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Current mood:  enthralled Category: Romance and Relationships
As I sit back and think about what I could say in this little charade, I am for some odd reason reminded of the first line in the Sith code: Peace is a lie; there is only passion. In other words, emotion is what gives you power; the lack of such will only make you weak, as we have seen in one particular example. Since She knows who she is, and she is most likely reading this right now, (because for some reason it would seem she has nothing better to do than spy on my myspace, which I thought was creepy even when we were dating) there's no use hiding it.
So mein herr, it would seem that we have reached an impass. No, no, impass is the wrong word, and so is stalemate, because there's no competition. Accord? No... Agreement? Not in the slightest. Seems the only word I can use to describe this would be the opposite of the last word. Interesting
Either way, we have gotten to a part of our lives where we no longer need each other. At least, I no longer need you. I havent for a while, but now that I know you were an untrustworthy skank from the beginning, somehow the knowledge that you lied to my face makes me feel a whole lot better. I'm not even joking. I wasnt anywhere near as upset as I thought I would be when Sonja told me. I was suprised, of course, because you even lied about lying to me. And I knew you were lying, but i had no way to prove it, so I let it drop.
None of my business? I think not. If you do not recall, we were "Seeing each other" around the time you suddenly decided to stop talking to me for weeks and go on your little sex romp. I believe that qualifies it as my business. And besides, you should know that anything in this particular group of friends doesnt stay secret for long, not something this scandalous. I would have said you did a good job hiding it, but the only reason Sonja didnt know earlier is because I felt sorry for your punk ass. I STILL have the draft. I never deleted it, in case I needed it. Bad idea on my part, I shouldnt have been so nice. But eh, as you always say, karma's a bitch, and you WILL get yours.
The sad part is I'm sure you didnt say that. I'm sure you got that from one of your friends; the same place you get all of your ideas and mannerisms. Your laugh? A whole lot like Luis'. Your chuckle? Natalia's. Some of your sayings belong to those two as well. It's understandable to develop some of the habits of the people you hang around most often, but ALL of the habits? Why do you think, when we lived in the apartment, I would always call you Luis or Natalia? Thats exactly why. Become your OWN person. Develop your OWN ideas and thoughts. I guarantee not only will life be better for you, you may actually become more useful to society than a Radioshack manager. I mean, I have to admit I was the same way. When I was younger. I did what my brothers did, said what my brothers said, because I could, and I had nothing else to go off of. Then I developed my own thoughts and ideas, and now I'm enriching the world (or at least the high desert for now) with my musical talent.
I kept telling you to do something for yourself. Now however, I think I'm just going to encourage you to sit on your ass and do nothing. I looks like you've gained about 10 pounds anyway, from the roundness of your face and the way your clothes werent fitting very well, so I assume you've already got a head start. So keep doing nothing with your life. By the time I'm rich and famous doing what I love to do, you may have just figured out what you LIKE doing, other than fantacizing about having relations with fictional characters. (I'm weird, I know, but seriously?)
I'm not gonna be mean anymore. I'm more than over you, now that I had to obtain the closure you were too much of a chickenshit to give me and end it passively. I can move on, and not feel bad about leaving you in the dust cloud I create on the way. I'd say date someone else, but seeing as how you pick dudes who are married I'd hold off on that. For now, you need to fix you. A lot. Tear down the walls and rebuild. You've got a lt of work on yourself to do before you're ready to face the world. I'd wish you luck, but I'd rather see you fail. I'd say take care of yourself, but if you got shot I'd hope it was fatal. I dont hate you, but I AM disgusted by you. And now that this whole thing is over, I dont need you anymore.
5:06 PM
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