I'm in a new place- Fayetteville, NC. Deffinitely a change from home. I guess this is home now. I'm all unpacked and settled in, on the way to getting a job. In the mean time, I am just bored to tears. Mostly it's self-inflicted. I have been feeling a complacency since moving in. I feel lost and quite alone. Being with Sam and Valena just makes it all the worse at times.

Not that I am really alone, but I am lonely. I have been so shut down to feeling anything for anyone else that I think I have forgotten how to not be alone. seeing them together makes me feel how lonely being alone can be. It's easy when there aren't reminders living in the next room over.

I'm starting to miss the feeling of someone's arms around me, someone's lips on mine, hell just the knowledge that someone is thinking about me in a way that's not platonic or purely sexual. I miss love and reciprocation.

I'm okay alone, it's not going to kill me or seriously depress me. But I do miss not being alone all the time.

God I wish I had some wine. I should be drunk, feeling this way.