1. What is your name?
L.J. What's yours?

2. Okay, who was the last person who high-fived you?
Maybe Ash.

3. Have you ever kissed someone with braces?
God no. Can you imagine the ulcers?

4. Who is the fourth received call on your call log?
A number I don't recognise

5. If you could change your eye color what would it be?
Black

6. What is the wallpaper on your phone?
Michael and Lisa Marie. A-shaggin'.

7. How many pillows on your bed?
Four. I have an extraordinarily large head.

8. Who was the last text message you sent to?
My sister

9. Is there someone you can't stop thinking about?
Isn't there always? 24 years and counting...

10. What was the best thing that happened to you this year?
I booked my travelling trip for next year.

11. Do any of your friends annoy you?
All of them. The fuckers.

12. Who/What is the fourth person on your contact list?
Blowhole Home

13. When was the last time you cried?
A few days ago. I appear to cry like a bitch at pretty much everything these days.

14. What school did you attend in elementary?
Holy Family. Oh God, the shame.

15. Do you have a crush on somebody?
Other than the obvious? No. I bloody wish I did though - I miss crushes. Shame Glaswegians are all so ugly.

16. Who was the last person that made you laugh?
J

18. Who do you make fun of the most?
All my friends, my family... several of my co-workers... oh, and I called my optician a cunt the other day.

19. What's the longest you've ever talked on the phone?
I can't remember how long but it was something like 13 hours to Miriam. Frigging Norway. You can't even imagine the bill.

20. How many 20 dollar bills do you have on you right now?
This is Britain.

21. Have you seen your best friend cry?
I've seen several of them cry, yeah.

22. Where did you last go out to eat?
I don't go out to eat.

23. Do you dance in the car?
Always. I think it's all the vibration.

24. What do you think of hunting and fishing?
Cock.

26. What is one thing that you cannot stand?
I hate limitations. Can't I have... 28? Damn. Well in that case I'd say people who only like to talk about themselves pretty much make me wish for death.

27. Does your mom vacuum early in the morning, when you're sleeping?
Yeah. Bitch.

28. Are your parents in love?
I doubt it.

30. Where did you get your last bruise?
I fell into a filing cabinet at work and smashed my hip. Then when I doubled over laughing, all the files fell on top of my head. That was about two weeks ago. Still lingering.

31. Would you rather sleep at a friend's or have them over?
Sleep at a friend's.

32. Who is in your house right now?
Ma, pa, bro.

33. Have you ever thought you were gonna die?
Yep.

34. How do you like your steak?
Noteably absent.

35. What do you smell like right now?
My dog. It's an alluring scent.

36. Do you have a hard time admitting you're wrong?
I don't know. I've never tried.

37. Who was the last person you held hands with?
Hmmmm. I honestly have no idea. How pathetic.

38. What shoes did you wear today?
My ill fitting but pretty work shoes.

39. What makes you lose your appetite?
Someone watching me.

40. What color is your laundry basket?
Um. It's like... wicker. Wicker colour.

41. Does your mom make you wear a winter coat?
I'm 24.

42. Does it contain fur?
Oh fuck off.

43. Do you own any Hollister shirts?
Eh?

45. Where do you shop the most for clothes?
I wish SO MUCH I could say Monsoon.

46. Ever shop at a thrift store?
A what? Is that the American word for porn?

47. What's your favorite piece of clothing?
Anything that hides my cloven hoof. Failing that, a little black dress.

48. Can you go on MySpace from school or work?
No. Wankers.

50. Have your parents seen your MySpace page?
Christ no.  

51. Whats your favorite season?
Winter

52. Whats your favorite number?
7. Snarf.

53. Do you get along with your parents?
My mum... most of the time.

54. What are you listening to?
Jacques Brel - Dulcinea

55. What are your favorite colors?
Purple, black

56. Have you ever been in love?
I'd like to think so.

58. Have you ever thought that your life was so bad you just wanted to give up?
This very year

59. Do you have any tattoos?
Four. Got the fourth three days ago! It stings, I don't mind telling you.

60. How many piercings do you have?
Um. 11. Christ on a bike, that's a lot. I can't have odd numbers. I can't STAND odd numbers! Dammit, I better get something else pierced.

61.Who means the most to you?
Michael bloody Jackson.