Clonmel
Smell
"There's a fierce Clonmel off yer one."
Super Fucking Double Bollocks
Being under more stress than that caused by a singular bollocks
"Super fucking double bollocks!"
Feak
The act of sexual intercourse
"I'd feak the box off her"
Yer Ma
Mumsy
I'm unattractive am I? Yeah? Well your ma is a dickhead."
Pikey
A Member of the Travelling Community
"Get a job, ye fuckin' pikey!"
The Lot
Acting the maggot
Behaving in a manner indicative of a lack of seriousness
"Lads, I'll break your faces if ye don't stop acting the cunting maggots you little fuckin' arsehole cunts."
Arse
Ass
"Fuck me lads, my arse is like the back of Batman's car after that Guinness last night."
Arsing around
The act of being lazy
"See that lazy little fuckstick up there? If he doesn't stop arsing around with those fucking slates I'll climb up there and fuck him off the roof myself."
Ass juice
Diarrhoea
"The symptoms? Well my sphincter is twitching like a fucking jumping bean and I've got ass juice running down my leg."
Back doors kicked in
The act of anally raping a man
"The three of 'em came in the showers, officer. All oiled up like. They kicked me fuckin' back doors in."
Bag o' Swhag
Very Good
"That blowjob was a bag o' swhag, love. Now clean the floor there, will ye?"
Baker Street
The only London train station where you can change from the pink line to the brown line
"Last night? Yeah, Aunt Flo was around so I changed at Baker Street."
Ballsch
Rubbish. Crap.
"The internet, eh? Load of focking ballsch."
Banjaxed
A (generally irreversable) state of disrepair
"You can't even drive you contemptible harpy! The fucking car is banjaxed!"
Barse
The part of a man's body between his balls and arse
"She had a face like my dead uncle's barse."
Bet
Alarmingly unattractive (as in 'bet with the ugly stick')
"Bet? Lads, I'm not exaggerating when I say she has a head like a melted wheelie bin. I almost got sick."
Boat
Face (rhyming slang from 'boat race')
"Why? Because you've a boat on you like a fuckin' bag of dead rats."
Body off Baywatch, Face off Crimewatch
A woman with aesthetically pleasing physical proportions and a disproportionately unattractive face.
"That Glenda Gilson has a body off Baywatch, and a fucking face off Crimewatch! The dirty rat bastard bitch."
Bogger
Person from the Countryside
"The thick cunt dragged an acre of shit into the shop with him, that's fucking boggers for you."
Bombay Shitehawk
General colourful insult
"Get up the yard, ya bombay shitehawk!"
Boxed off
Sorted. Arranged satisfactorily.
"After the shit, shave and shower I felt totally boxed off."
Cacks
Underwear
"Oh ballbags. I've just passed a motion into me cacks. Please take me to Dunnes post haste so that I can procure a new pair."
Cla
Brilliant
"Did ye see that film on the telly last night? Twas feckin' cla wa'nt it?"
Clackers
Testicles
"Jesus, love. Call an ambulance for fuck's sake. You're after tearing the clackers off me."
Clatter in the jaw
A punch in the face
"I will give ye a clatter in the jaw and a mug of warm badger milk if ye dont behave, ye dirty cunt"
Clonmel
Smell
"There's a fierce Clonmel off yer one."
Cocknose
An aesthetically deficient individual
"Who? Cocknose over there? He's got a face like a bag of camel's tits. "
Cosbies
Small, sherical fecal matter
"Don't go in there for ten minutes lads. The cosbies were in a car crash"
Crafty Butcher
Homosexual (likes his meat round the back door)
"If the crafty butcher there at the bar looks at me again, I'll spark the daft cunt."
Craic
Mythical (alcohol related) Irish phenomenon. The act of being drunk.
"Oh jaysus, it was gas craic!"
Creamed out of it
The act of being seriously injured, particularly when partaking in a sporting event
"We used to pass the ball out to Stormin' Norman and the poor cunt always got creamed out of it"
Cunt butter
The butter that spurts from a woman's womble (also 'Fanny batter')
"I flicked her bean like Jimi Hendrix played his banjo and the dirty bitch soaked me face in cunt butter."
Cute Hoor
Someone who quietly has one up on everyone
"He's some cute hoor alright, didn't buy a pint all night and went home seein' triple."
