First of all, I'd like to assert that I'm sorry this blog is late.  I have bronchitis (which is neither fashion-forward nor trendy) and I sadly have about as much energy as Jillian's forehead.  When I cough (which is every five minutes), I make Chris's laugh sound like a nun's soulful whisper on Easter Sunday.  My 3-day-old bed head hair rival's Christian's mane for the title of "Most Fierce."  (Although mine stands up straight without a flat iron!  HA HA!  Neener-neener!)  And the draping of my blanket over my shoulders would make Rami mutter, "Amateur."  But I will try my best to not suck.  Unless it's on a cough drop.  Oh yeah!  It's that kind of blog. 

Now that Sweet P has been "auf'd" (BOOO!), our 4 remaining designers are given their final challenge by Bangs McGee, (aka Heidi Klum).  They all have 5 months to create 12 looks.  They are also given $8000 dollars.  (Do you know how many hats Ricky could make with $8000?!?)  The designers, Heidi and Tim Gunn have a toast on the rooftop with some (blatant) product placement by Moet.  (So to be fair, here's my own product placement:  My tissues have been provided by Puffs Plus with Lotion, my medicine by Tylenol Cough and Purell hand sanitizer. My tea of the day is Trader Joe's Jade Oolong and breakfast/lunch and dinner has been sponsored by Reduced Fat Jiff Peanut Butter and an Oneida teaspoon.  Oh and sanity by Prozac.)

And now my favorite part of the entire Project Runway series.  When Tim Gunn goes to the designers HOMES.  AHHH!  I would positively plotz if Tim Gunn showed up at my door.  My happy fists would turn into dipshit fists and I'd probably knock myself out from overwhelming glee and shock.  But honestly, I'd just love to have a little tea party with Sir Gunn in my home.  We could talk about the new avant-garde fashions in hoodies and how leggins are ruining America.  Ah to dream!

Okay, back to reality.  Let's talk about the ridiculousness that is Tim Gunn arriving at each designer's home via a Saturn.  Now, this is nothing against Saturn.  I owned a Saturn for 10 years and LOVED it.  It ran great, was cost effective and did me very well.  It was the first car I bought on my own (and I bought it when they used to sing to you to "introduce" you to your new car) and I've always been proud of it.  But seeing Sir Gunn in the front seat of a Saturn was about a natural as seeing this coming down the street:

I see Tim in a Jag or a Maserati.  Something that says, "Class and sophistication."  Not, "I just graduated from college and only eat processed food with my fingers."

Anyways…

First Tim Gunn shows up at Christian's shoe box apartment in NYC.  Christian's workroom is about as big a my bathroom.  Thank goodness Christian is only 80 pounds soaking wet so he fits into his tiny domicile happily and effortlessly.  Christian showed Tim pics of his family and from when he was a hair dresser.  (THAT explains his handiness with a flat iron!)  He also raved about going to England for 3 years of fashion school.  I found it interesting that he didn't say what school.  Perhaps Parsons had a hand in that omission, perhaps?  Hmmm…

Christian's collection is almost complete, as expected.  His theme for his collection is a romantic gothic look to which he made his signature (or is it predictable?) black jacket.  He also shrunk his avant-garde dress into a weird neck muffler that seems like an asthma attack waiting to happen.  So honestly, what we saw during this visit "worried me."  It felt like garments I've already seen from him.  Oh, except for the pants made out of feathers.  I'd NOT seen that before.  And honestly, I preferred my life better that way.

Next, Tim Gunn visited Jillian, who was also working out of NYC.  Her apartment was awesome.  LOVE the big window overlooking the water.  (I'm looking out my window right now at a cement wall.  Sigh.)  Jillian explains that she was very inspired by the last challenge and decided to make 15^th century armor her inspiration.  We see she's made a really wonderfully detailed black coat (sense a theme?).  Over all though, Tim Gunn looks at her collection and says: "Your palate is a cloudy day."  So hopefully she injects some color into her armor so that it stops suffering from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and consequently being sad.

