03/10/08......'MR ALBARN':The documentary about the chinese opera 'Journey To The West' was wonderful.
Damon Albarn is such a workaholic. Such an inspiration! During his pop days he was overwhelmingly innovative. Now he always endeavours to reinvent. Always strives to break boundaries with his versatility. A true artist. Sadly there are not many around today. 'Monkey', the accompanying album release of the opera, is sublime and captivating. Although not as breathtaking
as Albarn's 'The Good The Bad And The Queen' debut, (arguably album of the decade so far) 'Monkey', written in mandarin, intertwines chinese classical music with modern electronica to dizzying heights. 'The Dragon King', 'Omi To Fu', Confessions Of A Pig', I Love Buddha' and 'Monkey Bee' are the highlights for me. The songs are so multi-layered and full of texture. The atmospherics are so evocative and varied. All i need now is £70 to attend the opera in all it's splendour at the o2 arena in December. Unfortunately i am a street urchin.
01/10/08......'THE POLISH BED':I have a Swedish-Croat friend called Pamela Madita. I guess we fell out a while ago because I gave her a gigantic bag of my dirty laundry to wash. I don't own a washing machine you see and she kindly offered to do it for me. However, after she had washed my clothes she placed them back into the bag and threw it into my concrete garden. Obviously, being from Finsbury Park and all, the bag got stolen. I guess I should have expected it from a girl who changes her job and house every three weeks. She is very clever but very unreliable. She's a full time nanny who hates spoilt middle-class kids and a part-time journalist for a German magazine I cannot remember the name of. I have been going commando a lot recently because I have no pants. I was most disillusioned about losing my Arsenal top though. Anyhow I don't hold grudges with people who say sorry and she did. She then told me about her friend Jade. Jade makes me want to vomit. She is the kind of girl I would enjoy murdering, chopping into little pieces, burying her in finsbury park at 4am, then outwitting the police after. At least she has no blanket anymore.
29/08/08......'THE OCEAN IS COLOUR BLIND':She is clinical with her passion because she is detached from anything that isn't fact or comprehensible to the human mind. But this illuminates her stubborn dolly face and high cheek bones even more! I hope she will not harm herself with those drugs. I don't like them anymore. Snorting is hardly attractive either.
But snorkeling is. When you find a fish as unique and colourful as her.
02/08/08......'CAESAR':Caesar is a crazy eccentric who lives in Hampstead Heath. I first met Caesar on the heath when it was thundering. She asked me if i could paint. I said: "Yes, badly."
She said: "Good, i'm putting on a bad painting exhibition." I thought this was quite a witty and manipulative reply. It made me contribute a painting.
Caesar is a tennis fanatic. She has been playing everyday since she was 20. Yesterday we played together for an hour. I won 5-4. I'm nothing special. Caesar was far superior technically. She had me running around the court like a lunatic on speed.
But she is 70 years old! My young legs enabled me to return all her shots until she got exhausted. Caesar told me, 'I started playing tennis because all the men I dated wanted to fuck all day and i needed to find a way to tire them out.' It is obvious that Caesar was a real femme fatale in her day. She has such mystery and character in her face. A nutty english upper-class bird. Apparently she smokes "pot" and throws great tea parties on wednesdays too if you are interested nan?
After the game i took my brother for drinks and a meal. It was pay day you see. He could have had anything he liked on the menu. He chose burger, chips and ketchup.
17/07/08......'SPANIEL SPOKE':She insinuated i was as naive as a dog because i trust people.
Dogs are not naive. They are a man's best friend. And that's because they are loyal.
Although they are dumb and smell a bit. So yes. I am a dog.
But not one of those chav ones with muscles.
09/07/08......'SUPERSTITION':A black crow flew over my head and dropped a shit on me today. Where i'm from that's good luck!
21/04/08......'OFFICE WORKERS':I was recently working in an office in Holborn. Luckily i got away with wearing jeans. I thought I would hate it but it shattered a lot of ignorant stereotypes i held about office workers. I met some great people. There was also a free espresso, tea, vegetable soup and fizzy orange machine. Everyone in the office looked very bemused by all the empty plastic cups spread across my desk. What was really odd though was how the male office workers took private wees in the cubicles rather than stand next to you at the urinal. Are office worker's willies different? What are they hiding under their suits? Maybe they are just shy. My responsibility in the office was to contact examiners to mark GCSE and A Level papers. I managed to find out the name of the examiner who downgraded my English A Level paper from an A grade to a B grade. I removed Mr Simmons from the computer database so he won't be marking any papers this year. I am back working on my beloved Hampstead Heath now, singing with the birds.
