FROM: Mr Agny  www.onehandedclap.com

"Whatever it is you are in doubt about, you are already on the verge of decision. Take that leap. At first you might feel like you are falling, only because you never knew what flying felt like."

I recieved an email from an old girlfriend the other day, in fact many of you may remember her as "the one". It has been about 5 years since we broke up (wow, where did those years go?). It was an odd email. I never thought I would hear from her again. After the first three sentences I already knew what this email was about. This would not be the first time I had heard this "speech" from an ex. It started out with small talk, How are you? How have you been? What have you been up to? Then just like the other times, as if scripted, she said it. The following are excerpts from this email:

"I just wanted you to know you are the best boyfriend I have ever had. I realized this everytime HE (the current man in her life) messes up and I find myself saying YOU would have done this better, or I would never have this argument with YOU...Things aren't how I thought they would be. Don't get me wrong I am happy, I love my daughter, but sometimes I find myself thinking I made a mistake and wonder what you and I would be doing right now...I just wanted you to know you are a great guy and I wish you the best and hope you are happy. I hope we can be friends now..."

I have found that sometimes we make a decision thinking it is the right one at the time, then slowly begin to think it mght not be the right one. We give it time to try to get better. But all we are doing now is conditioning ourselves to what is not right, instead of making another choice to correct it. Then at some point we feel like we are passed the point of no return and we have to just live with it and hope it gets better. But this never is the case. If something is bad for you, you cannot make it good, you can only make yourself conditioned to it. Then somehow we forget that it can be better, all along being content in the not so bad. At least three of my exes have given me this speech. And yes, it feels good to have the validation that I am a "great " guy. But what good does telling me this now do, as compared to the moments I was "being" that great guy when we were together and they thought they could be with someone better than me? Those are the moments I doubted myself. What was wrong with me? Why didnt they want me? I guess this is the "I told you so." I told you I was a great guy! But I dgress.

To quote Roxette, "Listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye." So many times we feel like we do things for the better. And this is a good thing. Everything you do must be to better oneself. It is the only way to better the world. But do not forget that what you do affects those around you. Jackie Robinson has a great quote that says

"Life is not important, except for the impact it has on other lives."

You must always do what you feel is right. But never forget once you make contact with someone you will forever change their life. And it is up to them to do with that change what they want. I know now the choice my ex made that made me an ex, was not an easy one for her. It is what she felt was the best for her at the moment. I cannot be angry at her for manifesting the greatness that she wanted for herself. She took a leap of faith.

The lesson here is when you take that leap, be prepared to let get go of everything. You might feel like the ground is falling beneath you, but it is just that you are walking on new ground. When you feel like you are falling, you are floating with new thoughts of how to keep on a chosen path. Be aware of what you are thinking - the answers are there. Don't let the fear keep you from seeing it. It's like taking that leap off a cliff and somehow at the last second grabbing hold of a rock that is falling with you as if to help you in your fall. That rock is symbolic of you not wanting to let go of the things that made you want to take that leap in the first place. You might feel a little discomfort at first, that is because you are doing something new, something different from what you are used to. Everything new is different, and eventually it isn't new anymore. Learn to let go of it and decide you are NOT falling but rather you are FLYING.

And to my beloved exes: I am not that rock you can hold onto on your leap. I am thankful you made a change in my life. And because of you I am Flying.

peAce...