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IMPALER



Last Updated: 12/6/2009

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Status: Married
City: D/FW
State: Texas
Country: US
Signup Date: 8/10/2006

Who Gives Kudos:


Thursday, October 08, 2009 
Why hello my imaginary friends as well as my secret hipster enemies. I bring scattered news as well as an offer for free booze to feed the alcoholic demon beast that makes you fun to be around in social settings. Whoa, wait a second, not so fast Boris. The free booze comes with a rage inducing, licorice tasting catch. First I'll treat you to some news combined with without of place, useless knowledge thrown in the mix to keep your attention focused away from your alcohol withdraw "shakes" so you can focus on the magical words in front of your lazy eye.

For example: Christopher Columbus and the rest of the European Jerks in the 1400's knew the world was round. So why were we taught that Chris went to the Queen with a mission to prove the world was round? Aside from the obvious answer that public school are a joke, an 1800's superstar American by the name of Washington Irving made up the Columbus story in his biography of the famous Italian. As silly as that was I totally forgive Irving. Not for writing Sleepy Hollow or Rip Van Winkle, but rather writing about St. Nick flying around in a magical wagon, in-turn laying the foundation for the whole modern Santa Clause story that fed my greedy childhood appetite until the age of 22.

Now Impaler news before I treat you to more trivia that you plan to spout off to that judgmental bartender you are obsessed with.

Despite Impaler being released as a torrent for ya bastard pirates to download, this no budget, experimental documentary continues to surprise me. Snagfilms, the documentary site boasting over 925 films last time I checked and the company (best documentary movie site in the world according to Zeus)  who controls Impaler's online ad revenue exhibition, released the top 10 most watched films for their first year and Impaler is on the list. Can you guess what number we placed in the top ten? 6!

(insert 80's style vocals belting out "SA-A-ATAN" while shooting the world the double "Hook-'em-Horns" hand gesture) After SnagFilms and Hulu made a partnership and Hulu.com chose ten initial documentaries to premiere with Impaler being one of them... Well it now sort of makes sense to me... I digress...

Why look here, they even made a special SnagFilms widget for the top 10.





I am going to borderline brag, but not to impress you, rather to show Matt Resovich how it's done. To my knowledge I'm the only one who worked on two movies in the top ten. Of course Impaler being one, as well as The End of America. I'm the jerk running around with a camera at the beginning of the documentary shooting "Americana" and asking "what do you love about America?" 10,000 times to random strangers. YOU FIND THAT INTERESTING.

This leads me back to Matt Resovich as well as the number 6, but first nourish yourself with my brain porridge.

Brain Porridge MASHUP:

Starting where I left off, Santa Claus, some speculate, will be studied by scholars in 2,000+ years the way we study the Greek and Roman Gods. (I just made that up to transition nicely into...) The Emperor Caligula once decided to go to war with the Roman God of the sea, Mighty Poseidon. He ordered his soldiers to throw their spears... into the water... at random. Maybe Caligula was simply frightened of beards, also known as Pogonophobia. Could that have had something to do with the English Parliament abolishing Christmas in 1647? Santa's beard? The Puritans banned singing Christmas Carols because they felt it took away from the true spirit of Christmas. At least they were not as dunce as Theodor Herzi, a Zionist leader from the 1800's who had the wise idea of converting Jews to Christianity as a way to stop Antisemitism. Also in the 1800's (1849 to be exact) David Atchison became the U.S. President... for just one day... a day he chose to spend sleeping. Speaking of leadership, Albert Einstein was offered the Presidency of Israel but turned it down cold giving the excuse that he really didn't have a head for problems. I wonder if Einstein spoke out in regret while on his deathbed? Too bad we'll never know because when Albert died he spoke his final words in German... to a nurse who didn't understand a lick of German. Well played Albert, well played.

Now, back to Matt Resovich and his "tasteful self promotion" disability. I'll quote this article in the San Diego City Beat ...

"San Diego City Beat

Matt Resovich may be the hardest-​working man in San Diego music, and although you may have never heard of him, you’ve likely heard of the bands he plays with: everyone from The Album Leaf and The Black Heart Procession to newcomers like John Meeks and Little White Teeth. While certainly a proficient multi-​instrumentalist​,​ Resovich plays a really mean violin, which had him running from venue to venue on July 29 to perform with both Leaf and Teeth.

But it was his solo performance at The Casbah on Monday (opening for Black Mamba and Lymbyc Systym) where music fans could truly get an idea of just how rare and special a musician he is. Playing under the name Roll Film—a not-so-subtle nod to his scoring work for films like Impaler—he played a short, mostly instrumental, set that had everyone in the room enthralled (and one guy drunkenly waltzing alone). Using an assortment of pedals, he loops his violin, keyboard and guitar sounds into what can only be described as a one-man Southern psychedelic dirge that would make even the devil cry.

He ended the set with a cover of the Pink Floyd obscurity “Green is the Colour,” his voice taking on a Bill Callahan matter-​of-​factness that made lyrics like “white is the light that shines through the dress that you wore” sound like the soundtrack to a Civil War soldier coming home to make love to his wife. One couldn’t help but think that if Pitchfork or No Depression had been there, they’d be proclaiming him one of most underrated musicians around. Resovich’s music is just that full of light.

