Its been another busy week what with starting the new job and going out every night:
- Monday - Karaoke in a scairy rough bar (good fun)
- Tuesday - Drinks with 1 of my new housemates
-Wednesday - Drinks with Pip & his BF Steve, Mates from N'Cle
- Thursday - Work related night out- more fun than i was expecting
- Friday- trying to discover the scene- More on that later

But lets get back to the new job, the reason i've moved down here.  I started Monday and there have been moments where I have felt as though I have been swamped with so much information i didn't know where to begin getting through it all. As I don't come from an educational sector background i feel as though its a doubly steep learning curve, not only learning the job but trying to get my head round all the abreviations, acronims, services, products and various partner organisations. Having said that, I have also had times this week where i have felt that once I get to grips with it all, i will fit in and be bloody good at the job. time will tell.  Also there is something about the organisation that seems to attract doctor who fans, told you i'd fit in.

So last night I got in from work and the sun was shining so i went for a couple of beers over the road with one of my housemates, emma. It was good but it gave me a thurst for a few more so I shaved my head (not a good dea after a few beers) and went into town.  Now, whereever I go, either to live or on holiday, I enjoy sitting at the end of the bar and making friends by chatting to people.  But blackpool is different.  There doesn't seem to be that culture of making conversation at the bar.  I am finding this really odd.  As I think i mentioned in my last blog, i have found the community atmosphere more noticable on the gaydar site than in the real world.  But I ended up out on my own last night anyway.  I was there for a while when i noticed someone who i vaguely noticed from the bars in newcastle.  we started chatting and it wasn't long before the subtley negative comments started coming though
"you've moved here? why?"
"nice place to visit but you wouldn't catch me living here"
"Haven't you just left loads of friends back in newcastle"
"you've put on a fair bit of wieght havent you?"
"Your really loanley here arnt you?"
"I give you 6 months before you move back"

Thankfully half way through this conversation I swapped my lagers for diet cokes and this helped me reallise what was going on.

Before Dr who, Russel T Davies and Christopher Ecclestone collaborated on a show called the second coming.  In this show the devil took over a normal guy (the fat guy from the "new customers only" building society adverts).  and this guy would talk to people and, in conversation, bring up there fears, and paranoias which would make them much worse.  This is exactly what this guy was doing.  He was so full of negativity that, if you allowed him too, he would really bring you down.  I made sure this wasn't going to happen.

He hated the fact that i had moved on from the beers "let me buy you a pint", "Go on, I'm on holiday, i'm sure i can afford it more than you can", "Just cos i buy you a pint doesn't mean i'm wanna shag ya", "HAVE A PINT", "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? HAVE A PINT, " "WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?"

What the hell was I doing talking to that peice of shit in the first place? But walking away from him made me feel stronger.  I won't deny I have paranoias and worries about moving down here.  The lack of community atmosphere on the scene means I won't be able to fit in the way  did in newcastle, but you know what? It just means I will find other ways to find my space in this town. and i will.