Da
Father
"Stop fuckin' with that lightbulb, da."
Delph
Large Teeth
"Some set of delph on her, she could eat an apple through a letterbox"
Dingleberries
Little balls of shite that form on anal hair. (also 'Dangleberries', 'Wilnots')
"Your trunks are leapin' wi' dingleberrys."
Dirtball
Unpleasant character. Scumbag.
"That fella over there in Dr. Quirky's Fun Time Emporium is some fucking dirtball"
Dose
Something which is difficult to endure
"Having my entire family die in the same week was a fucking dose."
Double Bagger
A physically toned woman with disproportionately unattractive facial features (a bag for their head and one for yours, just in case)
"Jesus, you pulled some fucking double bagger last night, she had a face on her that would drive rats from a barn"
Eejit
Someone of reduced intellectual capacity (also 'Gobshite')
"You're an awful fuckin' eeijet da."
Fair Play
Commendable behaviour
"Did you see him box Tubridy's fucking jaw for him? Fair play."
Fanny Fart
Trapped wind released from the vagina. a queef.
"I was about to perform cunnilingus on my wife when the vile harpy left off a rather mistimed fanny fart. Needless to say her giblets remained uneaten."
Fannyballs
A transexual
"That one off Tellybingo is some fuckin' fannyballs."
Feak
The act of sexual intercourse
"I'd feak the box off her"
Feck
Fuck
"Feck"
Fizzy Bumming
Inserting ecstacy tablets into your anus
"Will you sign our petition to stop John Brady fizzy bumming?"
Flaming
Intoxicated
"God, I was flaming last night. I'm sick as a little hospital today."
Flange
Vagina (also 'Minge', 'Gee')
"Oooooh keep goin' Jeremy, that's proper nice. Ye make me flange tingle!"
Flatley, do a
To cut cocaine with other substances
"Jaysus he's done a flatley with this shit, he's fuckin' danced all over it."
Flatten me
Engage me in sexual intercourse
"Sheamus, you little fuck, when you've finished fucking around with the VCR, take me out to the pier and fucking flatten me."
Flute
Penis
"Anyone got the number of an Ambulance lads? She's after nearly pullin' the flute off me."
Fuck Face
A person who behaves in an unfavorable manner
"Get your fucking hand out of my fucking Hula Hoops fuck face."
Fuckhole
The absolute lowest of the low; a total waste (can of course be used in friendly circumstances) <SPAN class=style3>
"Goodnight fuckholes"
Fuck's Sake
Expression of Frustration
"Hold on, love, for fuck's sake. I'm almost at the vinegar strokes."
Fuckwit
Someone who is generally disagreeable
"Jeremy Clarkson is such a fucking pompous, oversized cunt-headed, fucking arsehole cunt fuckwit."
Fun bags
Large breasts
"Jesus, the fun bags on her. She could breastfeed a feckin' creche."
Gaff
Abode
"I'm actually going to knock the cunt's gaff down with a fucking hammer."
Gee
Vagina
"What the fuck are ya looking at? I'll tear the gee off ya if ya don't fuck off"
Geebag
Unpopular female (rhymes with 'teabag')
"...and his mother? Talk about a fucking geebag."
Get yer oats
To engage in sexual intercourse
"For the love of God man, will you fuck off out and get yer oats!?"
Gibblets
Female genitals
"Just pulled a cracker lads, going back home now to ate the gibblets off her."
Gobshite
Exclamation of disapproval at anyone or anything
"Get outta the way you fecking gobshite!!"
Grease flaps
A woman's moist vaginal doors (also 'Beef Curtains')
"Despite my best efforts, her grease flaps kept making my knob hit the sheets."
Growler
A grubby and generally unkempt vaginal area
"I was about to ride the face off her when I saw her big dirty growler and puked me ring."
Gyppo
A dirty itinerent
"Smell of burnt sticks off that thieving gyppo fuck what just stole your dog."
High falutin
Having delusions of grandeur
"Pat Kenny is some high falutin prick, look at the fuckin' hair on him."
Hole
Anus
"That Guinness is after cuttin' the hole off me."