—Seth Combs
"

-----------------------------------------

So yeah, it's safe to say "The Resovich" is Major League. He's also a patient guy always ready to dole out a scoop of "Resovich Wisdom" all up in ya grill. Chances are he'll be making a stop in your city soon so be sure to stand outside his hotel room fiddling "The Devil Went Down To Georgia" over and over until he comes out to accept your "fiddle off" challenge. It shouldn't take longer than 30 minutes to get him in a fiddle death match.

Speaking of the number 30, I'm serving 
you a snack sized bowl of brain stew as a teaser for my next blog. What does The Sphinx, New Orleans, the Tonkawa Indians of east Texas, The Tibetan city of Lhasa, and awesome conspiracy theories have in common? - - I gave you a hint already...

Take the hint, duplicate hint, take off the zeros and divide by two and what do we have?

SIX

Impaler = 6th most watched movie on SnagFilms, Number Six from Battlestar Galactica and I are having an imaginary affair....

So it's only fitting that The Black Heart Procession's brand new album, entitled "SIX" is one of the few albums this year that should go down as a personal classic. For me, exploring an album that ends up becoming a personal classic always follows the same pattern. First step is having one song that I play over and over, in this case it was Witching Stone. Eventually another song grows on me (When You Finish Me)and the next thing I know every song on the album makes perfect sense as one unit. I start to understand that I am able to add the all too scarce and precious commodity of a "full length album that is excellent front to back" to the my box of A-Listers. SIX was made with the qualities I love. Rich and subtle complexity impossible to pin down....

So if you can relate to what I am saying I highly recommend shelling out the cost of a drunken Taco Bell meal because it's worth the money and I want them to be able to continue making music.




So you are saying to yourself... "OK, cool beans mighty Overlord Tray, but what about the free booze you mentioned?"....

The Black Heart Procession are about to tour. I'll be at the Austin, TX show on the 23, the Denton, TX show the next day on Oct.24th.... On top of that if my shooting schedule works out like planned I'll be at the shows in Jersey (Oct. 31st), NYC (Nov. 1st), and Boston (Nov. 3rd).... San Francisco on Nov. 15 is a possibility but I'm not 100% sure on that yet.

So here is the deal. If one of those cities is close to you then come out, bring friends, whatever.... find me and say hi to turn on the free booze auto pilot. Only two rules. 1) I pay .. 2) We take a shot of Jagermiester and only Jager..... and that's how I went bankrupt... Damn I love live shows...

5 things before I depart:

1) Congrats to The Album Leaf for winning best Electronic again this year at the San Diego Music Awards.

2) Congrats to Drew Andrews for being twice nominated at the San Diego Music Awards as well.

3) Make sure to check out Matt's profile as well as Black Heart's for good tunes and showtime.

4) I'll be writing another blog in the next 5 days that should be of interest to you... yes I mean you....

5) Finally I might as well address this, if only to slow down the messages. Yes I am currently working on a documentary about Scientology, and yes Project Chanology and Anonymous are important parts of the story in some parts.

6) I'm going to try and respond to each message over the weekend. Sorry I kind of dumped Myspace, but she suckered me back in.

W. Tray White

(If anyone read this whole thing you are insane... the good kind)


 
Christopher Brian Milton-Μολὼν λαβέ!!!
Second Amendment Militiaman

 
Oh Mighty Overlord Tray, your Minions are deeply wizened by your musings and most appreciative of your re-appearance to the masses by way of Myspace. Hail O.L.Tray! Now I must digress back to by hillbilly ways and say we ain't spoke in a coons age! Sounds like you have been puttin in more work than my granny's rockin chair! The free booze thing is right up my alley! Just too bad none of the aforementioned cities are. So ya gotta get your ass over my way sometime so we can get drunker-n-Cooter Brown and I'll even try to choke down some that Jagermeister if you'll help finish a bottle of Jack. I recently lost my unemployment benefits, but a friend is lettin me help out at his liquor store here and there for beer money (which is why I ain't packin my bags and heading towards your free booze offer) so let me shamelessly plug my new voyage into semi-employment:

Visit with the friendliest staff,
and pick up the coldest beer in town
at the best little liquor store in Fort Smith,
The Liquor Store
401 Garrison Avenue
Corner of 4th and Garrison
Fort Smith Arkansas.


By the way I composed the slogan. I been shoppin there for about fourteen years now. Hell the building was built in 1886 and has always been a liquor store, except during prohibition, when it was a "confectionery" shop. So it's kinda perfect seein how I love history and now am a modern day part of a future history that probably won't be remembered.

Anyway my friend I am glad to hear you are still here on earth and haven't been abducted by illegal aliens. I also added you to my at&t A-List calling privilege so maybe sometime we can have a long and pointless discussion about the intricate workings of growing blades of grass. 

Take care muhfuckah!

Yo friend,

Christopher

 
Posted by Christopher Brian Milton-Μολὼν λαβέ!!! on Saturday, October 10, 2009 - 5:30 PM
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