs.
-Ashley Dale
<3
 

I am defenetly sad that you are leaving Seventeen, but I am thrilled you are doing something you want to with your life! Latley I have been going through the same thing. People have put pressure on me to do what they want me to do and I didn't mind that for a while untill I realized thats not what I want! I realate to the quote from Marianne Williamson so well because her words speak nothing but truth! I realize now that God does want us to shine with everything we are and help others to do the same! Thank you so much for all your words of advice!



Love

Alyssa
 

Wow. It's rare that in life you are able to find exactly what you're feeling through someone else's words. When I'm completely honest with myself, I know exactly what I want to do in my life, but I can't. Life is so complicated. I'm only 21 and I feel like I've already made myself fit into that "box". This perfect cookie cutter hide-a-way, where others (parents, friends etc) expect me to be. I'm comfortable, but there’s this part of me that feels like I'm wasting away. I don't want my life to be this. A thought that scares me down to my core is that it's too late to change. To do what I want, would be to away what I've worked for thus far, and that thought in itself terrifies me. You writing this has hit me so hard that I find myself literally shaking at my desk. I don't want to get stuck in this perpetual cycle. As thoughts continue to flood my mind, I'm not sure as to what else to say....but thank you...so much.

Ashley
 

Ashley, Life is not black or white. I don't for a second regret the time I spent trying to please everyone because: 1-I got to work at Seventeen which is where I met a lot of you guys as well as some really terrific colleagues that are still good friends of mine. 2-Being uncomfortable is what pushed me to figure out what IS comfortable. And that's still a process. Most days, I'm really happy and so glad I'm on this path. Sometimes, I wake up and I'm like "Wait a second - am I nuts to have walked away from 'all that'?" But as long as I'm asking myself questions, I'm learning and growing.

To answer your question: it's never too late. I'm more than 10 years older than you and I've made this change. And I k now people that are many many years older than BOTH of us who have done the same. As long as you are always growing in a direction that makes sense to you in the moment, this is a good thing. Don't be so afraid. Life is a journey with you in the driver's seat. Drive.
 

Yea i totally agree with what you are saying. I feel like i am under all this presure and no matter what i do i will never be good enough. And it is so funny somtimes i can't even take a compliment though sometimes i do and "i know", because i don't know once in a while you just need to be all about yourself. It was great i am part of a group for teens called Be The Change and we did this activity called "Bragging Rights" where each person would write about things they are proud about themselves. It was great!! But yes we all need to take charge of our lives and find our paths. I miss you not being in seventeen but i know you will do Awesome and whatever you do later. I mean right now you are doing Awesome by posting these blogs and making us think! And also helping us feel better about ourselves.
THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU
lots of love
~Kasey
 

I'll miss you at Seventeen. You seem so nice and caring and I hope for the best for you and for your family.
 

wow. ur writing is truly inspirational. i can totally relate to this. even though im still finishing my last year in middle school, i already have the pressure to fulfill everyone's expectations of me while I sometimes just want to sit back and let time slow down. ive now been perceived as the brainy girl in my classes and the one who always gets straight a's. if i ever slack off, ppl would sometimes rub it in my face and make me want to hide from the world. reading this, i now remember how i sometimes get embarassed when my mom mentions the accomplishments i have to others. now i realize that its nothing to be afraid of. im learning how to have more self-confidence and that im an individual who has so much to give to the world. sometimes i feel like i want to escape but i always come back to knowing that i am who i am....not what someone wants me to be.
 

you're absolutely right, theres wayy too much pressure to please everyone else in the world. From our parents, teachers, friends, etc. And its very frustrating trying to please everyone else, because then you forget about your own happiness. Im sad that you left Seventeen though, but i hope you find a job that makes you even happier! :D And the quote in your blog is very true. Most of the time im afraid of success, not failure. Of leaving others behind me, because i know i have all of that potential to become something GREAT, something AMAZING! But i think in High School, everyone has the pressure to be PERFECT;to be Beautiful, Smart, and Athletic. And its definetly a lot of pressure to keep a 4.0 while running track and keeping a flawless face as well. My best friend and i LOVE writing, but when we do essays or other papers for school, half the time i feel like im OUTSHINING her, and that makes me feel BAD. But i know that instead, i should feel good about myself, and proud of my talents.