She then takes Tim to Long Island to visit her family.  Her mother tells to Tim that a clairvoyant woman told her that she'd have 3 children and one would be famous.  I'm sure the other two sisters are thrilled with this as they've already been sorted into the "run of the mill loser" pile. 

Rami in LA is next on Tim's hit list.  Now when he introduces the people in his house, it's incredibly overlapped and did Rami introduce the guy as his fiancé?  (Field producers!  GET A CLEAN TAKE!  OR put up captions!  Sheesh!  This shouldn't be that hard in Season 4!!  BAH!  Production 101!) 

Sorry.  Sometimes I have a hard time leaving work in the office...

I really "enjoyed" hearing about Rami's life in Jerusalem for the billionth time. I get it!!!  He's not from here.  FAB!  Got it in the 3rd episode.  But I honestly did appreciate the story about his mom.  She was Miss Jordan in the 60's and she was GORGEOUS.  Beautiful, beautiful face.  So classic and striking.  She sadly died when Rami was 5.  Even though he has a very supportive and loving step-mom it broke my heart that his birth mom isn't around to see her son shine.  That stuff always gets to me.  I may have used a few more tissues than usual during that part of the story…  Sniff.

Rami's theme is Joan of Arc.  (WHY are all the themes goth, armor oriented? WTF?!  Do these people need to borrow some Prozac?!)  But I have to hand it to him, the clothes had lots of construction and detail, not all draping.  But it wasn't without its problems.  Tim Gunn said it best: "Your garments seem heavy.  This is a heavy duty f'ing coat.  Hold back a bit."  Honestly, his line looked suitable for a fashionable Siberian in subzero climates.  Brr.

Last but DEFINITELY not least, is Chris in NYC.  His line was the most risky in my opinion.  He used HUMAN HAIR extensions as trim on a lot of his garments.  I thought it was stunning and creative.  His theme for his line was 95% fashion, 5% costume.  Basically, "beauty with a quirk."  And I'm so on board.  His stuff looks like NOTHING that I've seen and I wanted to touch it.  (If I want to touch something that means I like it.  Ahem...)  But Tim Gunn was on a different page and compared his designs to being inside a stinky monkey house.  Ouch!  (Maybe Tim had spent too much time in his Magilla Gorilla monkey car?)

Chris took Tim to meet his friends in NYC.  His friend has a very eccentric house to which my reaction was: "HOW does this guy dust?!"

I mean, everything was a knick-knack!  Or a statue!  No flat surfaces!  I actually heard my Swiffer (more product placement on my end!) crying in the closet and start to write out its last will and testament.  Needless to say, it looks like Chris' friend may also have a slight problem with figuring out when something is "too much." 

Finally, it's 5 days until the Fashion Week Runway Show and everybody convenes back in NYC.  I don't know how Rami didn't shit a brick on the plane knowing that TSA was going through his bags and doing God knows what to his garments.  Also, every time I fly to NYC, my bags end up in Detroit.  Even on direct flights.  (I have no idea.)  So I've made a note to myself, when I get on Project Runway someday (HAHHAHAHAHA!  If it's still going in 2050!) I'm going to live in NY so it's only a cab ride.  Although, that has its problems too, doesn't it?  Hmmm…

After sharing some laughs over carefully placed/shot Bud Lite bottles, it's time for Chris and Rami to have a fashion-walk-off on the runway to see who the third is going to Fashion Week.  Jillian helps Rami get ready and Christian and Chris reunite in happy working bliss.  Although Christian wasn't really keen to "brush" the hair on Chris' dress.  (Maybe if he'd asked Christian to flat iron the hair he would have done it?)

Now before getting to the runway, I'd like to scold Bravo for a second.  YOUR PICTURES WERE HORRIBLE THIS WEEK!  WHY!?  The following pics are hard to see the detail of their garments so I'm sorry.  Write a nasty letter to Bravo.  And also go to their website:  www.bravotv.com/projectrunway

Rami sends a very heavy blue jacket down the runway first.  It's beautiful, but SO HEAVY looking.  Plus, the collar seems a little "Jillian and Bossy Cow" from their avant-garde look, don't you think?