07/04/08......'DOMINIK WOJCIK':Life is meaningless without tea. My friend Dominik came from France to visit me at the weekend. I made him a cup of coffee. He sipped it and then tipped it down the sink. He apologised in case this offended me but i thought it was a really stylish thing to do.
22/03/08......'DRESSING GOWNS':My friend Gypsy questioned my fondness of dressing gowns recently. I told him that not many things surpass the comfort of a dressing gown when you exit the bathtub! I told him he should like them because they are androgynous items. Gypsy's old band were called 'Querelle' you see. He took the name from the androgynous Fassbinder film adaption of Jean Genet's book. Dressing gowns make one feel warm and delicate like an angel falling from the sky, but they also make one feel brutal like an invincible boxer!
I jab like Rocky Balboa when I have my dressing gown on.
18/03/08......'TO BE CHAV OR NOT TO BE':I was invited to a warehouse party on saturday but it was more like a gallery. This rude pretentious wally was walking around all night asking everyone to be careful of the tacky t.shirts on display. Still it was free cocktails. As i was leaving i purposely spilt some of my white russian on one of the sacred t.shirts.
On the way home this girl ran onto the bus screaming for help as two chavs were beating her boyfriend up for no reason. It was horrible. No one got off the bus so i did. I have not had a fight for ages but i knocked one of them out. The other chav threw his bottle of beer at me but it missed and he ran off. Everyone on the bus cheered at me when i got back on. I felt proud...like when i was 8 years old and came 7th in the intermediate disco dancing competition at the Fir Tree in Wellingborough. Wish I still had the black sequin outfit I wore. I'm a softie really. I love being tucked into bed.
I accidentally nicked a cadbury's creme egg before the ruck happened. Maybe i will be on crime watch this week.
08/03/08......'MOONS':My phone rang at 10am this morning. Way too early considering it was a heavy Friday night at the Griffin. I only answered out of curiosity. A lively animated voice said: "Nath, it's Steven Gillson, fancy a fry up on me?" Steven is an old school friend of mine who i have not seen for many years. He obtained my number through a mutual friend on facebook. Once upon a time when i was a child i phoned Steven up and said: "Steve, Shed Seven are playing in London tonight do you fancy driving me and the boys down?" Shed Seven were Steven's favourite band and he was the only one of my friend's who could drive. It was a selfish thing to do though as Shed Seven weren't playing at all. It was two of my favourite bands at the time who were performing, Sebadoh and Stereolab, and i couldn't risk missing them for anything! Still, we laughed about it over our fry up with extra eggs and hash browns in the Archway cafe. Steven was the only boy in our year at school who could dunk a basketball. It was fascinating to watch! He told me he had been travelling through Asia for the last year. One day he went scuba diving in Thailand and his contact lense slipped behind his left eyeball and infected his eye. A week later in hospital the doctor told him: "Mr Gillson, this is gonna hurt really bad!" The doctor then proceeded to insert a needle the length of a finger into the corner of Steven's eye socket. When Steven screamed in agony the two nurses present said: "Mr Gillson you are such a cry baby, cry baby, cry baby!". I laughed out loud when Steven told me this as i thought he was joking. However, he said the nurses practically sang the words "cry baby" to him. He said he was a victim of torture. He called the British Embassy to get him out of there quick which they did. He had to leave Thailand soon after this as he slept with the daughter of a psycho kick boxer. I'm glad he did though as it was great to see him today. Steven is a salesman now. He drove me home in his Mondeo company car. When i stepped out of the car and said good bye Steven said: "When i look up at the moon now with my left eye i see twelve of them!"
04/03/08......'A MASTER CLASS IN PASSING':Arsenal 2 - AC Milan 0. Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not only are we the first English team in history to win at the San Sero but we won with such style and finesse that Barcelona will now realise Arsenal are the most beautiful and flamboyant passing side in the world - let alone Europe!
08/01/08......'GRAZALEMA':My friend Nick Hinde and i went to Southern Spain for a few days. We visited a secret village called Grazalema in Andalucia. Grazalema's quaint little streets and cobbled floors were stunning and authentic. Nick promised blazing sunshine and hikes through mountains, valleys, rivers, springs, pools, waterfalls and the sound of rushing water in the mountain torrents, otters, golden eagles and other exotic wildlife. All we got was torrential rain. We had to sit in the local bar all day drinking San Miguel and playing chess. The locals looked at us very strangely. In retrospect i guess it was stupid of me to only take a single pair of bright green skinny jeans and Nick looked just like Napolean in his military black shoulder padded jacket complete with golden buttons and braces. Still the landlord liked us. On the third day in he even started sliding our pints along the bar counter fully expecting us to catch them at the other end. It was like being in a spaghetti western film whilst the grandeur of mountains outside loomed over us.