Anyways, i hope your decision on leaving the magazine helps you find that road to your happiness. And this blog was amaz-a-zing! I love it. You have BEYOND talent, and the potential to do something even better than Seveteen Magazine.
 

This is such good advice. You're right. I used to not be secure enough to say MY truth and instead I always said what people expected me to say. But I realize that being secure is like a little muscle that you need to exercise every day multiple times a day. A friend of mine, Sheelah, once said that you should start your day everyday looking at yourself for as long as you can in the mirror (look yourself in the eye) and say "Wow - what a beautiful person God has made in me."
 

So im not the best in school and my parents feel that I need to be an A student and I feel that if im not im disappointing my parents. And they have already taken some of my privalges away because im an average student. My sister is a straight A student and my brother graduated early.
 

Wow, this blog is absolutely wonderful.
 

Wow, this blog is absolutely wonderful.
 

I have to admit that I apologize when someone else bumps into me in the hallway. It has kind of become almost like a reflex for me to do it. My mom puts me under alot of pressure to do extra excellent in school, and I understand that she wants the best for me. But sometimes, especially when we discuss what I want to do as an adult, she makes me feel as if I am doing it ALL wrong. I feel like she is trying desperately to live through me sometimes. For example, she is all but forcing me to apply to a summer camp that runs in a few months. But I don't want to go...at all. She makes me feel as if I am disobeying her in the highest of ways in not wanting what she wants.

I am really sad that you aren't with Seventeen anymore, but it takes a really strong person to stand up and do what is right for them even if others can't really get why. Just hope I can do the same someday :).

*ashley
 

I know what you mean by being under the constant pressure of others. Mine comes more or less from my family. After graduating high school, something had gone wihmy college applications, so I had to resend all of them, therefore making me wait a semester. The chirping in my ear was driving me insane, minly because it was always so negative. I heard day in and day out that I had "screwed up my life," and that I would "amount to nothing." In my own mind, I knew the situation at hand, and knew that I really had no ontrol over it. I just had to wait until I heard something from the schools. In the mean time, I got a job working at a Starbucks as a part of Target. I loved it there. The people were great and I was with a lot of friends. A new friend I made there was in her early 20's with three kids and on on the way, working a paycheck to paycheck job. I love her to death and she's a great person, but I wanted better for myself. With all of the negativity coming from home I began to doubt myself, which is, by far, one of the worst things you can do. If it weren't for the few friends that were able to see through my "I'm fine" smile, I don't know what I would've done or where I'd be. After a while I actually got accepted to Penn State University, my second choice in schools. I was beyond ecstatic. It was like a sense of sheer pride fell over me, and I was loving it all the more because I had the proof in my hands that I was trying my best to get into college. My family was taken aback and nearly speechless. I felt as if for the first time in my life I had won. After all of the put downs and the scrutiny, I had accomplished something that none of them had, and for the first time I could get away and be able to run down my own path instead of being shoved down others. My joy suddenly came to a screeching halt when I got to the school. Everything that could've gone wrong did, and here I am, back in the same demeaning position. So I'm not at PSU and I don't currently have a job. I know what I want, but I don't know how to get it without putting myself in a situation and a life that I hate. I am now considering tech school and community college, even though that feels to me as if I'd be settling. I am also considering the USMC, mainly because I can get my foot in the door leading to my future and at the same time escape the grasp that everyone seems to have on me. Problem with that, I don't want to die at nineteen. It's like I'm stuck in a rut that I cannot get out of, and I fear that this is going to bring me down to a point where I can no longer get up. I am out of ideas. I keep joking with my friends that I want to take off to Timbuktu, but I know that running truly isn't the answer. All I want to do is write, talk, and create stories. I want to be able to share what I know. I want to make music. I want to have fun with my short films. I want to go everwhere and see everything, and I want to be my own photographer the entire way. I want to do so much, but I see no means of getting that. I just want to live my life on my terms, and hopefully things will work out. If not, then they were my mistakes to make and no one else should have a say in how horrible or how great I am. I hate having to please everyone else, I refuse to do it, so in everyone else's eyes I fail every time. I just want to please myself, no one else.
 

