I sit here and its been a rough day.  I wake up in the mornings and it takes about 30 seconds then its a kick in the balls( if I had them).  I know I am not the only parent that has lost a child, but GOD it feels like it.  I  know that I could not go on if we had not had the relationship that we did.  I don't understand parents that don't make an effort to have peace with their child.  Maybe I was wrong to let him be as free as he was(and now is) but thats what made him who he was.  We shared so much...he let me into his life because I always let him be him.  I am not naive enough to think that he told me everything, I know he didn't.  BUT he shared a lot with me...his hopes...his dreams...his fears...his feelings...his loves.  I feel very special that I was allowed to be part of his world.  His Dad and I always wanted him to experience life, and we let him.  I am so grateful that he shared his life with so many wonderful people...I will continue to do so.  Thumper, Mommy and Daddy love you so much...Thank you for sharing that love, thank you for letting us be in your circle.  Thank you for being...YOU.  Love mom