hey everybody :D


i know it's late, but i can't sleep mainly because i wanted to fill everybody in on what's been on my mind lately. first off i wanted to tell everyone thank you for even reading this. the fact that you're taking the time out of your day to hear me blab about life is pretty cool so thanks for listening! haha


basically i can't sleep because i'm so happy. hahaha sounds so ridiculously corny but honestly i feel like a new person. 2009 has started off to be the best year of my life which sounds impossible because 08' was INCREDIBLE! i started a new tv show (WHICH AIRS FEB. 8TH..... AHHH!), i released an album (WHICH RE-RELEASES THIS MONTH TOO :P ), and meatloaf wednesday was invented!! :D

seriously though, just thinking about the opportunities alone that i've been blessed with this year puts a huge smile on my face.. but there's so much more to life than just work (in a good way) and i've realized this because i'm finally really enjoying time at home. i have an incredible group of new (and "old") friends, my family and i have a stronger bond than ever before, and i'm really growing as a person. (no seriously i think i grew an inch...... :P just kidding.)


but honestly i feel like a new person. and in the best way possible. over the past few months i've really just changed my perspective on life and it's really made me mature into a "new me". it's weird, i've even been dressing more "girly" because i've gained a lot of confidence in myself and my appearance. mainly because i've been working out a whole bunch just staying fit and eating healthy... it feels amazing. i even have PINK nail polish on my toes which has nothing to do with confidence but i just find it weird because i haven't worn that since like.. 8th grade... haha. but i've just become a brighter and happier person because i'm finally comfortable in my new home here in california, getting more time to spend with my family and i've been building strong and amazing friendships with new friends.

i've just been trying new things, for example, new hobbies and a new hair color! :P i've even been listening to different genres of music to try to increase my writing skills and well, just because i want to! haha. i never really listened to anything but rock but i've really been into like hip hop and country.. even classic R&B. the classic R&B like aretha and billie holiday, have so much soul and passion in their music... it's been inspiring me and my writing so much lately. i really want my next album to have more passion and soulful songs on it rather than "rah i hate you, you broke my heart" type of songs... haha. think more of john mayer, or duffy.. or even kelly clarkson in her bluesy days.


i think over this next year you all are going to watch me evolve into a new person. and no i'm not "changing" like i promised i wouldn't in LA LA LAND.... but i'm growing. besides teenagers change a million times before they truly find themselves and i'm really beginning to find out more about myself each day.


so don't be scared if i start to wear less black or eye-makeup. haha. i'm not changing.. just maturing.. and you all are helping me so much. each time i meet a fan it boosts my happiness. i wouldn't be doing any of this without you... without your support... without your loyalty... and without your smiles when i look out into the audience.


i love you guys.


now i'm gonna go to bed before my mom yells at me.. hahaha. (i know... that makes me sound REAL cool.)


goodnight everybody!



Happy Superbowl Sunday!! (or as i like to call it, America's Next Top Model Marathon Day!!) :D



-demiiiiii