You stated you feel the words are begging to address issues larger and more global. Are you planning on writing about specific issues or mainly the emotional aspects of them only? I can tell you of several experiences throughout my life, where the weight of troubles were unbearable, feeling I could never get out and that things would never improve - feeling very alone. I'll try to touch on some in a private message, when I find time. But, I ask my question, because sometimes I think lyrics with less emphasis on specifics, relying mostly on emotional expression leaves the song open to interpretation, yet listeners can still profoundly relate. Does that make sense? Wondering what type of issues you might have in mind too! I know you asked a lot of questions above, so I shouldn't be asking... but, maybe if you could share a few more examples, it may help :)

 

As of right now I'm the first to comment. Bonus.. Anyways. I'll go ahead and answer both the questions.

Question 1: I'd have to say the biggest issue I'm having right now in my life is with a guy. I've been going back and forth with him for a little over a year. I hate that people usually get the wrong idea when I talk about him so it's not something any one knows about. But I love him. More than I could put into words. He says he needs to make changes in his life so he can be the man he wants to be for me. I realize most people would say he's just making excues blahblahblah. I'm not an idiot though. I have a strong radar for something who is bullshiting me. Anyways, I find it challenging because sometimes I get so frustrated with him and I forget that I should understand his needs too. There are some days I want to just throw in the towel and say that I'm finished, then I think back to all the great times we've had together and I carry on. When I hear about people pulling through bad situations and things turning around for them, it gives me strength to carry on.


Question 2: I wouldn't say that I need help now, but I have been through enough that I got the help I needed. I spent a few years in therepy with a woman I will never forget and I surrounded myself with amazing people. I have defenitly gone through that phase in life when I am so depressed that I just want to fall asleep and I pray to God that he takes me before the next day. I've shut out everyone before and kept up the appreance that I am okay inside and out. When more times than I can count, inside I was screaming that someone would see past my smile and simply ask "what's really bugging you?". I still find myself putting up walls these days because I don't want others to see that sometimes I fall apart completly. I want everyone to believe that I have everything together in my life and nothing is out of place. People have burned me alot after I made the decsion to open up to them, so eventually I decided that keeping it inside was better than letting it out. Though there are some people I can open up to and I thank God for them everyday. It's very hard these days to find friends that truely care about you. Anything that upsets me, angers me, or just bothers me they usually know the right thing to say. If not, they are at least someone who will listen to me whine about my life.



This was waaay long.. Haha.
 

P.S. Putting up walls and secrecy is often due to shame, embarrassment and hiding weaknesses... fear of rejection or hurting others too... forcing isolation, when you already feel isolated. (Not sure why I added this, lol.)

 

You might be partially right on this- but that is not always the case. I speak for my self when I say that when I keep everything in, it is because I don’t see the need to let my problems fall on someone who I know cannot help me, who cannot do anything to make my situation better- so why bother them with my problems when they might already have problems of their own. Sometimes I know it helps to just let it out, and I know that at least knowing you have someone there for support is very helpful as well, but once that person is no longer there you are back to square one. Pretending that you are happy does not always mean you are hiding or are ashamed, rather it is to not ruin someone else’s day. Personally, I focus on being strong- someone has to be the rope to hold on to. But my motivation is looking into the Brightside of things--- why should I drown in my sorrow, torture myself. Just don’t give up and keep thinking positive- it’s the only way to move forward.

 

You're right about my being only partially right. That's why I said it's "often" due to, not "always" due to - the elements and dynamics of the harder issues I listed :)

One thing I'd like to point out about the word "shame" - Oftentimes, especially with the issues I listed, shame is something we feel when there is no reason to feel shame; yet, it's unshakable. I also used shame as an umbrella-type of word. There are, of course, other difficult feelings that go hand in hand.

About walls, many put up walls for other reasons too... one of them being, as you say, you prefer to keep your problems to yourself, to not burden others, especially when you feel they can be of no help to you - and you believe in staying strong and positive - to look at the bright side of things. That latter part is especially awesome. It's a coping mechanism, amongst many other types of coping mechanisms. We all cope in different ways; some learned ways, some instinctual ways, and sometimes we fail to cope - and that's when, more than anytime, some type of connection is vital - an important time to break the chains that bind us, to let down our walls (which are also for self-preservation; protection for ourselves and sometimes others involved). At this vital time (for others) sometimes sharing your burdens may actually be the release another person needs for dealing with their own problems; an opening to share, a catalyst for a possible emotional realization (emotional realization is much different from logical realization) that they are not the only one dealing with similar issues or feelings, so they can possibly see other ways to deal and cope to help themselves or others. (I'm rushed at work, so I feel I'm not articulating this clearly, but hopefully I made some sense.)







