Written but never performed for the Billy Sunshine Show, KRXA AM 540, Santa Cruz California

KLEINER: Billy, I can finally reveal that I have been using my comedy bits to test the cultural sophistication of your listeners. (REACTION IN STUDIO) I personally never go for cheap laughs (REACTION IN STUDIO), but I've been putting flatulence humor into every sketch, just to see who among your listeners would be offended. So far, no one has even caught the slightest whiff of what I was doing. So I've decided this week to eschew…

BILLY: Gesundheit.

KLEINER: To pass on the flatulence, and boy is that a relief. So, this week instead of my usual comedy bit we can focus on what this show is really all about… You.

BILLY: I'm humbled. (REACTION IN STUDIO)

KLEINER: Billy, you're not one to talk about yourself or boast. (REACTION IN STUDIO) So I asked Mrs. Sunshine to identify what's special about you. After a few weeks of thought she came up with this. You communicate with a spirit guide who can answer any question by making an anagram out of the key word in that question. Who knew?

BILLY: It's true. His name is Raga Man… That's an anagram for the word anagram.

KLEINER: How clever. Let's put Raga Man to the test. Please anagram Osama Bin Laden and tell us what Osama Bin Laden really cares about.

BILLY: Beano and Islam

KLEINER: Beano and Islam? Now Raga Man is making the tasteless fart jokes? Let's try another one. Anagram Barack Obama. What should our listeners know about Barack Obama?

BILLY: No bub(b)a aces his karma.

KLEINER: And no wife of Bubba aces his karma.

BILLY: It's all about Obama.

KLEINER: Anagram Mrs. Sunshine. What is Mrs. Sunshine's proper role in Billy Sunshine's life?

BILLY: Be his silly nun… That explains the celibacy.

KLEINER: Raga Man, anagram President George Bush. What should we do about President George Bush's plan to escalate in Iraq?

BILLY: O, beg Rep. End surge this!

KLEINER: End surge this? That doesn't make any sense Raga Man.

BILLY: Raga Man says the FCC is listening. Find your own anagram for the word "this," then write or call your Rep in the house and your senator.

KLEINER: Raga Man, anagram This Human Heart. Do you have any interest in David Kleiner's latest CD, "This Human Heart"?

BILLY: Ah! Hunt me his art!

KLEINER: You don't have to hunt for it, Raga Man. Anagram Cdbaby.com/davidkleiner. What do you want to tell our listeners about Cdbaby.com/davidkleiner?

BILLY: Go there and buy the CD so he'll stop this stupid running gag.

KLEINER: That's an anagram for cdbaby.com/davidkleiner?

BILLY: No, but it is the end of this sketch. Say goodbye, Kleiner.

KLEINER: Goodbye Kleiner.