OK, basically everything is either confusing or it just sucks.  i don't have a clue how i feel nor do i have any idea why i am so anti-relationship at the moment. surely after 6/7 months a relationship would be a good thing. I don't have to be single for ages just cos he is. but then I'm not likely to find someone who is attracted to me. and if someone is attracted to me they're not likely gonna be able to handle who i am. I'm a huge mess. i need a lot of attention but i also need a lot of space. I'm confusing and very dependant. as well as depressed. i cant help it. i am what i am. whether u think that's emo or not i don't really care. I'm just putting it on the table. you wanna label me? go ahead and label me.

At the moment the reason i am OK and i seem happy is due to all the music i have to keep me happy. music is beautiful. without it...I'd break. No one seems to feel the emotion behind music. I feel like few people understand how amazing that is. If I feel really shoddy i just have to put a beautiful song on about how i feel and my spirits lift. and if that doesn't work then there's always  grace kelly - Mika because that song always makes me really hyper for some reason.

My point is. Music is keeping me going. as well as Anna, Nikita and Buckman. aswell as a couple of other people who feel it is up to them to shower me with lovely compliments and turn my cheeks into that strange red glow they do whenever a certain person smiles at me.

lol I'm gonna stop writing now cos i am beginning to sound like a little lovey puppy and I'm not that at all. I'm way better than that CHEESEus!!