17/12/07......'TAKE CARE':The hilariously witty Tommy Grin called me a shit head tonight. She said i promised weeks ago that i would write a passage on my all time favourite song for her. Here it is Tommy. A serious response for a serious request:
Big Star - 'Take Care'
I'm not a huge fan of Big Star but their experimental 'Third Album/Sister Lovers' has stunning moments. For me the most exquisite song on the album is 'Take Care'. I must have played it 10 times in a row when i was introduced to it. It is the only song that has made me cry. Luckily this happened when my girlfriend at the time was in the bath: boys don't cry. Maybe it is a song about a relationship break up, but it strikes me more as a farewell song; reminiscent of a suicide note.
In Britain "take care" is something everyone casually says to one another as they are parting company. It's like a cliche that holds no weight or sincerity. Yet in this song it is said with such honesty, meaning and intimacy. So much so that you feel someone close to you is whispering it in your ear.
"Take care not to hurt yourself
Beware of the need for help
You might need too much
And people are such...."
"Take care, please take care"
Chilton does not explain what people are in the song but this speaks volumes. He chooses to say nothing because people who let you down when you are vulnerable and in need of help are precisely that...nothing. The gentle disgust in his tonal inflections reinforce this idea aswell.
The final verse is more bare and exposed.
"This sounds a bit like goodbye
In a way it is i guess
As i'm near your side
I'm taking the air"
The words "In a way it is i guess" are delivered very gradually and with such conviction. This adds to the poignancy of the song and the accompanying cello and backing vocals during this part are perfectly considered and well placed. The song has an overwhelming feeling of loneliness and solitude about it. The atmospheric guitars enhance this by being so distant, whilst the strings, woodwinds and haunting vocal melodies lend the song an enchanting other worldliness. 'Take Care' is quite simply an untouchable melancholic masterpiece.
11/12/07......HARLEQUIN:My friend Cherry Kowalski popped round to my bedsit in Finsbury Park today for a cup of tea. Cherry brought two presents with her not including the pair of jeans she kindly altered for me. One was a special cherry red waiter's friend to help me open my wine with a bit more suave and the other was a harlequin brooch. Cherry says i remind her of a harlequin. Maybe she is being sarcastic because i talk a load of rubbish and she would prefer me to remain mute. But i love my harlequin brooch. I love the way the harlequin is playing a little accordian. It has an authentic 70's look about it. I am going to pin it to my coat. Cherry is a good egg. I even got a peck on the lips when she left. I'm a lucky boy!
10/12/07......MY NEW FRIEND:John and Dominic i have a confession to make. Maybe i am a phoney too! I have just made a friend over the internet. Her name is Anna. She gives herself the ironic surname Karina. I told her: "Maybe i have some issues that could be resolved on the Jeremy Kyle show but his condescending nature tends to work best on council estate single-mothers who are victims of domestic violence: aswell as their incestuous alcoholic gambling fathers, anti-depressant acne ridden socially inept gothic sisters and cross eyed boy-racer glue sniffing brothers!"
To which Anna replied..."Never have I read something which seems to have listed everything which is wrong with society barre Cliff Richard. But that is another problem within itself. I think Jeremy Kyle is a guilty pleasure, like girls aloud singles........
Anyway, my friend and I were going to be audience members who would heckle everytime anyone clapped when Jeremy spoke of his junkie brother or make one of them generic speeches about how every father would travel across the sahara desert with one leg and a "best of 80s" mix tape just to see his children for 0.5 seconds."
Max, we just need you to join the club now!
08/12/07......JAMES HAIR:I am going to see my old pal James Hair soon. He has the strongest handshake in the land. I heard through the grapevine that James has got himself a pet rabbit and has painted some flames and a skull and cross bone on its cage. My mate Gavin reckons this makes him a star! I agree.
01/12/07......PHONEY PEOPLE:Dominic has been buying the latest Hollywood flicks from the refugees on Holloway road.
John has been running on a treadmill at the gym wearing a new green vest; whilst listening to Queens Of The Stone Age.
30/11/07......STARDUST MEMORIES:Dark memories are strangely optimistic.
