Funny stuff! I could not answer it though, I never disclose my inner mechanisms.
 

pussy
 

have you ever noticed how much Kaitlyn ni Donovan would look like Tank Girl if she died her hair blonde, braided it & wore goggles, a helmet & fishnets? i never really thought about aviator goggles before that. when i saw that movie i kept thinking wow that's so Kait....me, i'd look stupid in aviators. but they're not sunglasses, they're goggles. the sunglasses are gay.

that's really the only question i can answer at this time, sorry. i guess i have to get in the back of the line now.
 

It's OK. I always give hawt chicks a free pass.
 

Have you ever considered forming a "Blue Man" type group, but of a different color? Yes, Orange

Has your UFO abduction story ever gotten you laid? No, but I have a relative whose UFO abduction story got him out of trouble with his girlfriend.

Do you always let your ringtone play in its entirety before you answer a phone call? YES!!

The rest I would have to answer "no" to.
 

Even with your positive "ringtone" answer... It's OK. I always give hawt chicks a free pass. Could be Soft Cell for all I care...
 

smooth
 

Q: Have you ever worn a hat or novelty socks to "challenge authority"?

A: An unequivocal "Yes"!


 

Pardon meee....blogdick moment....
I love those damn socks!

Sorry.
 

And you've still grown into one hawt chick!
 

Mike, I haven't the foggiest idea about the other site to which you refer -- but I'm glad you found "me" funny! Perhaps it was one of the spare donor clones that escaped.
 

MS, I have only cursed and shriveled the barren tree, and only in fulfillment of the prophecy, or loose party talk. And here I thought the Scientologists had the monopoly on bad personalities:

on Hollywood Blvd -

Sc. "Test you personality?"
Me. Naw, my personality sucks...
Sc. "We can fix that..."
Me. Whatever for?

c.
 

My only problem with Scientology is that they consistently come up with crazier bullshit than I ever possibly could.
 

I'm the one asking the questions here, but my suspicion is that you're probably a pretty practiced tube player.
 

LMAO...I have pondered the question of how many razor blades one will use in the future and been distraught over running out of V-8.
 

I'm certain people of the future will look back in disbelief that we only used four-blade cartridges.
 

And you, sir, are a man of your word...
 

one word...... "pertual"
 

Oh, did I coin another phrase again? Thanks!
 

Now, now -- don't be a reactive ass.
 

The "aviator sunglasses" question is probably the most telling of the lot. You are cordially invited to my table for dinner, and can wear my yacht captain's hat and ascot for FIVE minutes.
 

Take THAT, Authority!
 

Indeed, there are still heroes out there.
 

Darn you, this is going to take longer than writing my own blogs, but heck, what have I got to do otherwise to procrastinate from writing my article on Italian anti-GMO activism?

Have you ever considered forming a "Blue Man" type group, but of a different color?
No, I always wanted it to be blue.

Have you ever eaten an entire scented candle in one sitting?
It's so hard to stop once you start.

When you're on crack, do others often ask what kind of crack you're on?
Happens on the sidewalk all the time.

Would you use the term "impressive" to describe your pornography collection?
All my collections are impressive.

Do you consider yourself to be a "social drinker" since you are, after all, a "member of society"?
That's a fine idea. I'm a social water drinker.

Do you avoid flying not because of any safety concern but because you consider it "cheating"?
It's not cheating if you use your own arms.

Have you ever felled a fruit tree because that fruit tree "was talking shit about Jesus and my homies"?
No, I was psyched it was talking shit about religion. Its wit was quite acerbic, or ascorbic, or something.

Without looking, can you distinguish between "YES" a new rash or "NO" a new tattoo?
No.

Do you ever feel superior to others because yours are "authentic" aviator sunglasses?
The ones I wear when I'm flapping? Yep.

Do you usually hear music after putting on earmuffs?
Oh, they go on your ears?

