With it being summer and all and me finally working a 9 - 5 (well more like 9 to 8) after 9 years of entrepreneurship, this rant is pretty timely. So with no further ado (or much ado about nothing) here's another entry from Ghostwriter 19, who I hear is speculating coming out of hiding and putting his identity out there for all to hate!
Words by Ghostwriter 19
If you know me, you know I am not fashion forward nor do I have a good sense of fashion. In all honesty, I barely know what is in fashion; HOWEVER, I do know what's NOT fashion! I am specifically speaking to the mistakes made on casual Friday. Unlike Keenan who usually hates on the women exclusively I am going to mainly focus on men.
First thing's first, no linen! No linen suites, no linen sets, no linen ties, and no crushed linen (WTF is crushed linen? Nikka fashion! That's what it is! White people don't wear no crushed linen!). No animals on your feet except for cows. No gators, crocs, or ostriches. You are going to work, not the Annual Pimp of the Year Awards Ceremony.
So this rant was inspired by my two friends that will remain nameless (unless they pop lip and have to get put on blast lol). One friend recently had on a polo shirt he must have had ever since college (He is now in his 30's). The shirt was so old it had the fuzz on it. Then he compounded that UGLY Shirt DAY Winner with cargo pants. Cargo pants to your office job? Are you NYPD? Did you just get back from serving in Iraq? Come on?!?!
I know we are all tempted, specifically those of us with a browner complexion, to show our sense of style, but just stop it, please, you are at work. Being the "cool black guy" is all good until you wear the rayon shirt. Furthermore, wearing that outfit you wore on south beach won't get you a raise next quarter.
My second friend that inspired this rant even more is doing well for himself. He has a nice job, big home, etc. but he pops his collar like Kanye on Fridays. Then because the people at work made him think he is that "cool black guy" he thinks he can rock that same shit out on the weekends. NO YOU CAN'T. No one cares that you shop at Brook Brothers or Thomas Pink. It is 90 degrees and you are in the hot sun drinking coronas not martinis. You are sweating so much from your brow that you have diluted your cup of beer. Negro put your collar down and wear a t-shirt. Wait a second (Did you actually sit home and apply iron and starch to your collar? NIKKA YOU ARE GAY! And you look tight.)
Women, you work so hard Monday through Thursday to break that glass ceiling and then on Fridays you give it all back. First things first no denim. No jean skirts, No jean dresses. No jean jackets. Not even jeans on that day the firm says it ok. (that is for white people). They don't want to see your sevens or your apple bottoms Everyone isn't nice to you on Friday because it's Friday, it's because you are inappropriately dressed. No patterns on your dresses, no head wraps, no spaghetti straps, and no designs or multi colors on your toes from the Chinese lady. And finally, my biggest pet peeve! There needs to be a little slack in your pants. No one, ok i'm lying, strike that, everyone wants to see every dimple in your ass (IF YOU HAVE A PHATTY) but you are at work. Come on. No I lied my biggest pet peeve is Capri pants in general, but for the purposes of this rant stop wearing them at work. They are just lazy. Are you wearing pants or shorts? Anything you can wear on the beach shouldn't be worn at work.
These rules apply for everyone regardless of whether you are in the payroll department, a secretary in the back office, front office, or even if you are the HNIC. You don't get a pass on payday, your birthday, or the firm party. Why do you think they put the security guards in those plain uniforms? Cause normally they're Black and we don't know how to act.
This message is fully supported by Keenan "Keeper of the Rants & Raves" Davis! I would like to add that you let it be that if your tattoos are going to show, than that is the determining factor on if you can wear that outfit or not. If tattoo = yes, then halter top and koolats = no! And for the record, those shouldn't be worn anyway ladies!
We got a full plate going on! If you haven't been to Level V as yet, then you're in the minority! It was insane last week, drinking, dancing, dialecting (sorry that was the only "d" word I could think of to describe talking lol) and you were still home by 11 / 11:30! Full Dinner Menu, Drink Specials till 8! It's a great look. No one does afterwork parties like MIH! Please believe. Tonight - Level V - 14th and Hudson in the Meatpacking District! Be there or be square!
On Saturday, you gotta come out to a new spot that I'm sure you haven't been to as MIH will be in the house helping to celebrate the born day of 3Kings founding member Brent "Smax" Boyce. I'm talking DJ Snatch1 and DJ Velocity! I'm talking one hour open bar for everyone! I'm talking bottle specials! And not that any help will be needed but, to ensure the ladies are in the building, I'm talking ladies free till 11. Don't even mention me at the door, just say you're there for big Smax birthday and you'll be good money! This Sat, Cathedral NYC: 504 W. 41st, we call this party Milestone V.
And do remember, the best bbq you've ever been to, goes down Sunday July 13th! I'm not even gonna hype it. It's the annual MIH BBQ! It's Heatwave 8.0! If you don't go, just ask your friends about it on Monday cuz I'm sure they'll be there. 800 people last year, people 800!!!
Keenan "I Wear A Button-Up On Casual Fridays" Davis