You grow from them.
You look upon them knowingly.
They give your face dignity.
28/11/07......FRED CHICHIN:A very sad day. We lost an important musician. Our thoughts are with Fred's family, friends, Catherine and
Les Rita Mitsouko.
20/11/07......SPECIAL BOY:Today is Gabriel Doom's birthday. I bought him an old fashioned and attractive looking fairground Duck Shoot. He may not win a teddy for shooting the ducks, but at least he gets to act like a boy and blast them away with his magnum like a miniature Dirty Harry.
13/10/07......FAREWELL FROM LUKE:I regret to inform you that three months ago, i decided to leave Twisted Charm, due to various reasons from which i will spare you the boredom. Sadly, my last gig with Twisted Charm will take place at the Scala in Kings Cross, London, this Monday the 15th of October, where we will be supporting the great Les Rita Mitsouko. If anyone fancies coming to watch me and my saxophone in action for the last time performing the songs of Twisted Charm, then don't hesitate in asking for guestlist, because apparantly we have a lot. So, in closing, i'd like to thank all you Twisted Charm fans for being so great over the years, and i hope you all continue to enjoy such good music in the years to come from the band. Keep it real,Luke.x
03/10/07......ENGLISHMEN IN PARIS:It's about time i wrote something about our trip to Paris nearly two weeks ago since we had so much fun there. When we arrived at the airport there was a taxi waiting for us. To our astonishment though this was our own personal taxi for 24 hours with our own personal chauffeur! Wow! The last time i had one of these was when i was 15 and i called Roger (my dad) to come and pick us up from Somerset or somewhere at 4am. My friends and i had got on the wrong train after watching the Male Nurse play a Guided Missile night upstairs at the Garage in London. That night changed my life though. It was when i realised i wanted to be a musician more than a footballer. It changed my dad's life aswell. He hasn't drove me anywhere since. Anyway...Paris! Being spoilt normally leaves a bad taste in my mouth but i was lapping this 24 hour taxi up like a dog. It meant i could get drunk tonight without fear of getting mugged walking home or having yet another mobile phone stolen; unless the chauffeur took a dislike to me of course.
Before that though Dominic and i had a busy schedule of interviews ahead of us. Still, the flowing black coffee and wine even made these fun aswell. We decided not to let John and Luke do interviews as they sometimes make involuntary noises. Plus Dominic and i, being brothers, are more comfortable doing interviews when we are alone. Some were filmed for television so we might stick them up on myspace if we are given them. Later on we played two semi-acoustic radio shows for Oui Fm and Le Mouv. One was live but it went well thankfully. I never get nervous performing but i literally felt sick before this. Probably because we have never stripped down our sound before and i've never been sure of my voice. After this we did an interview on another radio station called Radio Nova with Melanie Bauer. Quite often i find interviews are very counter-productive. But Melanie's unique and probing questions prompted a really serious and honest response from us. We were told she was a man eater the next day (no woman could eat dominic and i) but i just found her to be a personable, confident hippy-type chick with a genuine passion and talent for what she does. She even chose to play our least commercial songs (Television Nation, Layabout and Jealousy) on national radio which definitely gets our thumbs up. Plus they are our favourites from our album too.
Afterwards Sophie (our press girl who looks after us as well as our own mothers do) took us to a restaurant. John had couscous with perrier as he is going through a gay phase but the rest of us had fillet steak au poivre with red wine. Delicious! Then we went to a fantastically intimate rockabilly pub with authentic 50's decor. We drank gin and smiled lots. The kind owner even gave us all a free shot of this potent vanilla liqueur, probably because he clocked that john was half rockabilly and needed fully converting.
One of Sophie's friends was djing at this swanky club in central Paris so we left the pub to jump into our taxi. Our chauffeur apologised to dominic and i because we caught him with his eyes closed. This made our hearts turn. I looked him in the eye and told him he was the best chauffuer in the world and that he could shut his eyes whenever he pleased. When we arrived at the club there was a queue of people shamelessly begging the doorman to let them in but i don't think their hats and shoes were expensive enough. Elitist shit like this immediately puts me off places but Sophie's friend was djing so we went in. You should have seen the look on these two guy's faces in there Dior suits when the doorman allowed us scruffy gits in instead of them. Priceless! If only they knew how we'd prefer to be back at the cosy rockabilly shack...a place they would never dream of setting foot in.