Have you ever jumped in a cab and yelled "Follow that homeless person!"?
I usually step into cabs or jump over them.

Do you become overly emotional whenever you realize you could've had a V8?
No.

Have you ever uttered the phrase, "Dave Matthews Band speaks to my demographic"?
No.

Are you often overwhelmed by the breadth and variety of insole choices?
Filet of insole, lemon insole, insole meunière... yes!

Can you touch your ears with your knees and still unsnap a hernia truss?
What kinds of weird sex games have you been playing?

Have you ever used a toilet plunger for other than its intended purpose?
I've used it to unplug toilets, as well as for its intended purpose.

Does downloading beta software updates make you "feel pirate"?
Arrrrrr!

Do you often wonder how many blades people of the future will use to shave?
Often, but I think Ridley Scott already addressed this issue very well.

Have you ever Googled on "visible razor burns"?
Now I have.

Did you really enjoy the Cuban food?
Yucca!

Have you ever worn a hat or novelty socks to "challenge authority"?
Not just one hat....

Do you always let your ringtone play in its entirety before you answer a phone call?
Not always.

Has your UFO abduction story ever gotten you laid?
Is that what they're for?

Are you easily offended by "What's with these paraphilic infantilists" comments?
Did you know that diapers is a great rack in Scrabble?

Do you frequently use a hand-sanitizer as a breath-freshener?
No, but I rub mints under my arms.

Do you often orgasm to Yellow Page ads as a strategy to save on escort services?
Spitzer should have.
 

You're in for the "rubbing mints under the arms" answer alone.
 

Strangely I have 7 yes's
 

Oh dear. You're the prophesied messiah then...
 

The clubs must've loved cleaning up after your sets.
 

Have you ever considered forming a "Blue Man" type group, but of a different color?
We won't go there.....

Have you ever eaten an entire scented candle in one sitting?
Yea...and the leaded wick too!

When you're on crack, do others often ask what kind of crack you're on?
I just tell them yellow when asked....

Would you use the term "impressive" to describe your pornography collection?
Of course!
German Shepards and tattos?
are they impressive?

Do you consider yourself to be a "social drinker" since you are, after all, a "member of society"?
Sure, and I make sure I over drink in public....


Do you avoid flying not because of any safety concern but because you consider it "cheating"?
Ehhh...I always fly;)

Have you ever felled a fruit tree because that fruit tree "was talking shit about Jesus and my homies"?
Nope....not that one.
Fruit trees don't talk.

Without looking, can you distinguish between "YES" a new rash or "NO" a new tattoo?
How did you know? It isn't a NEW rash...it comes and goes........

Do you ever feel superior to others because yours are "authentic" aviator sunglasses?
I do, and it's 10~fold when I put on my bomber jacket and pop in Top Gun.

Do you usually hear music after putting on earmuffs?
No. The ocean.

Have you ever jumped in a cab and yelled "Follow that homeless person!"?
No, I am usually dragging them by their hair .....so, they would be following muah.

Do you become overly emotional whenever you realize you could've had a V8?
Na.

Have you ever uttered the phrase, "Dave Matthews Band speaks to my demographic"?
fuck you. He does.

Are you often overwhelmed by the breadth and variety of insole choices?
Always overwhelmed.

Can you touch your ears with your knees and still unsnap a hernia truss?
Hu?
lol~

Have you ever used a toilet plunger for other than its intended purpose?
Only on plunger Tuesdays.

Does downloading beta software updates make you "feel pirate"?
I am a pirate.

Do you often wonder how many blades people of the future will use to shave?
I can't answer that....

Have you ever Googled on "visible razor burns"?
I prefer to scope those out on FUCKBUCKET.

Did you really enjoy the Cuban food?
Ohhh....he was Cuban?

Have you ever worn a hat or novelty socks to "challenge authority"?
I am authority.

Do you always let your ringtone play in its entirety before you answer a phone call?
Only when it's playin me so horny.