Hoop
Anus
"That curry last night is after nearly blowing the hoop off me"
Horse it in
To be sexually ravaged
"Quit the fancy stuff there, Don Juan and just fuckin' horse it into me!"
How Bad
Good, deadly.
"All these presents are for me? How fucking bad."
Jacks
Toilet
"Jaysus, I just destroyed the jacks. There's porcelain everywhere."
Jap's Eye
Male urethral opening
"Back in '82 he was just a twinkle in his father's Jap's Eye"
Jaysus
An expression of disbelief or despair
"Jaysus! I wouldn't touch her if I had a truck full of mickeys"
Johnny
Male prophylactic
"Shhh, lads - she's gagging for it - does anyone have a johnny?"
Knacker
Member of the travelling community. People who shop in Lifestyle Sports.
"Thieving, thieving fuckin' actual dirtball knackers."
Knobjockey
Homosexual (also 'Arsebandit')
"He didn't get anywhere with her, the fuckin' knobjockey."
Knobrot
A sexually transmitted infection
"Jesus sufferin' fuck, that one the other night has left with me a serious dose of knobrot. Look at the colour of it!"
Knock the hole off
To have intercourse with
"Fuck it, I'll knock the hole off her."
Lad
Penis
"I'm after gluing my lad to my fuckin' leg again ma. Call an ambulance."
Lamp it into to me boss
Make love to me at your next convenience
"Ah jaysus, me pissflaps are burnin' with desire loike, quit pricking around and lamp it into me boss!"
Langer
Male genitals. Colourful insult.
"I moved her knickers to the side last night and now I've only got half of a fucking langer."
Lash
Someone with whom you would like to engage in sexual intercourse
"There's some load of lashes on Grafton Street lads, fuck me."
Loosebit
Female of the species (also 'Bird')
"My knobs going to atrophy and fucking fall off I don't get a loosebit tonight."
Mad ouva
To be out of one's head (Mad out of it)
"Continually inhaling bronson into my nostrils the other night resulted in me being mad ouva."
Minesweeping
The act of purloining peoples drinks at a social gathering (because the commentary goes ''that's mine, that's mine, that's mine'')
"Was caught minesweeping by a rather burly gentleman last night. He boxed me on my fucking nose."
Minge
A lady's part
"I was going down on her, but couldn't get past her minge - 'twas like gettin stuck in a hedge!"
Mingin'
Displeasing to the eye (also 'Manky'). Unclean.. Smelly.
"Mingin'? If I'd a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't let her look over the wall"
Mongo Sap
Someone who doesn't know whether he's comin' or goin after a two day pill fest
"Get out of me ma's knicker drawer ye fuckin' mongo sap!"
Mucksavage
Someone from outside Dublin (also 'Mucker', 'Cluchie', 'Bogwarrior')
"God, the mucksavages on You're a Star. What a fucking national embarassment."
Nah
No
"Nah"
Nappy Arwshe
A filthy big bum
"Jeez, d'ya see the big nappy arwshe on yer one?"
Neddy
a fool
"That fella is a serious neddy, he'd annoy Pat Kenny's hole, the prick."
Not worth a shite
Of no practical value
"Pat Kenny? Sure he's not worth a shite, the fuckin' useless prick."
Nut custard
Semen
"Lord Jesus, the poor girl was covered in nut custard."
On de Ball
Well done
"Is this my cuppa? Nice one, on de ball yung fla."
On thee job
Fucking your wife
"Frankie wasn't sick today, Chip. He was home on thee job."
One
Woman (also 'Wan')
"Jesus, did you see yer one? I'd crawl a million miles across broken glass to kiss the exhaust of the van that took her dirty knickers to the laundry."
Padjo
Tramp or gypsey (also 'Gyppo', 'Knacker' or 'Thieving, thieving fuck')
"You and your fucking stinking family can fuck off away from my roof slates, ya fuckin' Padjo!"
Pego
Gentleman's tadger (also 'John Thomas', 'Flute', 'Langer', 'Bobby Dangler', 'Pork Sword')
"Tell me, young waif, would you be prepared to touch my pego for sixpence?"
Pie Retention
The act of gaining weight
"Water retention is it, love? More like fucking pie retention."
Pikey
A Member of the Travelling Community
"Get a job, ye fuckin' pikey!"