With the things I wrote you about previously, i was denied a chance to complete my education. My step Father pulled me out of school after only one year of high school adn refused to let me go to public school but also refused to help me in my homeschool.... so i guess people keep asking me< what am i going to do with my life am i ever going to go to college am i ever going to find a job.... and because i'm still recovering from the things he subjected me to i dont know, so i gues my pressure comes from those who are trying to push me to forget what i simply cannot....

Thank you for writing this though.... it really.... made me feel a lot better about myself.

Blessings to you Atoosa. <3
 

I actually had that quote posted and gave the credit to Nelson Mandela... oops. I think this subject is so incredibly important. We need to focus on what we want. If you haven't already- check out "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne. I just got it but I haven't put it down much since!

Kudos times infinity!

-Alisha
 

If I were to write down all my problems in this blog, it would take weeks to explain exactly how I feel and why. I'm hindering myself, I tell myself its other's words that are doing so but its up to me to bring myself up, but its so hard and I'm pushing myself further down into this deep black hole. Everything may appear alright on the surface but its not so I sink deeper. There is so much going on inside that it burdens me to the point of nearly losing sanity. But yeah what you say is so true. Why hold yourself back when you're capable of going further?
 

I feel so pressured about college. I graduated in 2006, and I'm still not in school. I don't mind not being in school right now, because I know when I'm ready, I'll go. I think if you're going to have a family, a career is something you really need. I'm in no hurry to get married or start a family, and college is always going to be there no matter how long it takes me to get ready for it. I don't understand why it's so wrong for me to just have fun and have some "ME" time for a while. I always feel like people are looking at me thinking "Oh, she'll wind up working at McDonald's for the rest of her life because she isn't in college." Oh, and the people saying if you take time off before going back to school, that you'll put it off forever and never go back. I'm not a stupid girl. I have wanted to be a teacher all my life, and I'm not going to give that up, I'm just simply not in a hurry.
 

the quote is so right. I know I have to just jump in and hope, not hope, WORK for the best, but I always have that little voice in my head telling me I can't or I won't or I'm not good enough for everyone else around me.

Pressure is everywhere. To get a job in what I actually went to school for, to keep up in grad school, to get married (althought technically in NJ I can!), to please everyone else all the time.

I get knocked down a lot. Something good happens and then something worse makes the feeling of the good go away. Have to concentrate more on the good and work towards eliminating the bad.
 

I realize I am a bit older than your average reader. In fact, I'm quite a bit older than you. But I am a fellow Barnard graduate and I am a writer and an editor, so we have something in common. Your message is great, but for some of us it comes with an expiration date. I never have been perfect, and I'm beyond trying. I lap up compliments. I think people relate to us from their own narrow perspectives. I just want to do my thing and earn a living. Keep on blogging.
 

Amazing Blog.
Happy Passover to you and your family!!
I'm celebrating as well...and its my least favorite holiday.
 

