well, it's been a while since i've been here.  Thing 2's test was not good.  She still has the urinary reflux.  We are in another holding pattern-wating gfor a year to see how many infections she gets.  This really bothers me!  She had the procedure b/c the doc said she wasn't going to grow out of this and now we're waiting again- I don't get it.  But the alternative is another procedure or surgery.  Lose-lose situation.

Lately things have gotten kinda weird.  I work with several people who seem to think that recent happenings all align with Revelation and that the end of the world(as we know it)is nigh!!  So, this week we packed 72 hour emergency kits.  These are kits that contain enough food to get 1 person through 72 hours in a crisis situation.  They can be put in a back-pack if you have to evacuate, too.  But, all this has made me question lots of things.....

If it is the end, I don't want to be here to use those but if  we are then what have I done wrong and not asked forgiveness for?

Have I raised my kids well enough?  Do they truly believe?  And if not will they be left behind and is it my fault?

Could I refuse to help someone else who wasn't prepared?

Was it a slap in the face of God that I prepared the kits and that I now question the beliefs that I have held for so long?

I'm losing my mind, well what was left of it.....

I always get depressed this time of year- most people don't know why.  Ten years ago, at this time of year, I miscarried.  I guess I should be over it by now but I always start to wonder what it would have been, what it would have acted like and looked like, etc. 

September really has sucked so far!!!!!!!