Has your UFO abduction story ever gotten you laid?
By aliens only.

Are you easily offended by "What's with these paraphilic infantilists" comments?
Nope.

Do you frequently use a hand-sanitizer as a breath-freshener?
When out of booze..........
BUT after the Nyquil.

Do you often orgasm to Yellow Page ads as a strategy to save on escort services?
Na....see question 4
 

OK, you're in. Now let's talk about dues...
 

So we have a tie for prophesied messiah! AUTOMATIC SMACKDOWN!!!
 

It's why I'm still partial to the furry gurls.
 

Have you ever considered forming a "Blue Man" type group, but of a different color?
Yes, Mauve.

Have you ever eaten an entire scented candle in one sitting?
Do votive candles count?

When you're on crack, do others often ask what kind of crack you're on?
Frequently. Most perplexing, that.

Would you use the term "impressive" to describe your pornography collection?
Oh, Hell yes.

Do you consider yourself to be a "social drinker" since you are, after all, a "member of society"?
I only drink when I'm alone or with somebody.

Do you avoid flying not because of any safety concern but because you consider it "cheating"?
No, it's because it makes my arms sore.

Have you ever felled a fruit tree because that fruit tree "was talking shit about Jesus and my homies"? Yes. Just now, on my lunch break.

Without looking, can you distinguish between "YES" a new rash or "NO" a new tattoo?
It's hard to keep track. I'm always breaking out in new tattoos.

Do you ever feel superior to others because yours are "authentic" aviator sunglasses?
Yes, of course.

Do you usually hear music after putting on earmuffs?
And why is it always Puccini operas? Why not Verdi, Bellini, Donizetti, Ethel Smyth?

Have you ever jumped in a cab and yelled "Follow that homeless person!"?
Only because it was my boyfriend and I thought he was cheating.

Do you become overly emotional whenever you realize you could've had a V8?
Define "overly."

Have you ever uttered the phrase, "Dave Matthews Band speaks to my demographic"?
Only in church at the "responses."

Are you often overwhelmed by the breadth and variety of insole choices?
Are you being insolent?

Can you touch your ears with your knees and still unsnap a hernia truss?
Seldom these days. Oh, to be young again!

Have you ever used a toilet plunger for other than its intended purpose?
Yes...but how would you know about that?

Does downloading beta software updates make you "feel pirate"?
Yes. And I look forward to each occasion with beta breath.

Do you often wonder how many blades people of the future will use to shave?
I thought Dr. Bunsen Honeydew's invention of the Diesel Shaver was the last word.

Have you ever Googled on "visible razor burns"?
Ouch!

Did you really enjoy the Cuban food?
I enjoyed the Cuban even more.

Have you ever worn a hat or novelty socks to "challenge authority"?
I am wearing them right now, damn you!

Do you always let your ringtone play in its entirety before you answer a phone call?
Yes. It is a great deal more interesting than anyone who would call me. Besides, I don't get many calls as it is: my ringtone is Wagner's "Parsifal." All of it.

Has your UFO abduction story ever gotten you laid?
Only by aliens.

Are you easily offended by "What's with these paraphilic infantilists" comments?
I have to put up with them. It's either that or pee on the couch.


Do you frequently use a hand-sanitizer as a breath-freshener?
No, but I have used a breath freshener as a suppository.

Do you often orgasm to Yellow Page ads as a strategy to save on escort services?
You idiot...I AM an escort service!
 

Truly, you are my favorite uncle!
 

Uncle Nathan is my fav too. Those answers were by far the most entertaining.

I once hitchhiked a car ride up a hill. Can I be in?
 

Works for me.
 

My whacked personality indeed needs correcting. I will entrust it's (re?)development to you ONLY if you can ensure complete and total confidentiality... like any REAL Doctor. ;)
 

Sure thing. I have many full color PRINTED certificates. Shoot...
 

Much enjoyed.