God is good. I was supposed to go on a missions trip to Peru, leading a team of PBA students. I put months of effort and time into this thing, wanting to serve God with everything that I had. I flew to Peru with the team, got to the immigration lines and I wasn't allowed into the country. I'm gonna make the story short 'cause it is unimportant... I ended up back in Colombia trying to figure out paperwork, and finally after not figuring much out to try and get back into Peru, I flew back to Miami. It was a hard time for me, very hard time... the most painful time I've had ever experienced. It was the most lonely time. But it was a time that God used to stretch me and show me more about his character and who he wants me to be, please take the time to read what I wrote below, I wrote this to a friend trying to explain what God had been doing in my life since friday... be blessed.

It's a lot, it's scattered brained, it has a mixture of bible verses (which reading my bible kept me from completely falling apart), Hillsong United lyrics, and random conversations I had with people, and things God would remind me of... let's start with the Bible Verses:

The first book I opened my bible to was James, I know what James is about, but didn't think of it at the moment. The second verse I read hit me right in the face, like a brick going through a window. I then moved to 1 Peter and that was mind-blowing too. It took me almost 2 hours to get through those 2 small books, mostly because God was speaking so much, and because the tears kept making things a little blurry...

James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James 5:13a
Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray.

James 5:17-18
Elijah was a man just like us. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops.

1 Peter 1:6
In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

1 Peter 2:9
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

1 Peter 2:13a (This one is a little ironic, given the visa situation.)
Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every authority instituted among men...

1 Peter 3:17
It is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.

1 Peter 4:12-13
Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.

1 Peter 4:19
So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.

1 Peter5:10-11
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

Powerful, huh? I then moved on to listen to my iPod. I instinctively looked for Hillson United, you know to praise God with songs in the middle of all this mess... here are some phrases that kept me going, that injected faith into everything I did, and that spoke truth and peace into my heart when I most needed it.

"Rid me of myself, I belong to You."

"To Your heart. Lead me to Your heart."

" As I look upon Your face, circumstances fade away. Now your Glory steals my heart, for You are Holy."

" I found the place, caught in open arms. Where love's embrace mends the broken heart. Here I will stay for all my days. Draw me closer."

" I see a near revival, starting as we pray and seek. We're on our knees, we're on our knees."

" Heal my heart and make it clean. Open up my eyes to the things unseen. Show me how to love like You have loved me. Break my heart for what break Yours; everything I have for Your Kingdom's cause, as I walk from earth into eternity."

" It is not too far a cry, too much to try, to help the least of these. Politics cannot decide if we should rise and be Your hands and feet." (Another phrase that was kinda ironic.)

" You're love is all we need."

" Only You can mend the broken heart and cause the blind to see. Erase complete the sinner's past and let the captives free. Only You can take the widow's cry and cause her heart to sing. Be the Father to the fatherless, our Savior and our King."

" In the shadows, my spirit weak, Love poked through the darkness and lifted me. I know, You'll never let me go. In the storm, in the raging sea, Love conquered the fear and delivered me. I know, You'll never let me go."

"And now the weak, say 'I have strength', by the Spirit of Power that raised Christ from the dead. And now the poor stand and confess that 'my portion is Him, and I'm more than blessed'."

Powerful again huh?

I talked to my dad like at 1 in the morning in Colombia, when I finally got a hold of a phone and he said something amazing...

"It was not your time to see the fruit, you just planted the seeds."

You see, God designed it that way. My reward is not being in Peru working hard to see the fruit of all my effort. My reward is... i dunno, and frankly, I don't care. All I know is that I did everything with an attitude to serve God and to honor him, and whatever comes after that is not my call, is His call. I just trust God, that He is in control and planning what is best for me. Paul himself did not see the fruits of his work. He even mentions how people are meant to plant seeds, others to water them, and only God to make that grow. Each one of them has served their purpose.

1 Corinthians 3:6-8
I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor.


INSERT (March 9)
I talked to Neil Best today for a little bit and he shared something amazing with me, sharing God's truth.

He first mentioned how King David always prayed and wanted to built a Temple for the Lord in Jerusalem. David wanted to do this for God, but since David had been a warrior, it wasn't allowed for him to do so. He must have planted that seed in Solomon, his son, because Solomon built a magnificent monument for the Glory of God. David never got to see it.

1 Kings 5:3-5 (Solomon speaking)
"You know that because of the wars waged against my father David from all sides, he could not build a temple for the Name of the LORD his God until the LORD put his enemies under his feet. But now the LORD my God has given me rest on every side, and there is no adversary or disaster. I intend, therefore, to build a temple for the Name of the LORD my God, as the LORD told my father David, when he said, 'Your son whom I will put on the throne in your place will build the temple for my Name.'..."

He then mentioned Moses, he led the people of Israel for 40 years and put up with their crap, only to never set foot on the promised land. Incredible! He prepared this people to that exactly, but he did not taste it.

Deuteronomy 32:52 (God speaking to Moses)
"Therefore, you will see the land only from a distance; you will not enter the land I am giving to the people of Israel."

These great leaders did not see their fruit, but prepared others to harvest it and see it and enjoy it. A great encouragement for my situation.
END INSERT

And finally God reminded me of a passage where Paul talks about trying to go somewhere and preach and God not allowing him to... and even trying to get into another town with a weird middle eastern biblical name, but the Spirit would not let them do that either.

Acts 16:6-7
Paul and his companions traveled throughout the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been kept by the Holy Spirit from preaching the word in the province of Asia. When they came to the border of Mysia, they tried to enter Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to.

Conclusion (cause it's about time and you're probably bored or not even reading this anymore... :-)...):

I don't know how to conclude except that being all alone in a foreign country or flying over one was interesting. Those 24 hrs spent alone have been the best 24 hrs of my Christian walk. My faith was put to the test, and I think I came out alright. Even more than that, God has taught me so much. I've learned to trust in Him. I've learned to turn to Him. To wait patiently in Him. That he grants peace of mind. That he cares about me. That he has to stretch me in order to grow. That I am being made more like Christ. That he loves me with a passion, even though I commit the vilest of sins all the time. Overall, God is good, and I will never cease to give him the glory and the honor.