Inside it was like a scene from the party in Woody Allen's Annie Hall. An eye-opening experience of ice sculptures, wealth and arrogance. We were looked upon as inferior but this actually made us feel superior and gave us an internal arrogance that was probably stronger than anyone elses in the room. We hung out at the dj booth of course and Sophie's friend played some of the best french and german electro these ears have ever heard. Still we were too good to dance with the champagne supanovas so we headed off and were in bed before 3am.
The next day John bought a black rockabilly shirt for our album launch at Le Klub later that night. If you get it in your country Tracks Television filmed the show and an interview of us. They got some footage of us outside on the street too. There was one very funny bit where this intoxicated sweet old french lady came and had a natter with us, then kissed us goodbye.
Inside Le Klub before the show there were technical problems with the monitors. This delayed our stagetime and we have played better, but the audience were absolutely electric! I lost count of how many times the microphone smacked me in the mouth but it was enjoyable pain. Thanks so much guys we love you very much! I looked for Miss Claudy in the crowd like a headless chicken but i couldn't see her! Sorry. Sorry for the birthday shouts that i forgot to do aswell.
The night ended with us dancing and falling over lots. I think we abused the vodka provided to us by the generous Born Bad Club. We got back to our hotel at 8am and caught our train home at 9am. Well we don't get out much in London! I miss France already. I want to live there one day. Maybe even cycle around with Jarvis. Au revoir! x
02/10/07......ELECT MY ARSE:Well i wasn't grinning earlier. I was stood in a music shop for three hours trying to purchase a yamaha synth on tick and pay next year. But of course i couldn't because i'm not on the electoral register and they have no legitimate record of where i have been living the past three years. Actually i'm not sure either but i have a legitimate bank card so you'd think that would be enough. Life can be so insipid and tedious sometimes. The lovely man in the shop was very helpful though. He was as bemused as me when he patiently questioned these government gits over the phone. Still i will take this opportunity to introduce a new twister to the band. He is a cool cat called Max Bailey and he will be our live synth player. I just need to teach him the songs now. How does one do this without a synth?
29/09/07......FERNE COTTON I SALUT THEE (BY JOHN GARLEY):So there I was, lying in bed on a Saturday morning, half dreaming about how shit the club was that we played at the previous night, when I received a text from my cousin saying "what the fuck? Ferne Cotton's just been going on about you lot on radio 1!!". My eyes still full of sleepy dust, and a mouth tasting like a soil vent pipe, I placed my phone back under the pillow (just to the left of my revolver) and carried on re-living last night. Five minutes later I received a call from Gary Green, or "Snake" as he was affectionately known back in our hometown. A guy I hadn't spoken to in about 7 years. He's a carpenter and was working on site listening to the radio whilst rebating a sheet of 12mm plywood, when his ears were pricked by the illustrious Ferne's mouth uttering our name. Not once, but twice. Apparently this fine woman and popular tv / radio personality is a fan.
Could this be?? That whilst playing the toilet circuit up and down the uk we are simultaneously being ushered into the mainstream public consciousness by some higher power? Has someone, or some "thing" finally had enough of us under-achieving in a shite musical climate of intolerably crap libertines-lite scarf bands and about to thrust us into the media spotlight to be the saviours of rock'n'roll??
Probably not. But, alas, a romantic thought none the less.
And then I arose from my pit to prepare a wholesome meal of beans sur le toast before visiting my good friend Vahid at the launderette.
26/09/07......BRINDEZINGUE:We'll drink till we burst, talk till our tongues tie up and dance till our feet drop off! x
20/09/07......POP LIFE:It's 4am. I'm enjoying a cup of tea and a double decker chocolate bar (my current favourite.) My band and i are catching the eurostar to Paris in a couple of hours to do promo, some radio shows and an album launch gig at "Le Klub". Normally we have to find our own way to the tunnel on sweaty bendy buses with our guitars and our trolleys (i swear we are the only band geeky enough to have trolleys) but due to the insane hour a taxi has been booked to pick us up from the four corners of London. Glad we're not paying for it! I'm suprised i haven't received John's usual dad-like phonecall to remind me to bring my passport. He never forgets to buy de-icer for his citreon though. Au revoir!
11/09/07......PRIMITIVE:
Last night we filmed a short video on Hampstead Heath. At one point we were sitting on a tree 5 metres above the ground. Dominic turned white. Even the lowest heights give him vertigo. John was in his element though. He crawled up the trunk on all fours and said...
" i am a puma! " John loves nature programmes on telly. John rarely enters his kitchen at home and has never washed a dish before. You could call him an animalistic type of man!