Pipe
Penis
"Yer one's after suckin' the pipe off me in an aisle in fucking Xtravision, the little harpy."
Piss Artist
Alcoholic
"I know he's your da, but he's a useless fuckin' piss artist. Where do you think your communion money went?"
Pissflaps
The outer lips of the vulva or the vagina
"I was ridin' the bird last night and her pissflaps nearly tore the flute off me. It's fucking killing me."
Plastered
Inebriated (also 'Gee-eyed', 'Polluted', 'Rotton', 'Hammered', 'Pissed', 'Shitfaced')
"I was plastered for fuck's sake. I'll buy you a new one."
Plums
Testicles
"May your plums turn square and fester at each corner, ye cunt."
Pony
"Were you in that gaff last night? Twas feckin' pony... "
Poof Juice
Alcoholic beverages consumed by a gentleman that are not Guinness or beer based. (e.g Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff Ice, Budweiser)
"He's really lashing into the poof juice there. What a fucking embarassment."
Pooh Bay, dropping anchor in
To engage in backdoor sexual activity
"I got bored in the pink so I dropped anchor in Pooh Bay."
Ratbark
Fart
"Fuck me lads, I just did a ratbark that would drive a funeral up an alleyway"
Rattle
To have sexual intercourse
"I'd rattle her kidneys with me budgin' if I wasn't so gee-eyed."
Relax The Cacks
Calm down
"Relax the cacks, a bit of Sudocreme and that rash'll clear up in no time."
Ride
To engage in Sexual Intercourse (also 'Shag')
"I suppose a ride's outta the question?"
"Wha' do ya mean 'do I love ya', amen't I riding ya?"
Ring
Anus
"But it's me borthdey, love. Can I not have a go on your ring?"
Ring splitter
Someone who engages in anal sex
"Fifty euros says the fella in the pink hotpants is a ring splitter."
Ringpiece
Anus. the greatest word in the English language.
"She was walking like John Wayne after I lashed the ringpiece off her, the dirty cow."
Ronnie
Thin, wispy moustache cultivated by scumbags
"He was about 6 foot tall, with a ronnie that looked like someone shat on his fucking lip."
Root
The act of particularly jarring doggystyle sex
"Sorry lads, but I'd root the hole off that Carol Vorderman, there I've said it."
Rosspot
Good Looking Young Lady
"That chick is a fuckin' rosspot, I'd knock the arse off her!"
Rusty Trumpet
Licking a gentleman's arsehole while manually stimulating his penis
"Here love, any danger of a rusty trumpet after EastEnders?"
Sally
A young lady of loose moral character (from Mustang Sally, because 'all she wants to do is ride')
"I left that sally from earlier with a face like a painter's radio."
Scaldy
Hot tea or coffee
"Any chance of a cup of scaldy there young lad?"
Scoops
Pints (generally of stout)
"Where's Byrne? It's his twist for the scoops, the tight fecker!"
Screed
A very small amount
"I haven't even got a screed of dope there boss, it's like feckin' hen's teeth these days."
Scundered
Embarrassed (also 'Rednered', 'Scarleh')
"I shit me pants and was scundered for a hundred."
Scunders
Male briefs or boxers
"Fuck me lads, the missus got me these fancy new scunders and they're tearin' the bollix off me."
Scuttle
To have sexual relations with a lady
"Jaysus, I gave yer wan an awful scuttling last night. She's walking like John Wayne."
Shit the Bed
Expression of surprise or disbelief
"Shit the bed, that goddess I brought home last night has been kidnapped and replaced with a fuckin' swamp donkey."
Shite
Shit
"Will you don't be listening to that fella. He's full of shite."
Shite bag
A disagreeable individual
"Ryan Tubridy? The man is a complete shite bag"
Shitehawk
Anyone unpleasant or untrustworthy
"Spar and Centra? Don't trust them shower of robbin' shitehawk bastards."
Shlunk
To leave a social engagement without telling anyone (often due to inebriation)
"He was up at the bar one minute and gone the next. Must have shlunked."
Sickens my Cock
Completely disagreeable
"Waiting for fucking auld ones to count their fucking change in a shop sickens my cock."
Simon's Trousers, pair of
A bulbous posterior. Big nappy arse.
"Jesus that Roisin Ingle one off the Irish Times has an awful pair of Simon's trousers on her."
