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Current mood:  catalyzed
My friend, Bobb G. asked me if I was "complaining about the tough times". I suppose this was based on my last blog post. Well, Bob, they're ALL tough times. I have typed many a negative, ranting blog on these issues that was later deleted because I was sure no one wants to hear how hard a chick living in Nashville pursuing her dream has it.
Career-wise and life-wise, I have some good things going on now to be happy about...and I am. I'm grateful for a lot of things. I have food to eat. I'm healthy. I have a roof over my head. Great friends. A wonderful husband. I am surrounded by amazingly talented, loving people. My life is good. I am one of the LUCKY, LUCKY ones getting to pursue the thing that gives me life and breath. I finally made it to Music City U.S.A., Nashville, Tennessee.
But I get pretty pissed off about some things from time to time too. Just remember, Bobb G., you asked.
My current frustrations have to do with the politics of booking gigs. The bookers/owners want known artists/bands with a following who will pack their club full of people who will buy food, buy drinks, leave tips, etc. At this point, I do not HAVE a following. I am trying to BUILD a following, which is impossible without performing a bunch of gigs.
Did I mention that most Nashville gigs do not PAY? And if I book a full band (or my husband is out of town and I have to get another guitar player for a duo) I have to PAY these people to play with me. Therefore, I LOSE money. I am paying money out of my pocket in order to play a gig in front of 10 people -- with the worry that I will never get booked again at said venue because I didn't "draw". (And if you're one of those 10 people, ROCK ON. Keep going to people's gigs!!!!)
I've received full-page emails with a cost breakdown on how much it costs owners to run their businesses. How much money they're paying to provide me with a bar in which to play my 30 minute time slot (shared with two other writers). How much money I need to MAKE THEM in order to justify them allowing me to play there FOR FREE.
News flash for these people: I have a self-financed record to promote and sell!!! On a bargain basement budget, it cost thousands of dollars to make and print. It costs $3000 a MONTH to hire a publicist to get you press and another $3000 to hire someone to "work" Americana radio so that you have a chance of getting played on the circuit of Americana stations -- which the average person has never even heard of!!! Hell, the average person does not even know what "Americana" music is. Non-musicians ask me what kind of music I do and I get nothing but blank stares when I say "Americana". Needless to say, I don't have that kind of money to hire those kinds of people. (Otherwise, I wouldn't be complaining about it. I'd just be hiring them.) Instead, I'm doing what I can on my own.
I am NOT complaining about working for my career. No "boo-hoo me". Everyone in this town is doing what I'm doing. At least, many of them are. And some are working way harder than me, to be sure. And some have busted their humps for years now, barely keeping their heads above water, but happy to still be here in the great Nashville tide pool. And God Bless those kids!!!!! They are my HEROES.
But as I spend these many hours at my computer, I stare at high dollar ads for a new "country" music star whose multi-million dollar mansion I cleaned to make money when I first moved to Nashville. (I was fired for leaving a spaghetti noodle in the drain of the sink.) I listen to her songs being played on major radio stations while I'm working my part-time day job.
I don't envy the money. I've never had any. The main reason I always wanted some of it was so I could buy my parents something to live in besides a trailer. Not that there's anything wrong with calling a trailer "home". I spent much of my life doing just that. And I take offense at how often popular culture depicts trailer dwellers as a bunch of inbred, beer-guzzling rednecks.
I'm just tired, people. Tired of zillionaires who buy their daughters record deals. Tired of contests where the loudest singer wins. Tired of country boy-bands who sell more records than God would, if He had a record out. Tired of a genre of music that is supposed to be the independent artists' alternative to the mainstream music business who runs their show the SAME WAY…whoever has the most money to spend on their career wins. Tired of trying to design the perfect "one sheet" or jumping through whatever current hoops are in place as a way of making artists prostrate to the industry. Tired of the fact that the only way an amazing artist like Amy Winehouse can get worldwide attention is through tabloid antics. I'm tired of anyone whose last name is Spears.
I'm actually feeling much better than I was when I posted the "mood update" or blog or whatever it was that got all this started. And, hell no, I don't expect or want anyone to feel sorry for me. I'm damn lucky!!! I just want to say this: please forgive me when I get depressed or ornery. As Crash in Bull-Durham said, "we're dealing with a lot of shit".
But, as some other wise character also said "If you can't run with the big dogs, then stay on the porch".
Arf.
P.S.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU to all the reviews who've written about me, the dj's who've played me, the venue owners who've booked me, the people who've bought my record, and those who've taken time out of their day to send me sweet, encouraging messages. You owe me nothing. I owe you a debt of gratitude.
Donna
2:47 AM
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