I've become one of "them".  Pill popping, therapy-seeking, conflicted THEM.  I always thought "them" HAD to be a neurotic, too-busy, selfish mess.  I'm coming to find out "them" is just and adult.  Allegedly.  In years, anyway. 

I was thinking about that the other day.  One of those "This is me...REALLY?!" moments.  When I was little I could never picture what my future would be.  There was always a big blank spot after a certain age.  I could never look TOO forward.  Probably because I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop.  And why not?  That's how "young" life was.  Good place to live?  Shoe drop.  Back to the house w/no indoor bathroom.  Enough to eat?  Shoe drop.  A summer spent surviving on cantaloupe and oatmeal.  Brand new clothes?  Shoe drop.  Let's see what's in the church bag.  New used car?  Shoe drop.  Yard art. 

It was ALWAYS like that.  I learned from a very young age that life is never what you want it to be.  It's never what you expect.  And perhaps it's best to NOT expect.  If life gives you lemons, they're most likely rotten. 

I guess given all those life lessons, I'm pretty well-adjusted right now.  I mean aside from the depression, PTSD, and generalized anxiety disorder.  What?  You mean that's not everybody?  Yeah I take meds to make it through the day and more meds to actually sleep at night.  But that's preferable to the "before" picture.  That was NOT a pretty picture.  That was like where's Waldo, magic eye and a jigsaw with missing pieces all scrambled together.  You try figuring out what's what and see how far YOU get.  Ha.  That's what I thought. 

I can't complain.  I have a good life.  I'm still here to figure out that I HAVE a life and that I can figure out how to live it.  Even if I AM one of "them".