I'm done hiding...

I have been hiding for 11 years...actually, for my entire life.

I am bald – completely bald.  I have been since 1995!  I have been wearing a wig since then. 

I have had alopecia areata since I was 2 1/2 years old.  It is an autoimmune condition, where my own body attacks its own cells, in this case, my hair follicles.  Since I was small, I have had bald patches on my head.  I hid them as best as I could as a child, but I was brutalized in school for years.  In high school I got better at hiding it, but it was still difficult, especially on windy days.  During my junior year in college, the rest of my head hair fell out, followed by my eyebrows and quite a bit of my body hair (alopecia totalis).  (more info at www.naaf.org)

Why am I telling everyone this now?  Well, let's just say, in the scope of life right now, my hair loss just seems so small now.  I don't want to hide anymore.  I don't want a sweaty head anymore.  I just want to be who I am. 

Telling everyone is absolutely terrifying, but I know it's time.  I have fantasized about how to tell "the world" for many years.  I guess I've just gotten increasingly dissatisfied with my "cover-up".  I'm done.  I am going to do it afraid...do it despite the terror of it.

Tomorrow, I will go to church bald for the first time, facing all my friends, many of whom have never known that I have no hair.  The hiding all ends tomorrrow.

Wish me luck.  I am scared to death, but it is something I have to do.