Now let's get to the countless montages that we saw, which just doesn't count as entertainment, it counts as a FILLING TIME.

*  Jack walks around in towels or is naked.  Why wasn't that part of the show!?

*  Kevin is not gay, he's straight.  Really he is.  REALLY.  For reals, people.  He's not fooling.  Loves to put the P in the V.  Over and over.  Just ask him.

*  Fierce.  Guess who that was about?  (clue:  not Asians)

*  Elisa's planet has put out an APB on her and her heartlight is broken

Elisa talked about her oddities and how great it is that she's teaching children that it's okay to be different.  (!!)  She also said that her "spit marks" are her way of blessing the clothes she makes and that's what her clients pay for.  You know, I'll keep buying my heathen clothes from Target that are (relatively) spit free, thank you very much.  Also, I don't need my clothes blessed.  I just need them to not cling to any lumps on my midsection.  Amen!

Elisa also talked about how she always writes backwards.  You know, cuz she wanted to be like Leonardo DaVinci.  (Thank goodness she didn't take a shine to Van Gogh, eh?)  She then informed Heidi that, "'Runway' backwards is yawnur.  It's a yawner."  Heidi immediately ignored Elisa and that's the last we heard from her for the rest of the episode. 

Next, the "Ricky Cries A Lot" montage was shown.  That was actually interesting because they showed behind the scenes stuff when he was talking to the producer off screen and he couldn't even say his name because he was crying too hard.  HAHAHA!  (I can laugh, because that used to be my job as a producer on elimiDATE.  Button pushing and making folks cry.  $60,000 I spent on college.  Yeah.)   But sadly, Ricky shed no tears last night.  In Ricky's words:  "I didn't realize I cried like a woman."  Swift kid, that one.  Very swift.

So since Ricky didn't cry, Carmen decided to take that task upon herself.  Maybe it was because of the thing she had sticking out of her hair...

...Or maybe it's because she's batshit crazy insecure.  If you remember, Carmen sent her model down the runway for the Menswear Challenge in a poorly constructed jacket, pants and a piece of fabric fashioned in some sort of "faux blouse dickie."  Carmen cried last night on the show that she didn't feel missed after she was auf'd.  What?  Did she need a montage of all the designers weeping and holding framed pictures of her?  Did she need people to hold her auf'd outfit in their hands and yell "WHY!?" at the sky?   I'd like to address Carmen personally right now:  YOU NEEDY, NEEDY DIPSHIT.  Get it together.  It's television AND a competition.  Nobody cares.  Everybody's out for themselves.  If you want hugs and compassion, call up Lifetime. 

And then Carmen cried again when Heidi inadvertently said that her design was the worst of the whole season.  Carmen snidely said, "Thanks, Heidi."  And just like Elisa, Heidi ignored her.  (Or maybe she couldn't see through her bangs who was talking.  Hmmm.) 

I admit that I did enjoy seeing the clip about Michael Kors completely losing it during the WWE Divas challenge.  I also enjoyed hearing the producer off-screen saying: "SETTLE!" to him.  (Cuz that's also been my job in the past...)  Just seeing snooty Kors break-up uncontrollably let me see that he's human and I could actually like this guy.  It was awesome.

Then there was a montage about Chris' infectious laugh (Zzzzz) and then about everybody's wrestling names and it was at this point that I realized that I'd eaten all the Veggie Chips and was upset that I didn't have any more.  The only thing moderately amusing in this montage was watching Jillian beat up her dress form and that Ricky's name would be "The Mexican Jumping Bean."  Snooze.

But what did perk me up was a question (from a Bravo viewer) directed at Top American Designer Michael Kors:  "Why does he only wear a black blazer, black t-shirt and jeans ALL the time?"  THANK YOU, BRAVO VIEWER!  I've been wondering this since forever ago.  (MK looks like a cheap maitre'd from the 80's in my opinion.)  MK gave his long awaited answer:  He said it was so he didn't have to think about what he was wearing.  Um, okay, Top Designer Michael Kors.  We then saw some sweet pics of MK from the 80's.  His blonde afro was PRICELESS.  He apparently abused fashion like hillbillies abuse meth.  So now he's easy-peasy.  I guess I can understand that a little bit.  My hoodies have been making the rounds a little more often than I care to admit...  cuz they are easy-peasy.

Next we explored Heidi's lack of "gasping" the English language.  HAHA!  That really made me laugh.  She meant "grasp" but said "gasp."  Isn't she precious?  I just want to rub her behind the ears and give her a flea dip and a Snausage.

Next, (isn't this show over yet?!)  it was called out that Kevin's elimination was the worst decision in Project Runway history.  YEAH!  And instead of admitting their mistake, MK and Nina just ripped into Kevin again to which he said, "Oh God, are we there again?"  Or something like that.  (I was trying to eat my pen at that point.  Hungry...)  But Kevin said that he was glad he was cut so Christian could stay.  Gotta say, that Not-Gay-Kevin seems like a really Not-Gay-Nice-Guy.

At the very end Christian got "Fan Favorite."  NOT a shocker.  So low on the "fierce" factor.

The show ended with everyone guessing as to who was going to win the season.  A lot of folks picked Rami.  WHY!?  He knows how to do ONE thing.  He drapes.  Great.  Hang some curtains if you're so passionate about it.  But honestly, it's like going to a restaurant and wanting a steak but the chef is only passionate about liver.  That's not gonna work for me.  I really, really hope that Chris is allowed to show at Fashion Week and not Rami.

And now... just because we love to hate her, it's our little miss grumpy-pants, Bossy Cow.  Pleasant as ever.  She said maybe 6 words the whole episode.  Tim Gunn even commented about how uptight she is.  She shrugged.  So not a fierce Asian.

So that's it for the reunion snooze-fest.  I miss the alcohol on this show.  Remember the season (2 maybe?) where one of the contestants got really pissed (and "pissed" as in drunk, she was from England) and walked off?  See, that's television!  Fights!  Drunks!  YAY!  Ah, good times.

And now... we wait for the 2-part finale.  I hate how they break it up over 2 weeks.  Grrr!

Also, I'd like to formally announce that the next show that I will be "rounding-up" will be Top Chef!  I've never watched it before (I know!) but I keep hearing amazing things about it.  So that craziness starts March 12th.  Will you be in or out? 

(Go to www.bravotv.com/projectrunway and check out the final collections, blogs, and Bossy Cow's Fashion Week show.  MOOO!   I mean, enjoy!)