Ever since I was young. I twas like ten years ago since my older cousin graduated. She was an honors student, valedictorian and everything else. She was highly involved in high school. My parents expected the same from me. When I got to high school, I knew what I had to live up too. I had to get straight A's or else my parents would be disappointed. I had striaght A's for my freshman year and first semester of my sophomore year. I got my first B my sophomore year. I about cried because I knew I had diappointed my parents. I didn't want to show them my report card because I was scared to disappoint them. I knew that from that moment on I wasn't perfect. I wasn't going to be valedictorian like they wanted me too. I had a B. When I saw my report card, I cried because I didn't want my parents to see that one dreadful B on my report card. Well I had left my report card on the coffee table and my mom saw it. She wasn't disappointed. She was happy with my grades. It was a relief but it still hurt me knowing that they wanted me to be like my cousin. I wasn't going to be her. It drove me crazy. Junior year I got two B's. I wasn't as disappointed. As a senior, I have received five B's but I still have a 3.896 gpa. I am going to be graduating with high honors. I will make my parents proud. Yes I won't be wearing a medal around my neck but l I worked hard in high school I know it because I spent all those late nights staying up to finish the homework assignments in my AP classes.
I hate the pressure that my parents have put on me. I am not the perfect student they wanted. I am highly involved in my high school. I have the option of where I want to sit for graduation like either with Student COuncil or NHS. I have taken a lot of AP classes. But still I feel like it's not enough for my parents. I don't know what they want from me anymore. It's so much pressure trying to please them. I am not the straight A student they wanted. I know deep down they really are upset about it because that's how my family is.
Okay I even get pressure from the clubs/sports I do. As a senior I am suppose to set a good example for the other people. Like in tennis, it is driving me crazy. I always have to be the one with the perfect serves or the perfect hits. If I make a mistake it's not okay. I am human for crying out loud. I am allowed to make mistakes. But the people around me don't like to see the imperfections in me.
Another pressure is impressing college. Yes I have received all my acceptance/rejection letters. As a freshman, I was building up my resume to impress colleges. When I got rejected from my dream school. I applied to Columbia University-early decision. I about lost it. It hurt because I had worked so hard and then to get decline admissions, it was really haed. But I bounced back up from it because I knew that I now have an option of where I wanted to go. I could decide for myself and not be binded to the school. I just recently got rejected from another school I really wanted to go to Pepperdine. It bummed me out but then I bounced right back up because I thought about it and realized that there are other schools that want me. I foucused on the negative. I really don't understand the pressure of going to such a good college.
I hate when people ask me where I am going. When I tell them I might be going to CU Boulder, people respond with. OMG! You are too good or too smart for that school. It drives me crazy. So what? What if I liek the school and I see myself going there. Then I tell them that it has a strong journalism program. Then people don't care they just go on and on about how Boulder has a bad repuation, there's bing drinking. It drives me so crazy. I really like the campus. Then someone else will be like who cares about the campus, why don't you go to DU, it's a private school. It will be much better. I have come loss and i have no idea where I want to go to college anymore. The pressure to find a good college. But not it's paying for it. I wasn't offered much aid to CU Boulder, but if I go to another school I would be paying however much I would to CU Boulder. But Boulder is where I think I would be most happiest. As one of the top students at my school, people don't expect me to go to a school that everyone goes too. But yes I am a top student at my school but no one understands the real reason why I want to go to CU Boulder. But then again, I have no idea where I want to go.
My parents make too much according to one of the full ride scholarships I applied too. I made it to the semi-finals and then bam I am out of the running because of income. I am not even getting any aid from the school I want to go. I have worked super hard on scholarships. I have applied to over 50 to know that i Have only gotten 2, well one from a college. I have worked so hard and it's so frustrating to know that I am not getting any money from the scholarships. I spend all my time working on them, and it's not cool to know that I haven't gotten like any of them. I have also advanced to the next round for the Gates scholarship but I won't get that either because my parents once again make too much. It drives me crazy. Yes but really none of that money is going to my college education. Why is college so expensive? I don't understand any of this.
But is the pressure that is making me stressed out to the max. I want to break down and cry but my tears don't come up. LIke I have this pressure to be this perfect person but I am so far from it. I am tired of trying to please everyone. But I can't stop trying to please them. I don't do half of the things for me anymore, it's always to please everyone. I am tired of all the pressure. I am a senior in my last semester of high school but instead I am stressed out to the max. As graduation gets closer I think about how I won't be valedictorian instead I just will graduate with honors. I can't stand it. I worked so hard but people always tend to bring me down. The pressure to stay thin, the pressure to be perfect, the pressure to do good in school, the pressure of colleges and scholarships. Welcome to my life.

