I Submit to Bush
(I Now See The Light)
I used to be a harsh critic of this administration, but no more!
Here's why:
I've recently concluded that George W. Bush is an honorable man who really cares deeply about regular folks like you and I.
He even cares deeply about the poor Iraqi people! Yep.
Not only that, I'm now absolutely convinced that his environmental policies take the long view towards protecting our precious global resources, like the air, and the water, for instance.
After observing almost six years of the Bush administration, I also no longer have any doubt whatsoever that he (and his majority political party) honestly want excellent education for the young AND compassionate affordable health care for the old and/or disabled.
His critics seriously misunderstand him
George W. Bush is simply a beautiful God-loving person with no faults and he never makes a mistake either.
However, if (by some strange and totally unlikely accident) he DID make an error, he'd certainly admit to it and own up to it immediately and humbly (long before any further damage is done), because he's such a fabulous person with incredible integrity (and no foolish pride whatsoever).
Also, I now realize that Bush is not at all greedy, nor is he a major hypocrite, nor is he a pathetic self-serving bicycle-riding lying chickenhawk coward*, nor is he a dirty rotten louse who is only looking out for himself and a handful of his lousy stinking dishonorable war-profiteering buddies.
Nope. Not smirk-boy.
George W. Bush is a role model for our children!
Yep. He sets a fantastically unselfish example of generosity, self-discipline, courage, honor, personal responsibility, and personal accomplishment.
Why, just think of all of his wonderful successes! The mind boggles. If only one had the time to list them all!
So I shall never again question him, his goons, nor any of his brilliant peace-loving policies, ever again.
Like so many "loyal" defenders, I now place all of my faith in these nearly flawless men (who are 99.9 percent perfect).
Yes, they are peace-lovers AND truth-lovers, epitomized!
Therefore:
I totally and absolutely submit to Bush.
Won't you join us?
We are the American people.
The Constitution?
According to Bush, "it's just a G*d-damned piece of paper!"
Yeee haw!
We must not question Bush's authority as our almighty leader.
He is, after all, The Decider. He's even told us so. On TV.
We must stand behind this great man with his staggeringly kind conservative compassion. He has proven himself to be exceedingly honest, and oh-so-brave, and an amazingly wise and thoughtful human being.
"Bring 'em on!" he once said about the terrorists/insurgents in regards to our troops, etc..
Surely, this honorable pillar of truth (and wisdom) will go down in history as the person most likely to replace Jesus as God's only begotten son. Because George W. Bush is so selfless, and so pure in heart, and so forgiving. And so full of joy and comfort for everyone. He is just sooo loving. And sooo true.
And he's not AT ALL self-righteous in any way, shape, or form.
He's always seeking what's best for all concerned (you can see it in his beady eyes) purely out of the goodness of his gentle loving peaceful heart, with almost no regard for himself nor his sleazy cronies.
Take the Pledge of Allegiance with me:
I Submit to Bush (I Now See The Light).
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* Cindy Sheehan reference.