08/09/07......UNORTHODOX DEMURE:
Her text said: "I look like a mad woman. I'm sitting in bed naked, drinking wine, covered in bruises." She looks good in blue though, has a funny accent and the worst stereo i have ever heard. She is also the only female i have met who has her own identity. It's refreshing and unique. Sadly most girls are moulded by their current or past boyfriends. They like the same music, books, films, art, social past-times and dress and behave in a way their boyfriends approve. But then they are girls and she is a woman!
06/09/07......IN THE MEANTIME:
I saw Mike Leigh on the 29 bus. After building up the courage i told him that "Meantime" was his best film but "Naked" was his best script and contained his best lead character. He didn't say anything but his smile beamed like a light-house. I hope he understood.
05/09/07......DANCE:
Gabriel Doom likes chocolate, chips and German electro! After a combination of all three he bounces up and down on my bed like a hyperactive cave-boy. We dance with serious faces because no one can see us.
03/09/07......MISS GIBLIN:
I have been meeting some unusually odd and posh characters recently. One of these being the wonderfully named Miss Giblin! She has to give her folks some credit for that despite them telling her she was "a nasty piece of work" when she was 11. Miss Giblin has big breasts, a big heart, big hair and an even bigger voice! (sorry i cannot make your birthday this friday Miss Giblin i will buy you a white russian next time i see you.) Marcus Farnsworth is one of her best friends. He is a conductor at the Queen's Guard's Chapel where she sings. Miss Giblin's ex-fiancee is called Tom Venner (whose father is the bishop of Canterbury). Tom was a chartered surveyor and he never use to allow Miss Giblin to wear her cat-like make up as it was too flamboyant! Tom dressed her in suits when she was 16 and convinced her she was 25. No one was allowed to know her real age so she pretended to be numerous characters at the cocktail parties he took her too including a vet by day escort by night fantasy...to amuse herself and upset others i guess. Tom lives in Paris now. He is a nob! I met him at a Daft Punk after party recently and he was boasting about how he heightened Miss Giblin's feminist outlook on life. He was so absorbed in himself but at least it gave me the chance to pinch his bottle of champagne and sneak off and dance to Mr.Oizo's "Transexual". I bet Judith Butler wouldn't have found Tom's speech excitable.
01/09/07......INDEPENDENCE:
Independence is indispensable. When you lose it you lose everything. You feel lower than a tramp because many tramps smile more than people who think they have everything: a tramp's dependence on faceless faces actually makes them independent. But if you lose your independence and then regain it you feel like an emperor sitting upon a golden throne...hey i brought the gin and film over last week Gloria it's your turn this week. Don't say i never help you out.
29/08/07......MISS ROSE:
Miss.Rose isn't vain right! She is just vulnerable. She also likes the tackiest programme on tv....Hollyoaks! She says she can relate to it: anorexics, closet gays, stalkers, murders, miscarriages, fights, deaths, underage sex with teachers. She is also a smart girl so is obviously taking the piss out of herself or me or both. She is also the new face of NIKE! So look out for Miss.Rose's afro on a billboard in a town near you!
27/08/07......HAMPSTEAD HEATH:
I've recently been working as a park ranger on Hampstead Heath because i've been skint! Whilst mowing the grass one sunny afternoon something occured to me. Why do straight boys play frisbee together?
25/08/07......OPERA SINGERS:
An opera singer said i could really sing the other day. I was really chuffed because i have always doubted my voice. I bet opera singers make great lovers! It was a £10 bet.
24/08/07......LCD SOUNDSYSTEM WON'T PLAY IN MY HOUSE:
We had a support slot with LCD Soundsystem granted to us by a promoter called 'Fred' at Times Square, Newcastle. From Finsbury Park in London it's a seven hour drive to Newcastle - so we all booked two days off work because John couldn't drive all the way back on the same night aswell. He's not capable of driving for fourteen hours or putting up with our continual whinging for tea stops, then wee stops. Three and a half hours into the journey Fred calls to say, ''LCD don't want to have two extra amps on the stage as they don't think it is big enough so you cannot play.'' We only brought our amps in the first place because LCD wouldn't share theirs and it would have only taken one minute to remove our amps from the stage after we played. Plus I've seen De la Soul play at Times Square before and they fitted on the stage ok and they are Big Muthas! So thanks guys! We were looking forward to playing with you and hearing your new material. The day I tediously prevent a band from opening up for us will be the day I stop playing music. Still the journey home was jovial enough, at least until **** got caught stealing a carrot cake in a service station...