 

 

One more thing... Would you be willing to share some of the lyrics you already have for this song?

 

To add some ideas, hoping it may help others to open up, I feel these are a few of the most isolating issues, other than the mentioned depression and suicidal thoughts: SEXUAL ABUSE - be it incest (by any family member), abuse by a teacher or family friend; DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (amongst parents, parental abuse, abuse from a GF/BF or spouse); DATE RAPE (or just rape, but often with date rape it seems there is more shame and a stronger tendency to hide it - not always); and SEXUAL IDENTITY issues - being attracted to the same sex or beyond. NO ONE IS ALONE IN ANY OF THESE. As hard as it is, put shame, and your fear of rejection, aside, to tell your story, to connect and not feel so all alone.

 

im myself am going through a lot . I recently went through a breakup . its been 5 months but i stil care a lot about him and i miss him so much . Were friends still but he'll never see me that way . And theres another guy trying to talk to me , he really cares about me but i am in love with my ex and i dont knw wat to do .Other than that i am stuck liveing with a family that i dont get along with , i try but they dont like my way of life . Truthfully i suppose my life is on the wrong path right now , i do a lot of things i shouldnt. I havent been able to find work in 6 months , and most of my friends turned on me . So lately i feel alone and very confuesed on how to get m y life straight . Im unhappy with the way my life is going and i have no clue how to turn things around

 

Hey Brian, my name's Abner. I met you outside of the El Rey Theatre on Wilshire Blvd. I find the truth in your words really amazing. You have a point, most of us believe we are alone in the world when in reality, we share the same feelings. I too went through a point in my life where I felt that I was all on my own. And in this day and age, who hasn't? In my situation, I let people's opinions of me get down into my core. I was easily manipulated by others. Fortunately enough, I am no longer that person. But I did feel that others had the right perception of who I am. As a result, I became depressed. I was shallow and was desperate for everyone's approval. so when I wasn't getting that approval, I lost all hope. But I found my true friends while I was in those dark times. You should really try to include redemption into it. Include how people are capable of saving themselves.Hope this story helps you write your song. :)
 

Hey Brian. It sucks when you meet someone so similar to you but so different at the same time. Funnily enough that's exactly what happened to me with one of my best friends. When I met her I honestly couldn't believe how much the same we were. Our interests, our morals, , our backgrounds... even our family's background. Because of this, I felt so enthused and excited for my life and what would become as our friendship grew. Needless to say I ended up falling for her. But that's a completely different story. Nothing serious ever happened.
 

In addition to this, I do however strongly believe that any boy loves girl/girl breaks boys heart song you have done (coward) or will do in the future, isnt and will most definitely not be one of those typical whingy teenage angst songs. You have a knack for turning things on their head and putting a kick ass perspective on it. Everytime I listen to your music, I feel like I come out on top every time. 
 

i wanted to say that your music touches me in many ways and i love your art. your songs helped me cope with related occasions in my life. i recently had a hard depressiing time in my life and i thank you for your art, your music. so inspiring. my life is slowly but surely turning and i am actually happy for the first time in my life. i dont have any ideas for any songs but i am deeply in love with a man whom is now my fiance and i think of him as my angel as i had problems with past boyfriends. if like to see a song to go out to him to thank him for saving me and loving me no matter what. anyhow, thank you!!! :) keep it up!
 

You all are so courageous and giving... you don't know how much I appreciate every single one of your words and stories. You all make me feel so blessed and closer to the world. I'm very much starting to see the direction this song will be taking... again I thank you for this light and inspiration.

I usually don't share lyrics before they're are finished and written... but this song is becoming communal so here is what the chorus is looking like... it may not end up this way in the final product, but we shall see.
 

Simple but powerful, and meaningful. I can't wait to hear/see the final product.
 

the song looks like it's gonna be kick ass!!!! XD

 

Thank you for sharing part of the lyrics. I think they're beautiful.

 

Do not feel bad about long blogs we don't mind really. I will answer you're questions for you soon. And, tell you're friend everything will be okay, we always need hope.
 

There is a lot more I'd like to say, but way too much to cover in comments. I was going to keep this in a private message (which I haven't gotten around to writing yet) but, most of the harder issues I listed I've personally been through and know of many others who have, as well. The dynamics that each entails would take too long to go into. How I pushed past each issue... different ways for each. But, I can say the common denominator, at each breaking point, was to reach out and open up - no matter what the cost - to share with people what I was dealing with, which led to ways out of situations I saw no end to. Timing may be important, though. I'm not saying to rush into anything that may cause serious consequences... hard to explain what I mean here. There are a lot of layers to many situations. But to become free from emotional prisons, to be able to shed our skin to become a new person (no matter how many times, again and again), we must find positive outlets, and more times than not, the human connection is the purest mean of emotional salvation.






