I just wanted to take a second to thank everyone who has ever supported my comedy in any way. Just anyone who has ever laughed at me. I am very fortunate to be able to entertain people for a living. There is no greater feeling that I experience than hearing a room full of people roar in laughter at something I said. I love bringing that kind of joy to people.

I take it back, there are two other feelings that good. Being lost in total fun and laughter and conversation with those closest to me, friends and family. Laughing feels so joyous. Whether I’m creating it or laughing at something myself. And the other amazing feeling is being in love. Just getting lost with someone that means the world to you. Getting lost while not going anywhere. And not wanting to come back. It’s a feeling you don’t want to ever stop.

Okay, also sexual experiences are pretty awesome too. That sheer raw in the moment joy is pretty hard to beat. (Or if you’re alone, pretty easy;) But a hookup, especially when it’s new, has this crazy, incredible, kinetic energy that feels fantastic. Which, paradoxically, you can’t have when you are in love. (Or, thankfully, when you are hanging with your family and friends.)

But those are the best feelings there are for me in life.

Wait also food is pretty great. A great meal? Holy moly, it can be heaven. (I assume. Haven’t been there.)

I don’t want to leave out just lying there. Just lying there feels pretty wonderful too. Especially if it’s in bed when you don’t have to get up. Or when it’s in hot sand.

I shouldn’t leave out sleep. Sleep is the best. Well, technically I’ve never been awake to experience it, but I assume it’s great, because I want to do it so much.

Oh and achievements! They are so fulfilling they make you feel like you’re wasting your life when you’re sleeping or just lying there. (Luckily those two still win out about 80 percent of the time.)

Helping somebody out is a wonderful feeling too. It just feels so right, and rewarding, and important. And it makes you feel like it’s all worth it. Kind of like eating, sleeping, just lying there, hookin’ up, achieving things, feeling in love, chillin’ with friends and family, and laughing does. Only less directly. Which makes you feel worthwhile. If something does not directly benefit you, somehow it feels more important. Which is ironic when you consider that we are us. It is also in the grand scheme however probably not true. The reason we put so much spoken value on it is because it’s so not in our nature to do it. Pleasing ourselves feels so right, deriving that pleasure through helping someone else just seems more noble. But really it’s the same. It’s just nice because someone else gets to benefit too.

Making people laugh I consider to be something that helps other people. Which brings me back to why I started writing this. To thank people for laughing at me. Because it makes me feel so good to make so many people feel so good. But less directly than just doing it for myself. Interestingly, making people laugh can often lead to making friends, making your family proud, great hotel rooms to sleep in, free delicious meals, girls to hook up with, and a sense of achievement that serves as a perfect justification to just lay there for a bunch of hours.) So it’s no better than anything you’re doing. It’s just the path I choose to take.

I guess my point is it’s all choices. Everything we do is the result of some kind of choice we made. And it’s all equal. It’s all the same. However you derive your happiness is exactly as good as a different choice would have been. Because everything is everything. It’s all just different means to the same end. Feeling great. Enjoying Life. Being happy.

Whenever someone says to me "Man, you’re living the dream. I wish I could do what you do." I often tell them that it’s hard work. That it’s not all as magical and fancy as it seems. That there are big tradeoffs. I don’t say this to get them to feel sorry for me. That would be gross and completely stupid, because I do love my life. I say it to make them appreciate their lives more. Because it is all the same. If people stopped having regular jobs, there’d be no one to come to my comedy shows, no one for me to joke with in the front row, and more so, no one to make this world all it is, that we all get to enjoy.

We are all living the dream.

I’m just grateful that I get to pursue my happiness in one of any number of ways. A way I chose. A way I enjoy. And a way that also brings happiness to others. Because I owe people a lot. Without people, I got nothing.

Tonight I got to headline the Irvine Improv to a sold out crowd of 300 people. I’ve been playing Improvs for years, and headlining comedy clubs for a couple, but I’d never headlined an Improv, and it was a big deal to me. And it was so much fun. And I think people had a good time and I know they laughed a lot. And it made me happy.

Now I’m going to go to bed, lay there for a while, sleep, then wake up and have a delicious meal. Because those things make me happy too.

Actually, not yet. I almost forgot, it’s 3:05AM, and I first have to prepare for three auditions I have tomorrow. So I probably won’t get much sleep at all.

I could complain about it, but it’s all choices.