So, after the last few weeks of my life, having saved a life from a car wreck and then almost had mine taken in a similar scenario, things are brewing in my head. After fighting to help people get jobs who would rather screw themselves than hang with me, I'm doing some thinking. After washing more kinds of blood (fake and real) out of my clothes over the last few weeks and feeling the exact same apathetic-ness about both scenarios, things are coming to mind...

The world sure is a fucked up place.

I... love... my friends. I do. It's a privilege and a disadvantage, a fault and a quality of mine to be very unconditional and sometimes TOO forgiving to some of the people in my life. However, there are times (as stated in my previous blog/bitching) that I just give up now and again. Shit happens, guaranteed, but recently, a friend of mine declined going with me to do something so he could (and I quote) "get caught up on House". The TV show.

When shit like that happens, it really makes me re-think my relationship with certain people. When a friend of mine is out of house and home due to circumstances beyond his mental control but is trying to find something for me for my birthday despite not having the cash to LIVE OFF OF, that's a fucking friend. However, when someone doesn't want to simply go out and enjoy each other's company due to the fact that getting up off their lazy ass is a chore in its own, then that's when I draw the line.

As far as life and death go, well, I've always laughed at both. Nice guys finish last, and assholes finish first. Depending on who you ask, I'm either of those. I guess that's why the occasional defeat is garnered by at least 20 consecutive victories. There's been times in my life where I thought shit was horrible, but looking back, hell, I got over them all. Keeping that in mind, I remember to press on because hell, what CAN'T I get over?

2 weeks ago, I pulled a guy from a flaming car. 1 week ago, I saw him playing with his granddaughter at his house when he invited me over to thank me. And yesterday, I almost got hit by a truck. Granted, it was my own dumbass fault, but I made sure Kris was okay, drove off, and proceeded to laugh hysterically for a minute or so. I've, like I said, reached a point to where I don't care. I've done it all, everything I've wanted to do, and can honestly say that if I die at any point in time, I wouldn't be bitter about it.

However, that brings me back to the original subject, in that some people won't put fourth the effort to accomplish.. well, anything! People would rather play a video game than go out with friends, and that's just pathetic. I don't understand people and their stupid priorities, and how everybody has lost their ability to communicate with others. Last Summer, I remember sitting at a table with a few friends and being the only one not texting, and trying to get everyone's attention, but failing. That, my friends, is pathetic. Hence why I hate texting, and hence why said people are never invited when I go out and do stuff.

But would it matter? Most of the people I know aren't willing to try new things unless everyone and their fucking grandmothers are telling them how great it is, then they tell me about it and I say "Well fuckass, I told you 2 years ago it was awesome." I can think of at least 10 instances that's happened in, and it bugs me! Why are people so fucking droned and glued to their electronics and boring-ass lives?

In the past month, I've done a lot of shit. I've been to concerts, parties, movies, dinners, hung out with friends, saved lives, been to weddings, comic readings, meet-and-greets with best-selling artists, and worked my ass off as a "higher-up" at a billion dollar corporation. In all of these things, I've invited people to all of them and at each one of them, people have declined only to sit at home. Hell, half the people I know haven't gotten out and done any of those things in the last YEAR, let alone the last month!

I guess it just confuses me. Then again, I think I might be a little fucked up anyway, so what does it matter? Maybe I'm the one who just "lives too much". Hell, I'd rather be doing that then sitting around like the living dead doing jack shit with my time. At least I'm living while I'm alive.

- JFS