But you gave me the best mixtape I have. And Even all the bad songs arnt so bad.
I just wish there was so much more then that about me and you......No I cant
find the words cuz Im lost in the minute. they fell out of my mouth. Yea, its
love and Im in it. SO give me your lips and just let me kiss them. Lets get
messed up and listen to probally the best mixtape I have. Even all the sad songs
aint so sad. I just wish there was so much more then that about me and you." -
Mixtape
Its been kinda crazy and a whirlwind. All these emotions and all
the thunder. Im learning new tricks and that some things are better on the other
side. that some things are great and do get better in time. Im learning to
accept dreams coming true and enjoying the sofntess of a sigh and the beauty of
whispers and unspoken emotions.*sigh* Im learning to be happy and learning to
cut off drama. However the more I try to cut it out of my life the more its
there.
Im trying to be a better person. Im trying to get a job. Damn the
economy. Im about to say "Screw it!" and just go take my pre GED test then get
the test and just go to school. Atleast then I get a $10,000 grant for being
divorced. I need money. I need things. Like Iv been saying for awhile Im tired
of asking. I feel bad. I look like a user and a mooch. Or atleast thats how I
feel. I feel low. Lower then low sometimes. I dont have money for even making my
house better. Im fn ashamed. Iv never felt like this before. Its just not
me.
Im ready to get back to the Source. Im ready to get back to 2007
Jenn. When I was a little bit happy and felt good. Sure I had angst but hell. I
love agnst. I love playing with fire and stars . It makes me feel
alive.
PS
I
get to see her next
month. 
Good
times. Its been awhile. Im totally going to kick her ass in Guitar Hero. Bring
it Hayley. Thats right. Im calling you out.
"The emptiness inside it gets you drunk.
I swear this
dark will never leave myside.
I swear your lying straight through your
smile.
It builds and then explodes.
Inside your heart. The feelings that
you have. Are feelings you dont want.
It stops and you go home where you
where born. Everything you have has all been lost."