Next he sends a gray dress that just smacks of "Working Girl" to me.  I don't know why.  There aren't any shoulder pads, but there's something about the color scheme and the draping and God, what is it!?  I can't put my finger on it, but it's just soooo 80's.

Last was a beatuiful evening dress.  Except... it had little side dothingies on the hips that reminded me of this:

Yeeeeahhhh.... That's not what I want my hips to look like.

But speaking of hair (YEAH!  I SAID IT!), Chris showed his 3 garments next and yes, the hair made an appearance.

I love these two looks.  I love the hair.  I admit it.  LOVE THE HAIR.  The more I see it, the more I love it.  What a great risk!  Plus, the bottom of the first dress is made with black chrome safety pins.  SAFETY PINS!  Each row (which I counted 8) took 8 hours each to make!  Like a modern couture design.  SO IMPRESSED.

His evening dress was beautiful, although the model could NOT walk as it was way too tight at the bottom.  (Which you can't see here cuz Bravo dropped the ball on pics this week.  Shame on you, Bravo!)  So that was a problem that would need to be rectified.

Michael Kors agreed that the hair is creepy, but it makes the clothing interesting because he thought outside of the box.  Then he rightly called the evening gown a "velvet condom."  It was remarkable, but in the end, condom-esque.  (I hope Trojan doesn't think about some weird product placement now...)

Bangs McGee said that each of his pieces were creative and she'd never seen them before.  Nina said they were nice, but she'd NEVER wear the hair.  (But she wears the hair on her head, what's the difference?!  At least the hair on his clothes was brushed.  Snap, Nina.  I went there.)

The judges were impressed that Rami didn't send down 3 Greecian goddesses.  But were concerned about the volume of the coat.  Nina gushed about the Working Girl dress which made my stomach curl.  Oh crap.  Rami is going to win.

The judges decide that even though both lines are a bit dark and almost "too much," they love that Rami really listened to their advice from the season and that he has a commercial viability.  They praised Chris for his costuming abilities and the fact that his designs are just naturally intriguing.  But in the end, it's Rami who was given the Golden Ticket to enter Bryant Park for Fashion Week while Chris was given a cab voucher back to his (monkey house) apartment. 

So here's the thing.  I think Rami is a fabulous designer, but he's not my style from the 3 garments I saw on the runway.  I'd be really interested to see his complete line in his studio.  (He lives in LA, if it's open to the public, maybe a field trip is in order!)  But for me, I wish it was Chris.  I thought he really pushed the envelope.  I thought he really has a unique voice that doesn't remind me of any current designer out there.  Whereas Rami has produced things that remind me of other garments.

Sigh.  I guess this is one of many reasons why they say life isn't fair.  (Cheese being fattening is another reason, by the way.)  I am glad though that Sweet P and Chris were the two decoys in the Project Runway fashion show.  I loved these two folks and I'm glad they got to be seen even if they were out of the running for the grand prize.  Hooray!  I hope good things come to both of them!

I'm hard pressed to figure out who's going to take it all out of the final 3.  It's anybody's bag at this point.  Like the show-down between Rami and Chris, it's going to be a matter of taste and nothing more. 

And Gold-Star Blog Reader, marivic, pointed out the competition of "Sew Not Over!"  DO watch the following video!

http://video.bravotv.com/player/?id=220595

It's an online challenge with all the Season 4 contestants (except Simone, Sweet P and Bossy Cow).  They each made 3 garments and it's up to YOU to pick the winner!  Voting closes on March 7th.  DO LOOK!  DO VOTE!  I was REALLY impressed with people who I thought blew on the show.  It was also nice to see more from Jack since I like his stuff so much and he was soooo screwed.  (COME BACK NEXT SEASON, JACK!) 

So now we wait.  Who wins?  Who loses?  Is Nina going ask Rami to marry her?  Will guest judge Posh Spice smile?  Will Heidi's bangs eat her face?  Will Chris be brought back in a third comeback?!  Only 4 more days!  Happy fists!