I was just recently put in a very vulnerable place. I was just told to grab a blanket and a Bible. I was then walked into a room that was mostly empty except for some wooden furniture. I was told to spend the night there. As soon as I walked in the room I knew God was there, waiting for me. I had never felt so naked, so scared, so unworthy. My life is not the best example of a holy life, of a life that is filled with obedience, of a life that is pure. How could I be alone in the presence of such Holiness, such pureness, such whiteness. I felt dirty, full of spots, opposite from God. And since then I have understood the Grace of God.

There was nowhere to hide. It was me and God, who knows everything about me. He knows my sins, my thoughts, my plans, and the number of hairs in my head. And when I realized where and with who's presence I was standing, I just got on my knees and asked or forgiveness, for strength, and for mercy. I asked to be cleaned, for like the billionth time, and just rested in that cold and somber room.

To me it seemed like a very unlikely place to find God, but He was there and broke every barrier that caused a lack of communication with Him. My prayer was very similar to Psalms 51, which I ended up reading that night.

Psalms 51:1-17

Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.

Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.

Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.

Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;
you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.

Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.

Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.

O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.

You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.

The last few lines hit the inmost part of my soul. I know I was broken that night, and God did not despise me.

Hebrews 4:14-16

"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

Jesus offers to intercede for us, to talk to God in our favor, because he understands what we went through. He is pleads for mercy to be poured over us. The last sentence of that passage is amazing. I should have not been scared walking into that room because God would have offered me His grace. It was one of my weakest moments ever, and one where I needed him the most, and He poured His grace over me. Confidently come to Him; God will give you grace and forgive you. The worst thing you can do is hide or try to run away. God is waiting for you, maybe not in an empty room, but somewhere where you least expect it. Sooner or later you will have to face him, and you will experience His abounding Grace.