But thank you Atoosa for being so inspirational. =)
 

This post was just what I needed.
We ARE constantly scrutinized by others, and we do attempt to perfect ourselves in order to fit into what they see as perfect in their eyes. But in reality, there are no limits to what we as individuals are capable of doing. If we constantly pick at ourselves as an attempt at fitting into their idea of perfect, we're quickly dimming the light for ourselves & others.
Take reigns of your own perfection, because you are great.

THANKS ATOOSA!
These posts really do mean the world to me.
Sabrina, :)
 

I relate, in oh so many ways. My dad has always had the highest expectations of all for me. Like I felt like I could never, EVER be good enough ya know? My whole life has been trying to please him, and do what he wants me to do. I want to write, to move to New York, to make a difference, etc... But he has always said that it is never going to happen. I've never been allowed to dream. And I'm sick of it. I'm tired of trying to shrink myself and potential, and my own vision for the future. I am a dreamer, but so were those that made a diffrence in this world. People with dreams and the guts to make it happen. I tire of just living the life everyone expects of me. Going to college, and then working my way up in the business world, always trying to get ahead for me. To somehow prove my life is worth something.... There is much more to life then this, I know it. It's scary to put yourself out there, to take risks, and choose a path different then those around you. But also so worth it in the end.
 

I'm totally feeling the pressure, even at this moment.

My boyfriend is shipping out to... Iraq. Everyone I know thinks we're wrong for one another to start off with, but now I would feel horrible if anything happened to him while he was away. Everyone keeps saying, "oh if something happens I'm here for you," even though ten feet away from us they look at him and I just judging... it's insane.

I've been struggling to loose weight for like that past couple of months, it's just time to loose the baby fat already. Plus when you have people those who are in my family, the supreme court of families, you start to realize you're just another dot on the map to them. I'm reminded everyday, "you're just like your mother," and that's really what scares me. My Mom was not a model, or perfect or even a good person, she was really misguided and she totally went down the opposite path that a mother goes down. She made some bad decisions, and now she's just a misserable human being, and as so many people know misery loves company. I don't even talk to her because of those choices she's made. What fuels my family though is the sheer fact that I look a little like her... like I can change my genes or something overnight to please them. I figure if I lost the weight things would be better, and even though I feel excellent... the pressure to be thin is taking hold of my entire life.

That's when I started realizing as I read down this page, I've turned into that "I'm sorry," girl! I'm doing it all the time, and really I've been doing it since I was in middle school. I'm 19 and still tackling it? What's wrong with me? I just feel totally lost Atoosa...and I don't know what to do, or think. I just want to feel better but it just seems like I can even get past hello, and that's the hardest part - just trying to survive.

Caroline
 

my pressures: college-classes and all that come with that, being at the wrong one for me makes it even harder, boyfriend-being away from him, fights that result in exhaustion, being lonely, my mom-she expects me to make the decisions SHE wants, myself-I think with everyone, we put the most pressure on ourselves like you said, and I'm pretty bad about doing that, life-is just full of pressure. I just want to be strong enough to withstand it all.
 

Very insightful. I always tried to live up to the expectations of being the "perfect" student my parents wanted me to be in high school and I accomplished what they wanted. However, now that I'm in college and the courses have a heavier workload and harder details to begin with, it's not as easy to live up to the expectations they have. I'm not doing as well as they would want, but I am trying my VERY BEST and that's all I am concerned about now. I learned not to live up to everyone else's expectations, but to set my own goals and try to reach them the best way I know how. I'm a lot more happy with myself now that I can do this and things are feeling better every day. Thank you for posting such an inspriational blog Atoosa. Much love!!!
--Heather--
 

i don't know what i'm doing with my life. and that's ok. i don't need boxes anymore.
 

at first, i was mad that you were leaving. it was weird, almost like, if my mom had kicked me out. i started reading this magazine in about the 4th grade, and next year i'll be going ino highschool. i fell like like u have guided me though all my awkward stages and helped me to feel more beautiful. but now reading this, i'm not mad anymore and i am truely happy for you. i wish u luck with the success you will soon achieve

xoxo
amanda =]
 

the pressure to be funny.
the pressure to be cool.
the pressure to look the
way guys want me too.
the pressure to succeed.


atoosa, i'm letting these go.
from now on, if i can help it,
i will not be pressured into stupid
things that i don't want for myself.
 

