I have been asked to write a few words on the subject of Eilir Pierce, in recognition of his ten years' of service to the music industry, and in anticipation of his first major retrospective Degawdawns, so here goes nothing...

What more is there to say about Eilir Pierce? If you missed him the first time round, where were you brother? When Eladus tore up the rules about what constituted a good song and what constituted a bad one where were you brother? Listening to OK Computer? When the boy from Clocaenog ripped open our hearts with I Met Jesus and He Was Crying were you there? Or were you at the bank asking about a mortgage? If you were too stoned or too straight to switch on to the vibes when they were actually being transmitted, what makes you think you have the right to tune in now? Just stick your snotty mainstream noses back into Mojo and Q and everything will be fine. Maybe David Gray will release a new album soon.

And you, yes you, 16-year-old kid, squeezing your spots in the mirror and thinking that Pierce is talking directly to you when he sings "when you want power you can complain to the Irish Republic with no difficulty." IT'S NOT FOR YOU. You don't get it. If you were too young to catch Pierce when his flower first bloomed, then sorry, you missed the boat: you were born too late. Just fuck off and listen to the Arctic Monkeys and get your own geniuses. Do you think Pierce gives a shit about you? He won't even return my calls, so what hope have you got?

But if there's just one of you out there, just one single person who, like Pierce and his acolytes, survived Thatcher, Britpop, grunge and school and told the tale, yet somehow couldn't reach out and touch Eilir Pierce at the time because of injury, distance or perhaps coma, Degawdawns is for you. Degawdawns hereby signals Pierce's forgiveness for your inability to support him through his golden years, and offers you the opportunity to make amends by swearing allegiance to him, financially.

Everyone else can fuck off and die though, you ungrateful losers. Pierce can't stop you buying this album, but I can still do my very best to.

Deferry Cornwallis, Cornwall