Skagdick
Masturbating the morning after over a women you saw the night before
"Jesus, did ya see that Glenda Gilson one on the telly last night? I pulled the skagdick off meself."
Skanger
A person whom should not be engaged in conversation. (also 'Knacker', 'Scobie wan', 'Scobe', 'Tinker', 'Scumbag', 'Shambo')
"Jaysus, will ya look at the two skangers on that horse. Fuckin' scumbags."
Skimbock
During intercourse when your foreskin goes too far back
"Did ya get the bock last night? Damn right, skimbock all the way."
Skimming
The act of courting the facially challenged at the end of a drunken night
"Easy with the skimming lads, trolls like those could give you a terrible dose of knob rot."
Skint
Suffering from financial difficulties
"Jesus, I'm skint after those fuckin' hookers last night"
Sky Pilot
General colourful insult.
"On your bike, ya fuckin' sky pilot!"
Slapper
An easy lay
"I'm sorry to tell ya lads, but I've a pair of balls on me like two cunting coconuts. It's slappers all the way tonight."
Smarties
Birth control pills
"Yeah, he's one today. Silly cow wasn't on the Smarties."
Smee
It's me
"Jaysus, smee ya fuckin' steamboat!"
Spare arse
A female of loose moral fibre
"Well holy God, lads. There's spare arse as far as the eye can see."
Spunkskip
A woman of low moral standing
"Jaysus, yer one is a serious fuckin' spunkskip, she'd get up on a low flyin' pigeon."
Stall the Ball
Wait a Moment (see also 'Hold on, for fuck's sake.')
"Stall the ball lads. It looks like yer one's gonna box herself off with that hurley."
Steamboats
Seriously Enibriated
"Look at yer man. He's fuckin steamboats!"
Streak Of Piss
A tall, skinny person
"That Ryan Tubridy is some big eared personality vacuum of an interrupting streak of piss."
Super Fucking Double Bollocks
Being under more stress than that caused by a singular bollocks
"Super fucking double bollocks!"
Swiss, the
Hole (from 'Swiss Roll')
"The place was a pain in the swiss. It was noisier than a skeleton wanking on a tin roof."
Thicko
Someone who is both intellectually challenged and lazy
"He thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician. The fuckin' thicko."
Throw it in
To have sexual intercourse
"She's missing an eye? Fuck it, bring her over and I'll throw it into her"
Tobler
Being by oneself (from Toblerone)
"When Neil Armstrong stepped onto the moon he finally felt as if he was completely on his tobler, then Buzz Aldrin hopped out and fucking wrecked the buzz."
Townie
A person from the city
"That stupid townie couldn't herd a pig into shite."
Tramp
Promiscuous young lady (also 'Trollop', 'Floozie', 'Goer', 'Slapper')
"That Jodie Marsh is some tramp, if you kicked her in the hole a bucket of mickeys would fall out of her fanny."
Up the Rasher
Vaginal pentration
"I gave it to her up the rasher last night lads, balls an' all."
Vinegar Strokes
The last few thrusts before a man ejaculates
"What'd ya mention Roisin Ingle for, love? I was just at the fuckin' vinegar strokes"
Wagon
A disagreeable member of the fairer sex (e.g. Roisin Ingle from the Irish Times)
"Leave 'em on ya fuckin' wagon!"
Willy Wonka
A condition resulting from overuse of one's penis
"I appear to have a rather serious case of Willy Wonka after that one last night"
Windy
Weak looking and possibly gay
"Shut up, ye windy fuck."
Wizard's Sleeve
A well used vagina (also 'Clown's Pocket')
"She's a fanny on her like a wizard's sleeve"
Wopper
Of excellent quality
"She'd a mush like a jockey's bollocks, but she'd a wopper box on her"
Wreck
Person of reduced aesthetic appearance
"She's a wreck alright. Got a face on her like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle"
Wrote off
Very drunk indeed
"I'm so getting wrote off the map tonight lads, it's not even funny."
Yer Ma
Mumsy
"I'm unattractive am I? Yeah? Well your ma is a dickhead."
Young wan
A young lady (generally used in a pejorative sense)
"Jaysus, that young wan has an arse like two ferrets fighting in a bag."