...It was an office party. Brightly coloured lights were strung around all the windows and people were helping themselves to food and drink laid across several desks that had been pulled together...:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
Sausage rolls, triangular cut sandwiches, even punch with pieces of fruit floating in it like cancerous clots.
By God! Look at all the people! What the hell did they all have to be so happy about!
He couldn't be seen, no one turned to look at him and they did not turn away when he approached them, they just, kind of melted through him, he was a ghost here.
A huge banner was hung just beneath the ceiling across the whole back wall of the room. It declared in big bold letters, "Serial Killer caught!" Beneath it was a smaller banner, "Congratulations Ames!"
Ames? Why, why, why did he know that name?
The room became quiet. The man of the hour at the head of the throng of people now, movement caught his eye off to the left, his office, well, cubicle was occupied, he could se movement through the crack, he opened the door the rest of the way.
His breath became choked, Denley was bonking Susan 'big tits' Moran on his desk! Denley was covered in blood, his neck hanging open in ragged flaps, Susan was beneath him on the table, only problem was her head wasn't where it should have been, it was on top of Arthur's PC, screaming at Denley to "Do it! Do it harder, do it! Do it NOW!"
He pulled the door shut. Cold chill creeping into his non-existent form.
What did that mean? That by killing them both they could now be with each other?
So what, he thought, meant nothing.
Over at the punch bowl he caught sight of the old fart he'd offed from 'Crumbling cunts acres'. He smiled at Arthur and offered him a glass of punch, filled from the cupped hand of his own severed arm, it appeared someone could see him after all.
And look! Just look at this! His pretty young Sarah, if that was her name, she was frantically going through the crowd, "Who's got my intestines!" she cried, "Who's got my fucking intestines, I'M DYING FOR A SHIT! WHO'S GOT MY INTESTINES!"
People didn't seem to be taking much notice of her though, she was of no more substance than he was. They were getting ready to hear the great man speak. The guy who was one day going to be the big man of the Met. The man who had brought down the terrible serial killer that had stalked like a coward amongst their ranks, picking them off.
Where is she Arthur? It seems like just about everyone is here, you recognise that 'lady' over there don't you, oh right, maybe not, she does kinda look like a lump of charcoal. As he thought this the indescribable lump of black charcoal waved. Her teeth, still white and shiny became a rictus and one good eye glared at him from beneath her blackened forehead from which wisps of crisped hair hung.
He knew who he was looking for. His dear sweet Julie.
"If we can just wait a moment," the young detective told the crowd.
"We're just waiting on a late arrival" he advised.
The crowd tittered as if this was the height of good taste. From his point by the door Arthur could still hear Denley groaning and straining in his office, he moved away, he had no need to hear of their gory union.
She should have been mine! Fucking prick!
"AAAAAARTHUR! ARTHURRRRRRRRRRR!"
Was that her voice, Julie?
Everyone clapped as the double doors opened and his nice new friend walked in.
Heather looked as if she had been slapped in the face with the penis of a camel. She really hadn't had the time to adjust yet and she was having some trouble walking, something had eaten off her toes, along with her ears, nose and fingers.She was all stumps as she stumbled into the front of the crowd. A dark red patch spread over the middle of her jeans, Arthur realised that this was because whatever else had happened her genitals had also been eaten away.
Why? Why was he being subjected to this, this carnival!
"Arthur! Come to me" there was no mistaking that was her voice.
He needed to talk to her.
Cameras flashed and people began to clap, all but ignoring the pretty young Scottish girl as she tottered like a buoy on the sea. They had come to celebrate a hero and no one spared a thought for Arthur as he wandered back down the corridor in search of the owner of that provocative voice.
For hours he searched. Up and down, in and out of offices. Once her voice spoke to him from right behind a door! He had thrown it open only to see an eddy of smoke disperse. It became clear he wasn't going to get what he wanted, oh no, he was just the working stiff in all this.
This was yet another disappointment. Another fucking tease.
As light began to creep through the windows casting everything in tones of grey he realised the office was empty. The party had wrapped up some time ago. Just the ghost of laughter remained, that and the empty paper plates and plastic cups, some with clots still in them.
As if preordained he made his way back through the floors to his office, the only place in this whole crummy building he had ever really been part of.
Heart heavy with sorrow he longed for Julie. None of this whole shitty thing made sense but everyone else had been here, why not her! Was she not his first, his ticket of admission?
Behind his desk he could see drips of gore running into the back of his computer where Susan 'big tits' Moran's head had been, across the table other indescribable runners of bodily fluids were mixed in with the blood. In his death dream it stank.
Oh dear boy…no one to fill your dance card?
"Where is she!" he thumped his hands on the table. He felt balked, jilted, and hard done to, he had been promised!
You don't always get what you want dear boy, you of aaaaaaaall people should know that.
Arthur woke up...
Excerpts copyright Jackie Coupe 2006
Official review by Chainsaw Sally
Chainsaw Sally's opinion
She gave it 5/5 and said:
Like the first book of this series (Witness: The White Volume), a very original piece. I have to say I enjoyed this one more, however. The "protagonist" - if that's what you can call this slimy little psychotic jerk - though not anyone I'd ever want to meet in real life, makes for very entertaining reading material. Also, the story seems to have a more cohesive flow than the first book did. Certainly, there is more action, which appeals to my very American lack-of-attention-span (I'm jaded, what can I say?).
I recommend it. You can still follow the storyline if you haven't read the first one, but of course, certain details will make more sense to those who start at the beginning. April 'Monique' Burill aka Chainsaw Sally
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