Sigh, I can totally relate. I'm looking for summer internships (for magazine) and I'm sure you know how competitive it is. I had two interviews and they both did not turn out so well, so now all I'm hearing is, "where are you gonna be in the summer???" it's soooo stressful. No one really knows how the process is, so in turn all i feel is stress and disappointment. But I'm learning that just because I don't end up where I want to doesn't mean I won't end up SOMEWHERE (and believe me, that revelation took a couple days). Sigh.....expectations are a pain.
 

You. Are. Awesome.

I needed this more right now than I need anything.

I'm at a community college and people are constantly asking where I'm going to transfer. And honestly, I do not know. I feel like I should have made that decision a long time ago when everyone else I graduated with did. This puts so much pressure on me to figure out where I'm going to go! I feel like I've let my parents down.

And, btw, the sorry thing, I do that all the time. Some rude guy just totally ran into me and I was the one to say that I was sorry for it, when he should have said sorry or excuse me.

Maybe I'm too shy and nice...and maybe I need to break out of my shell...because I don't believe people have seen who I can be.
 

Wow! So I am a senior in high school and as you can imagine I get the "what are you studying in college" question all the time. I dont know. I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life. When I say that it is like well you'll figure it out soon hopefully. The college which I applied and was accepted to is New Mexico State University. Many people in my school and my town look down upon this university because well it is a party school and to some it "isnt good enough". When I hear this its like wow how embarrassing, but really I shouldn't be embarrassed. I want to go to this school. It is perfect for me. Low costs, near home, and it isnt overwhelmingly big. I definately understand what you are revealing. I myself have tried to do things to make others happy. Not that it is bad to do, but first one has to make sure he or she is happy before they make others happy. I know that I have sacrificed my happiness for someone I loved or even someone I didnt love. But it was like I thought that it was my duty to help that person, or live up to their specific standards. And I think to a point I still do that.
But after reading this I think to myself, 'I have my own brand of greatness' ...And who am I not to be gorgeous, and witty and wonderful? So Atoosa I thank you for making it okay to not know what I want right now. And I thank you for pointing out my greatness.

sincerely,

Samantha
 

Dear Atoosa,
This blog was the answer to my prayers!! I'm a naturally pessimistic person (well, not NATURALLY, it's just what comes to mind first). I have been on my school's mock trial team for 2 years now. Last year I 'exceled' and we won and I got two 10s for my performance, the highest acheivement possible, yada-yada-yada. This year, I'm the captain. Im suck an overacheiver, apparently. I throw myself into my work, and completely forget about my 'friends'. [All my 'friends' are much older than me.] Then I get my coach and peers telling me I'm crazy, and that I need to stop. But I just CAN'T. I NEED one thing to be good at, and I chose mock trial. Yet I feel like, I'm slowly falling apart. Everyone has put me on this pedestal, and expects everything I do to be instant greatness. I've disappointed everyone, and myself. I feel like, I HAVE to top last year. For a while, I bargained with myself. If I finished ______, I could eat. If I finished _________, I could sleep. I became this monster. Everyone told me to get over it, and there was nothing else I could possibly do and to relax. It angered me that they thought it was so easy to stop stressing. I wake up every night, thinking that in the morning is the trial and the team is not prepared, even though the trial date is April 25th. Now, I'm having panic attacks during practices, which has angered my coach so much, he thinks I don't want to do it anymore. I've been put on this pedestal, and everyone is waiting for my next move, and I have no clue what it is.


Thanks for posting this blog,

Veronica.