"HOLY FLAMING ROOFTOPS BATMAN!" by SIMON BECK
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I just got back from a fabulous concert and interview with singer/songwriter James Blunt at Toronto's Much More Music headquarters! After being amazed by the emotions pulsing through my whole body as he sang his famous song, "You're Beautiful," I was amazed again as I walked home to see a rather unusual sight.

As I came home to my apartment tower tonight, before I went in, I looked over to the one-story shopping plaza next door and saw flames coming from the roof. I grabbed my cell phone and called 9-1-1. I said, "There are a couple of morons on top of the plaza roof swinging flaming torches!" The lady on the line said, "You mean fire?" I exclaimed, "Yes, firey, flaming, freakin' torches!" I gave her the location and she said cops were on the way. I waited for them to arrive in two squad cars. They entered the under-construction storefront, went up to the roof, and consulted with the flame-throwing dudes on the top of the one-story building. A few minutes later, one of the cops came down and I told him I was the one who called 9-1-1. He explained to me that the two men on the roof were contractors doing welding work on the air-conditioning system for the store that was under construction. I responded, "Okay. I thought there could be a reasonable explanation, but it just looked rather suspicious coming home and seeing flames coming from the roof of the plaza next door. I figured, I'd better be safe than sorry." The cop said, "No problem. Don't hesitate to call again."

So, basically, I performed my civic duty tonight to report suspicious activity. So why do I feel like a complete dork? I certainly made it an interesting night for those welders.

The good news is, I found out that the store the welders were working on is going to be a donut shop. A donut shop, right next door to my apartment! Yummy! What a night! I find out there's a donut shop being built next door to me, and I've just been to a stellar James Blunt concert! My life in Toronto is Beautiful!

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SIMON BECK
http://myspace.com/nudistpoet
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