I just wanted to say a few things 'cause I've been rather irritated since Sunday.  My boyfriend's ex told him he could see his kids and take them fishing.  She failed to follow through with that commitment and then asked him (after hours of not responding to his calls or messages) if his Father's Day was as good as her current boyfriend's.  Now, I don't generally get involved in things of that nature but that was such a less than human thing to do that it's been bothering me.  Since I've been wanting to vent on that, I decided to take it a little further and get a few other things off my chest.  I'm sure most of my friends are familiar w/ my rant style so I'll stick to the usual.

First off: I'd like to point out that I'm Native American.  Now when I say native, I don't mean that my great uncle's cousin had a nephew that married an Indian, I mean I'm a mother fuckin Indian.  Lenne Lenape and w/ more blood than most 'natives'.  I surely don't have as much as some (like my mom) but I definitely have more than most.  My great grandmother was born on a reservation and from what she says, my grandmother would have been but they were out of town.  I've seen the tribal list of birth places, spoken the language, transcribed it, and used to be somewhat fluent.  I'd like to challenge any one that claims to be native to prove they have more blood than 6.25%.  Now, I'm a quarter so w/ 6.25 you'd still have less than my kids but at least that would verify a little.  I'd also like to know, Ms. Native, if you have an Indian name.. That you didn't just make up. My tribe has the first written history and theory of creation out of all US tribes.  Take that Chief Joseph!  I don't go around touting my blood heritage 'cause that's juvenile.  It just irritates the hell out of me when some people give themselves the title of native because they have dark skin.  Hello!! You're native alright.. To fuckin Mexico. 

Next up: When someone claims they are a sexy bitch, they're really only getting half of it right and it's not the half you'd wanna brag about.  Don't get me wrong, I'm all for a positive self image and that all people are beautiful but when you start posting shit saying how sexy you are and the bumper sticker that says, "I'm the one your boyfriend thinks about when he's fucking you", I just have to ask-- Have you looked in the mirror lately or did they all break the last time you walked by?  And, if our collective boyfriends were thinking of you during sex, that would only explain any time that they couldn't get it up or had to rush to the bathroom to vomit.. Much to the amazement of some females, it was commonly thought to be the result of heavy drinking.. Who knew, eh?

A side note: If you can't spell: don't type.. just read a fuckin book; like the dictionary.  Don't subject the rest of the world to your horribly worded, incorrect, and misspelt statements.  Example: You're a fucking idiot.  Not your, not youre.  You are= you're.  Understand now, kimosabe?  And I'm not raggin on my friends here.  I know that some are lacking in the English department but if you're going to use the language to insult someone or incite something, at least use it right.  How any person could think a misspelt sentence would, nay, could turn someone on is completely beyond me.  On top of that, if you're (<--see how that works?) already looking like shamu after a spray on tan, why are you even trying?

One last thing: Any person that fits the profile herein described is a pointless waste of space and I hope that they don't die from an awful cancer or disease but that they spend just as many minutes in agonizing torture as they've put all of the rest of us through in the duration of their pathetic, wasteful existence..  Maybe even bring back the ol' draw and quarter but w/ tourniquets so they can live.  And employ maggots and leaches.. But I digress.  My point is, certain people really piss me off.  It's pretty hard to get me very angry so I'm not there yet.  Just want to vent.  I just want to talk to my friends collectively w/o having to make them all dinner and be the center of attention.  Let them know that there are such beasts out there and that they should be on the lookout.  When the zombie apocolypse comes to pass, this person will be the first person I shoot... In the leg.  Not because they're likely to be a zombie but because I'm going to use their body parts as bait.