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Current mood:  bitchy Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping
Oxfam is a brilliant humanitarian charity that fights global poverty. www.oxfam.org
In the UK, they run a set of second hand shops which depend on donations from the general public and these donations - clothes, books, CDs, DVDs etc - are being sold at a very reasonable price and all proceeds go to charity. Brilliant. So you get a bargain, and get to do some charity work at the same time - which is why it's great to shop at Oxfam.
Or is it?
Well, with all due respect to Oxfam, they don't produce their own products and rely entirely on donations. Sometimes they receive great stuff, sometimes they get real shitty trash - but they try to sell it all anyway. The trick is simply to avoid the shit and buy the good stuff.
Earlier this week, I went for an audition which was for the part of a busy City excutive in a suit and tie who needs to grab a quick snack during his busy day at the office. The casting brief was very clear: very smart city executive, super smart suit and this guy looks like he makes more in a month than most people do in a year. So I arrived at the casting studio, and I see that well, about half the actors who turned up did actually receive the casting brief, the other half didn't.
They were wearing Oxfam chic. And not just Oxfam chic, it was the dead man Oxfam chic (DMOC) look.
What is that DMOC look? It's simple. Imagine some poor widow who's husband has just died at the age of 89. And after the funeral, a friend gently tells her, "it's time to clear out his things, keep what you want, and the stuff you don't need, well, we can give it to Oxfam. They'll be able to sell it off and raise some money for their great charity work."
So the poor widow gathers the old man's clothes and shoes brings it down to Oxfam. The clothes smell and look like they've just come from a 89 year old dead man's closet, but the charity gladly accepts the donations and doesn't ask too many questions from the kind old widow.
An hour after she leaves the shop, our poor actor walks in and asks the shop manager behind the counter, "Excuse me, I need to get a suit and tie in a hurry for an audition tomorrow, do you have any?"
The manager replies, "I've got some there but they're all too big for you, but someone's just brought some of this in earlier and I think they'll fit you."
The poor actor purchases the dead man's suit and tie and even took his shoes, all for a very reasonable price - and that money is now furthering Oxfam's great work. However, the moment he walks into that casting studio, the casting director is thinking, "We said successful business executive in the City, and this guy go raids his great grandfather's closet for the DMOC look. Can he even follow basic instructions? He's probably a nutter, an idiot or a rebel - either way he'll be difficult to work with on set. NEXT!"
OK, I don't expect many in my industry to match my satorial standards (only two have so far actually, an English director called Joe and a Norwegian actor called Odin) - but for fuck's sake, what the fuck were you thinking? DMOC look? Perhaps if you were up for the part of some senile old man in nursing home, yes the DMOC look would be good. Or some retro 70s piece where the DMOC look would fit right in.
You can actually get a pretty decent look suit, shirt and tie from places like Primark all for £30 only. It ain't Saville Row, but at least it's not DMOC. For some of these actors, just to come into London, have lunch in London would've cost them about £10-£15 already.
As an actor, it is your responsiblity to have at least one or two respectable formal outfits for auditions and sometimes you'll be expected to provide your own costume for a part. I have 18 suits and 400+ ties counting, but I am a bit extreme. A craftman invests in his tools and an actor needs to invest in his costumes. Even if you're not a man who regularly wears a suit and tie or even likes the formal look, trying to protest against wearing a suit with the DMOC look when a £10k advertising contract is on the line is a pretty stupid idea.
Tell you what, give me £10k, and I'll wear the DMOC look. What the heck, I'll run through Trafalgar Square stark bollock naked with a Turkey on my head for that price. Yet these poor actors can't be asked to make an effort to dress the part for an audition even when £10k is on the line. Go figure.
What kind of attitude is it from these actors? Are they just total fucking retards? You go through all that effort to get training, to get an agent, and you get to the stage in your career when you get considered for an audition for a prominent brand name commercial that is worth £10k buy-out - and you turn up with the DMOC-look. I just wanted to take some of them aside and ask them, "excuse me, but do you realize you look like you're wearing the clothes of an 89 year old dead man that he bought back in 1979? Have you even read the casting brief before putting these clothes on?"
Like I've said at the start, I respect and support the great work of Oxfam as a charity. And yes I do pop into their stores in London when I do pass one and look for bargains. By all means, shop @ Oxfam, but do recognize the difference between a great bargain for something gorgeous and a dead man's leftovers.
Alex
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POP! - 20 Hits
By Erasure
Release date: 24 November, 1992 |
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12:03 AM
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