 

Hey Brian, long time no see. [huge hugz]

Wow...[pondering deeply]

Let me count the times....[difficult without actually bringing up names...] 23 people I've dealt with in a similar manner, can't be reached no mater what I try. Turned inward on themselves swallowing themselves in a self inflicted identity of grief and self incrimination, becoming their very own prison keepers, often seeing only death, cutting, drugs or other continued self debasement as the way to escape. Often times going from something that was not their fault [early child abuse most times]
to self punishment by repeating the damage because its the worst thing they possibly know on earth.

I'll have to ponder this a while to see if something really comes through deep and poignant. I'm sure its in there, just have to re-live the memories and feelings of helplessness while being so close to somebody who is so far from everybody.

This should help me do dome real internal exploration.

[more huge hugz and all my prayers]
Delicious Vodka DeBlair

 

I have nothing more to say
 

Care for a look deep inside the trivial problems of an almost-17-year-old?
There aren't many things I could possibly write here that would give you epic songwriting epiphanies, but God, does it feel good to have an excuse to vent.
In my life there is one major road block right now, and that is independence.
For the first time in my life I am being forced to think seriously about what the hell I'm going to do with it. The world seems so harsh....it makes it seem like any effort I put in would only be in vain. Now as a senior in high school it's coming down to "you need to know what your whole life plan will be by June or you'll die on the streets". Never before have I been afraid of living what I assumed to be my dreams. What if everything falls through, Brian? Then what? Minium wage and TV dinners??
It's an conspiracy, I swear. Everyone is only out to scare us, not prepare us for the real world. They expect us to pick a career and make the most of our lives but then tell us that most of us won't. Teachers, councilors, even my own parents have told me that "I can't be a musician....I can't be  a stylist.....I can't be a photographer, or a designer or anything else I've ever wanted for my life. I don't have the grades....I don't have the image....I'm setting my goals to unrealistically....why don't I think about applying for a job where my mom works and living at home for a couple more years?" I'm starting to wonder if they're right.
And yes. It does make me feel alone. You know, it's the whole, small fish in a big pond mentality. Nobody out in real life gives a damn about whether I as an individual lives or dies. Nobody would know.
Sometimes nothing other than the fact that  "I have to" can get me up in the morning.
It's a heart breaking reality check, that my whole life I have assumed myself to be independent, never realizing all along how coddled and secured my life has been the entire time. I've never had to think about rent, or where a meal would come from.  When I look up I see a roof over my head, and that's how I expected it to always be. But now everyone is telling me that I won't make it...that none of us will. Whether it be because of the economy, or my lack of ambition, or even just because I don't look the part.
Most of the time I know that nobody wants to hear this. This is trivial compared to the problems of most, but I'm just so scared........it's probably the most raw, unaltered emotion I've ever had. the fear that i might not make it on my own is crippling, but I know I can't let it stop me from pressing forward anyway.

oh well.....I know it doesn't matter much, and it probably wont help you at all....but thank you for letting me dump all my thoughts and whatnot  in one general direction.....makes me feel slightly useful when i complain........

Good luck with the song anyway! I can't wait to hear it!



 

I have wrote some really messed up blogs about my life, loves, a few funny jokes...  I'm willing to put it all out there to be read! Remember before you read don't judge me..  I was a very happy person but got lost! I you to laugh and giggle all the time but I have not laughed in a long time!
My life turned to the point that it is beyond, know if it worth even being here anymore and if you ask have I thought about killing myself. Yes I have!. I wake to an empty house, in two weeks I lost 10 lbs.. i don't eat now. My kids get up they live to go with there Dad. We may be divorced but I never dis him. But yet I'm everything in the book and my kids hear it and believe it. All the men I have dated who are my age, pretty much prefer younger women, so they cheated on me. So yes I put up walls.  guess when my last friend died I seriouly felt alone.... So I'm left wondering if I have any friends left in this world. Guys find out that I have seizures and run the other way. Taken by Protective services more than 17 times when I was a kid, my dad beat me, would take me drop me off just any where, I have every scar he has given me... My life growing up was really messed up.  What can I say, there you go.. just a wee of why I'm me.       :(

 

again. you all are so courageous. still working on this song actually. just started working on it again today.  it's morphing here and there. hope i can get it done and recorded before the year is done and share it with you all.  headed back into the studio in a few weeks to record three more new songs. two song you all have yet to hear are being mixed in colorado as we speak... they're pretty cool if I do say so myself.  my producer just texted me today in regards to those two songs stating "I think I forgot how dope these tunes are". haha!  we recorded them over a month ago.
 

yay! cant wait to hear the final product!!!